Hola guys! So I had the random idea to write a story about the Hetalia crew getting drunk off their asses! Why? Because I'll most likely find it amusing. Also a little note, this is written from Norway's POV. Enjoy~
Just a Little Tipsy.
Drunk people...drunks everywhere! Norway sat in a booth watching all the nations getting drunk off their ass with vodka, gin, wine, and other assortments of alcohol. Norway watched in slight amusement as to what was happening at the bar, originally this was supposed to be a peaceful gathering after a World Conference meeting but clearly what they ment by peaceful gathering was get drunk till you can't count to 3.
In one corner of the bar England stood on a table declaring he was a pirate. "Oi you bloody wankers! Listen to me or I'll make you swab my poop deck!" he yelled in a slurred fashion stepping forward towards a faded France who was laughing his head off "Pfffff you said poopdeck! POOP! Ohohohohoho!" he yelled swaying back and forth. England glared at him with his emerald eyes "Oh ya don't believe me huh? Swab my poop deck!" he yelled. What happened next made Norway want to pull the table out from under the Englishmen.
England had turned and pulled down his pants and bent over towards France...Which in retrospect wasn't a great idea. France tried climbing onto the table with England with that oh so infamous rape face but the table didn't agree and broke right out from underneath them as France fell and knocked his head on a bar stool effectively knocking him out cold. England just smashed his face into the ground as he lie there with his pants down out cold on the floor. Norway just watched in slight amusement at this, he had chosen not to drink and instead just watch, but this was turning into more of a show then he expected.
In the other end of the bar it was like Italy and Germany had completely switched personalities. "C'mon~ Just lemme have one more sip!" Germany begged Italy who was holding a bottle of wine over his head to keep away from the German. "Noitsmine!" the Italian slurred trying to back away from the clingy German. Germany whined some more and began to tug on his pants causing the drunk Italian to fall spilling the wine all over the marble floor.
German who apparently was desperate for alcohol began to lick the puddle of wine as Norway watched amused to this as Italy then pounced on him and started choking him "Vee! It's my wine!" he whined as the German then began to choke on the wine and the Italian strangling him. Norway sighed and considered going over to help them but decided to pull a Switzerland and stay neutral. Speaking of neutral, were was the swiss man anyways? He gazed around the room and saw the blond sitting by the corner chugging a bottle of vodka with other bottles around him.
"Dear god I can smell the vodka from over here" Norway thought. Apparently so could Russia as he approached the Swiss man "You will become with Russia and share your hoard of vodka, da?" he said almost tripping over the bottles. Norway raised an eyebrow as Switzerland just eyed him then in like the blink of an eye Russia went flying across the room as Switzerland pulled out a gun and put a cap in his chest!
"Jesus Christ!" Norway yelled ducking down as Switzerland yelled out in a slur "Getoutofhereya d-damn commie!" he said now pouring a bottle of vodka on him like it was a bottle of ice-cold water on a hot summers day. Thank god the gun welding nation soon got knocked out cold by...Japan who had his shirt wrapped around his head and his pants had been discarded somewhere.
As for how Switzerland got knocked out Japan came from nowhere, or the gigantic hole in the ceiling and basically mugged the neutral nation and was now rummaging through his wallet. Soon after a moment Japan flung the wallet away letting out a yell of frustration. To see Japan angry and not mellow was...odd to say the least. Norway observed as Prussia made his way towards (Slipping every few steps) Japan carrying a lot of menus.
"Hello sir, do you have time to hear about our Lord Charlie Sheen?" he said offering him a menu. As Japan turned around raising an eyebrow and took the black laced menu and began to read it "Yes I would like an all meat pizza, hold the meat." he said now staring at Prussia. Somehow in Japan saying that Prussia flipped out and grabbed Japan's collar and flung him out the window "Our Lord always wins!" he yelled as Japan flew out the window in the parking lot.
Norway looked on concerned for Japan's health. Japan slowly got up staggering a bit as he pointed towards Prussia.
Bam!
Japan was then hit by a frying pan that was sticking out of a car causing Norway's heart to sink a little. Inside the car was Austria hanging out of the sun roof yelling "Anarchy!" and Hungary whom was driving, holding a frying pan, and blaring death metal music .Prussia seemed to 'walk' away satisfied at the result. China who had arrived began to cry and run towards Japan who lie in a heap in the middle of the road. "Japan speak to me!" he yelled as he approached his friend's body.
Bam!
China was then hit by a car and sent flying like a rag doll causing Norway's eyes to widen. Inside this car was a...shirtless Ukraine and a hammered Belarus driving. Norway pulled his eyes away and noted the Spain was dancing shirtless on a table, he did have a nice body...But what he found odd was the Italian who was in the chair. No not Romano. It was Northern Italy who was throwing singles at the Spanish nation.
Norway then watched Romano come from the bathroom nearly tripping on nothing as he then looking at his brother throwing money at Spain and his face began one of anger and fury as he ran forward. Romano ran forwarded and proceeded to flip the table sending a shirtless Spain flying right into a wall. He then took the table and hit his brother with it repeatedly. Norway's eyes grew as big as saucers at this specitcal.
Then like the drop off a hat Romano dropped onto the out cold Italian crying "Why! He was so young! He was my sister!" Sister...? It was always a wonder what gender the northern Italian was. Regardless back at the bar was...some guy and America. Wait two America's? except one had a curl...Oh well the one had gotten a shot of rum and was now squirting maple syrup into it much to America's amusement.
"Note to self...Never visit North America..." Norway though to himself. "Ay, are you watching?" The unknown man asked as America nodded "Ya sure?" he said as America nodded again getting annoyed. The blond-haired man then poured the shot all over himself from head to toe..."What...?" Norway said quietly. "Ya see, now I can stick to stuff!" the man yelled out. America stared wide-eyed "No way dude! I wanna see!" he yelled.
Now Norway hardly showed expression, calm if any thing, but the look on his face was one of sheer amusement as the man began to back up and get a head start. He then ran full speed at the wall and leaped right towards it, he then went flying right through the paper-thin wall. The American then began to laugh like a hyena at the result of his friends stupidity.
Norway shook his head a bit holding back a laugh as a thought then hit him. "Where the fuck is my brother!?" he yelled out getting out from under the table. he spotted Denmark sitting on the bar stool sobbing loudly as Norway approached him and whirled the oaf around "Denmark!" he yelled out angrily. Denmark just cried and stared at Norway sobbing like a baby. Norway slapped the nation hard "Where is Iceland!" he gritted through his teeth.
Denmark whined "They took him!" he yelled. Oh god no... Denmark continued "To a place where we can never get him!" he yelled out loudly. "Where!?" Norway yelled frantically. "The girls bathroom." Denmark said solemnly as Norway face palmed. Norway left his drunk emotional friend and charged into the women's restroom and inside saw his little brother shirtless surrounded by other female countries.
Norway's lower eye twitched as he watched his brother be seduced by these...whores! "Iceland!" he yelled loud enough to wake the dead. Iceland stared at his brother relived "Norway help! I just wanted a paper towel!" he yelled out.
(Norway to the rescue!)
Norway moved forward and yanked his shirtless brother away from the female countries and growled at them "if you all wanna have a good time there is a knocked out Brit with his pants down and out-cold Spaniard without a shirt. That was enough to interest them as they all ran out of the bathroom in search of the pantless England and shirtless Spain.
Norway led his brother out of the women's bathroom as Iceland just rambled "It was crazy Norway...They came from the stalls!" he yelled as his pupils were dilated. Norway sighed "Don't worry, Onii-chan will take care of you." he said craddling the silver-haired countries head into his chest. "Thank you Onii-Chan" Iceland said in a slurred voice. Norway blushed at smiled gently.
Fin~ Hope you guy's enjoyed ^.^ Review! Also if you like serious stories then go read my story titled "World War 3" and if you want more humor go look at "Dissing War!" Thanks (: