Letters of Despair

by fairycutter

Dear Fanfiction Writers, Thank you for all the great stories you wrote about us so far. We enjoyed it, kinda. With all due respect, can we ask for something? Please stop write nonsense about us. We believe that there is so much good stories you can come up for us, so let just stick with the good material, okay? Thank you. Oh! Malfoy said, he's not asking, he demanded.

1. I'm straight and I love Ginny

Dear Fanfiction Writers,

Could you please stop writing nonsense fiction about me? Pretty please... Especially with whom you lots pairing me with. I love Ginny, I really do. I don't care even if our relationship are cliché or predictable or unoriginal. I love her, and that is the only thing that matter.

Yes, Luna is awesome. How hard is it for you to understand that she is a friend to me, a good friend and I owe her a lot, but a friend nonetheless. And please don't even let me start on Hermione, I do love her, you know, but as a sister.

One more thing, the most important thing, not that I'm saying my love for Ginny not the most important thing... it just... I'm straight people! Stop your crazy idea pairing me with men. I hate Voldemort, I dislike Malfoys (yes both) and I certainly not have a thing for Zabini or any other men your twisted mind come to think and write.

Please stop! I'm War Hero, I have reputation to uphold. I have enough stress from the Press and Ginny, as much as I love her, she loves to tease me when she read slashfic but you know what? She's so scary when she read about me paired with other women.

So for the peace in the Wizarding World and for the love of Merlin, please stop write nonsenses stories or else I'll ask Hermione to do something with your Brain, and that if you still have brain after Ginny finish with you guys.

Heed my wish or suffer,

Harry Potter