I do not own Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha, or any of the characters within (as much as I would love to have Fate...)
This is for you, Angel. Thanks for helping me get back into writing again. I hope it's what you wanted.
-----------------------
Fate-chan? The telepathic whisper broke her out of her reverie. Are you awake?
Fate turned her head to gaze at her friend. Uhn…..yeah
Beautiful, piercing blue eyes stared back at her with such intensity that Fate could not bring herself to meet that gaze.
I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable, Fate-chan
Startled, Fate replied out loud, "You didn't….."
It's okay. I'll stop teasing you, okay?
No! The blonde cried out forcefully, making her friend wince silently. I just….
Nanoha shook her head, and when she looked back, she had a smile on her lips that didn't reach her eyes.
Promise me…….promise that we'll stay friends? When you start dating…….you'll still have time for me?
Hearing those words from her friend—her closest friend, her beacon in a bleak world—was enough to rend Fate's heart. She pushed back her covers and crawled slowly over to Nanoha's bedding. For a moment, she hesitated, kneeling above the covers, but her friend lifted up the sheets, and Fate's will broke. She wanted—no, she needed—the contact. If I don't do this now, I never will.
Fate climbed into bed and wrapped her arms around her friend, but kept space between them. Her chest burned for the warmth, and her arms ached to pull the girl closer, but fear gnawed at her. Whatifsherejectsme? WhatifIscrewup? Please, don't let me hurt her.
"Nanoha…." She whispered, looking away, toward the ceiling, the wall; anywhere but those eyes that stripped her soul bare. "I'm not going anywhere…..I…..I'm not dating anyone. At all."
She felt her friend stiffen at the finality of her words, and then shiver. "It's not because of me, it is?"
"No! I mean……kind of…..but not like that….." A flush crept across the blonde's face as she struggle to keep her breathing regular. Why is this so hard? Why can't I say it?
"What is it, Fate-chan?" Nanoha's hand reached out, gently brushing several stray hairs from Fate's cheek.
"I…..I don't…..it's nothing." She tried to smile reassuringly at her friend, but that touch, and those warm questing eyes………Fate could feel herself slipping away, melting against her friend as her heart flooded with desire, pain, regret…..and hopelessness. No….I need to do it…..I have to……
"Please, tell me?" Those eyes, drilling into her….
"I'm trying." Such beautiful eyes……. "This would be easier if I were Yuuno," she spat out bitterly, blinking away the tears that were threatening to form.
The brunette drew away from the girl, surprised at the sudden spite. "Yuuno-kun….what? I don't understand……"
Gathering the last of her courage, Fate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. If I don't look in her eyes, I can do this……
"I…..I love Nanoha…." A flood of emotion, the words rushing out now that the dam she had so carefully built around her heart had broken. It was too late to stop; the momentum of her words, of her heart, kept her going, past any hope of salvation. "I love Nanoha! I want to always be with her!" Fate opened her hungry, burgundy eyes in a panic, desperate to see what effect her words had had on her friend. Nanoha's eyes were closed, and she lay limply in Fate's arms, chewing on her lip.
For a while, Fate watched her, waiting for the girl to say something—anything at all. Reject me, love me, push me away….something, anything! Just do something! Fate bit her lip to keep from crying out, and the taste of blood reminded her that this was real—too late to take anything back.
Suddenly, the silence was oppressive. Fate pulled away from Nanoha, backing out from under the covers entirely, desperate for air; for sound.
"Are you…." She paused, unsure of what to ask. "Do you hate me?"
"Never!" Nanoha scooted toward Fate, taking the girl's right hand in hers, and pulling her close with her left. "I love Fate-chan. You have so many people who love you…."
"But I want Nanoha!" Fate replied, both mentally and verbally, stunning her friend with the energy and certainty in those words. "I want the girl who took my pain; who took my attacks and reached out to me. The girl who saved me from myself," Fate's vision blurred as the tears came again unbidden, but she ignored them, focusing only on the girl next to her, and the feelings tearing their way out of her soul. "I want to be with the girl who makes me feel warm, and happy, and safe; who cheers me with her smile," she paused, trying to put words to the maelstrom of emotions she held within her. "I need her." She looked to Nanoha again, but the girl's face was blank; implacable. An icy knot formed in her stomach, but Fate knew that she had to finish. Even if it doesn't work, I need to try. I need to explain, for my sake as well as hers.
"I always find myself going out of my way to make you happy. No matter what I am doing, I put it aside so that I might please you, and see you smile. I want to protect that smile forever. I don't want anyone else….I just want to be close to you…….like this……" She pressed her face alongside Nanoha's, letting her tears run onto the other girl's cheek. "…..For as long as you let me."
"Fate……" soft, warm hands touch her back, one sliding slowly, tentative, up along her neck and onto her head, fingers running through her long blonde hair. Fate shuddered, daring to let herself hope……
"Just kiss already!"
Startled, the two pulled away from each other, tangling themselves up in blankets, and each other. Fate, trying to scurry back into her bed, fell backward, tugging an off-balance Nanoha over on top of her. From her position on the floor, Fate could see Arisa sitting up on Suzuka's bed, cheeks puffed out as she glared at the girls on the floor.
"Nyahahahah," Nanoha scratched her cheek as Fate began untangling her legs from the other girl's. Arisa glared for a moment longer, but Fate could almost imagine her lips curling up into a smile as she flopped back down onto the bed.
Nanoha had climbed back into her bedding, but had not pulled up the covers. When she caught Fate looking at her, she smiled shyly and backed up, making more room in the bed.
Even if this isn't real….even if it's a dream, or an illusion, Fate thought as she crawled into bed with her friend, it's good enough.
As she lay down, Nanoha wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her close, resting her head on the other's chest.
"Nanoha…."
The brunette put a finger to her friend's lips. Fate can stay forever.
Fate laid her head back, letting that one sentence sink in before gently placing one hand on the back of Nanoha's head, running her fingers through the silky locks. It wasn't long before she could feel the other girl's breathing slow, and hear gentle snores escaping. Fate closed her eyes and smiled, sighing once—a small, contented sound—before following into the darkness.
Arisa and Suzuka smiled at each other knowingly, their hands touching gently, lingering as they join their friends.
-
The air was warm and clear, promising fair weather for the day ahead. Arisa and Suzuka walked side by side, watching their friends play ahead of them.
"Fate-chan! Slowpoke!"
"Come here!"
"Gotta catch me!"
Fate ran forward, arms reaching out to grab her friend, when Nanoha suddenly rose into the air, small luminescent wings sprouting from her shoes.
"No fair flying!" Fate pouted. "Bardiche!"
When there was no response, Fate checked her pockets hurriedly. "Bardiche, where are you?"
"Captured, sir."
Fate looked up at Nanoha, who was proudly displaying the intelligent device. "Nyah!"
Fate made a few half-hearted grabs at the teasing girl, reaching out slightly each time she passed by. After the fourth pass, though, she leapt at the flier, attaching herself to the girl's back.
"You caught me," Nanoha whispered as her spell ended, bringing the two girls gently to the ground.
A little longer? Fate pleaded, holding her friend.
Forever.