Just a little something something for Easter. This was off the top of my head, so I apologize if it's not as humorous as it could be. Hope you enjoy! (:

Disclaimer: I owe nothing.

"Stefan, don't forget the basket!"

"Caroline, stop yelling at me. I'm really stressed right now and I just can't handle your bitching!"

"Ugh. Geez, I was just making sure you had everything. I want this to work just as badly as you, okay? So it has to be perfect."

Stefan sighed, "You're right; I'm sorry Caroline. It's just... My OTP efforts have been getting me nowhere and I... I... OMG." He put a hand to his chest to keep from what he recently dubbed an 'OTP Attack.'

"Hey hey, calm down. You're okay. We got this. What's the mantra I taught you? Remember it."

Stefan took deep breaths to calm himself. "Bamon 5evar, Bamon 5evar, Bamon 5evar."

Caroline rubbed his back in encouragement. "There ya go. That's it. You're okay. Bamon 5evar."

"I'm alright, now. Okay. Shew. This is gonna work, right Care?"

"That's right. Now come on; Bonnie will be here in ten minutes and if she suspects something's up, she'll leave. Got the eggs?"

"Yup. Let's do this."

The Bamon project had been going nowhere for Stefan. His many attempts at getting Bonnie and Damon sexing each other up proved to be unsuccessful and quite maddening to him. His first try him and Caroline asking the two going out to the supermarket to grab an item in the same aisle in hopes of a 'not so coincidence' run in. That proved to useless as both went to separate grocery stores. The second attempt had been more life threatening; Stefan compelled a boy from school to try and rob Bonnie of her purse at the Grill. At the same time casually bringing up that Damon should go check out the parking lot. Long story short, Damon wasn't needed as Bonnie ended up beating the shit out of the boy before Damon showed up.

Stefan had never been so frustrated in his undead life. He had shipped many couples before, but Bonnie and Damon were the most infuriating and stressful. So much so that he ended up needing to see a dermatologist about the wrinkles his OTP had been causing his forehead. It was all too much! But he refused to give up. No. His OTP would be together no matter how many brooding wrinkles he ended up with. After the first two failures, he decided to seek someone out. Someone who had been shipping his bbys even before he had.

Lucy.

He and Care had met with her in hopes of getting help. He explained the situation, cried a little, and ended up in the witches comforting embrace while begging for help through the tears. She confessed how she shipped the two and decided she'd use a little magic to help. Luckily for the trio, Easter had been coming up so she used her shipping skills in the form of chocolate eggs spelled with a desire spell. All Bonnie and Damon would have to do is eat the eggs and all would be right in the world of Stefan the Bamon Fanboy as his OTP would finally get in each others pants and have sweet supernatural love time while their fanboy watched on like a proud momma.

That's how he now finds himself in an Easter bunny costume, a basket with the eggs, Caroline looking from the distance, and hope in his Bamon heart. He waited in the bushes of the Salvatore backyard going unnoticed by Damon who sat at the patio table with a glass of Bourbon in hand and agitated face.

"Seriously, Stefan, what the hell is this?" He muttered to himself and looked at his watch. His little brother had told him to go out on the patio and wait for a surprise. Damon had been reluctant of course, especially after the way Stef had been acting lately. He somehow always managed to bring witchy into the conversation every time they talked. Or he'd have a hissy fit and actually cry when he brought a bimbo home to have fun with. He really didn't get it. Damon knew girls were only possible of PMS, but Stefan was one exception. That's why he had agreed to meet outside; he really wasn't in the mood for another hissy fit. Whatever was going on had better been worth it by the time it was over. He heard the front door shut and turned around to see Bonnie making her to the back porch. "The hell?" Now he was really confused.

"Witchy? What are you doing here?"

"Um you texted me and told me to come here, Damon, duh."

Damon was becoming frustrated and even more confused. "No, I didn't. You must be mixed up."

Bonnie shook her head, "No, Damon, you did. Look." She showed him the message; it was indeed his number, but he didn't remember sending it.

"Yeah that's my number, but I didn't send that. Someone must have gotten a hold- STEFAN. Dammit, when I see him, I'm gonna snap his neck."

At this time the bunny dressed vampire thought it was the perfect time to hop out of the bushes. He bunny hopped his way to the pair, basket in hand and excitement in his heart. To say they were surprised is an understatement. All they could do was stand there, speechless and unable to make sense of what was happening.

"What the hell is this?" Bonnie was getting just as frustrated as Damon.

The bunny stopped in front of the two, pulled the two eggs out of the basket and handed them to the pair. They were clearly wary and suspicious of what was happening. The bunny gestured to open the wrappers and eat the delicious candy. He seemed harmless enough so they decided to go along with it.

Stefan could feel the adrenaline rushing in his body and the saliva building in his mouth as they got closer to the moment he'd been waiting for. He noticed the sweat beginning to pour, not only from the suit but from the anxiousness of what about to happen. After many efforts and many failures, his OTP was finally coming together on this joyous, pastel color-filled holiday all due to a nut-filled chocolatey goodness about to touch their tongues. His fanboy heart was screaming inside of his undead body as he waited for the moment of truth where he could jump out of the suit and squeal at his accomplished goal. It would be glorious and the beginning of something divine, all thanks to him.

Just as Bonnie made a move to put the candy in her mouth, she stopped...and Stefan remembered what he had seemed to forgotten in his relentless quest of getting his OTP together.

"I'm allergic to nuts."

She threw the piece of candy away.

Bunny Stefan collapsed to the ground. OTP Attack taking over. Dreams crushed again. Heart broken again. And his OTP still not together.

The only thought that came to his mind was:

'April Fools day is tomorrow.' A devious smile formed on his face and his brain began turning once again with ideas.

Someone has asked me to do an April Fools sequel, so I decided I will! It'll be up tomorrow! (:

-T

Bamon 5evar