Survivor: Crazy All-Stars

(A/N: Please vote in my profile poll for your favorite characters! Oh, and if you haven't already, please check out TJBambi93's Survivor stories!)

Jet Black is standing on the edge of a helicopter as it flies over some islands.

"Coming to you from the Orange Archipelago south of Kanto, it's Survivor Crazy All-Stars!" Jet Black announces. "I will be your main host for the tenth and final season of Crazy Packers Fan's Survivor seasons. Last year poor ratings shut down Survivor: Tropical Jungle, but we're back again for another go-around! This season will bring stuff you've never seen before in Survivor history. 30 players. 5 tribes. And 5 co-hosts, all previous hosts from other seasons of Crazy Packers Fan's Survivor seasons. Let's get to naming the cast right away!"

"First, it's the Heroes tribe! This one is going to be hosted by Tuxedo Mask. He will oversee the Tribal Councils for this tribe, until an inevitable merge sends the tribe over to me. Here are the contestants on the Heroes tribe! They will be wearing the green buffs. First, we have Kagome Higurashi, runner-up of Survivor: Feudal Japan!"

Kagome appears on a boat, holding onto a bow and arrow. She relaxes with her head on a shoulder to a white-haired boy.

"I fell in love with Toshiro Hitsugaya when I was out here the first time," Kagome says. "Then I nearly even won the game. This time I'm coming out here to prove that I can win in a jury, after I thought I had it in the bag last time around."

"Next we have Toshiro Hitsugaya, sixth-place finisher of Survivor: Feudal Japan and sixth player voted out of Survivor: Hueco Mundo!"

"I have failed to win both times I've been in this game, and the most recent time was a very disappointing performance," Toshiro says. "But those things are of no concern to me compared to my love for Kagome. The love I have for her will last forever."

"Our third player on the Heroes tribe is America, third-place finisher of Survivor: Axis vs. Allies!"

"I'm America. I'm the hero!" America shouts. "I am the very definition of a hero, so of course I have to be on the Heroes tribe! And I will lead my tribe to victory every single time, then I will win the game, as the ultimate hero!"

"Next up is Finnick Odair, the winner of Survivor: Panem!"

"I fought through a very tough battle to win in Panem," Finnick states. "I want to become a two-time winner, after surviving twice in the Hunger Games. I don't think anything could possibly be as tough as the Hunger Games, but it's a totally different game."

"Our fifth player on the Heroes tribe is Candice, twelfth-place finisher from Survivor: Shamouti Island!"

"Cynthia utterly tortured me the last time I was out here," Candice states. "She treated me miserably. I sure hope that she isn't out here again, as she completely ruined my time in the game the last time around."

"And our final player on the Heroes tribe is Kaname Chidori, winner of Survivor: Xing!"

"I was able to win in Xing despite all the twists that the game offered," Kaname says. "I somehow found a way to survive everything the game threw at me. Now I'm out here trying to do it again. I'm not sure if I'll be able to win twice, but I'd sure like to last a long time!"

"And let's hear something from my co-host Tuxedo Mask, who will oversee the Tribal Councils of these six players!"

Tuxedo Mask appears on the boat of the Heroes tribe, watching as it plows on forward through the water.

"I'm going to be more gentle than Mr. Black usually is with his Tribal Councils," Tuxedo Mask says. "I'm going to go easy on these guys, unlike Jet."

"So now we move onto our next tribe, the Brains tribe! They will be wearing the blue buffs, and their co-host presiding over their Tribal Councils will be Caesar Flickerman, from Survivor: Panem! Our first member of the Brains tribe is someone who defines the Brains tribe perfectly, it's Ami Mizuno, also known as Sailor Mercury, 5th-place finisher in Feudal Japan, and 4th-place finisher in Hikawa Shrine!"

"If I played with people half as smart as me, I would have won both times already," Ami says. "That's not to mention the fact that I had the stupid 'Redemption Shrine' twist to screw me over the second time I played. This time, I'm going to account for everything, and make sure I come away with the ultimate prize."

"The other five players on Ami's tribe are all former winners of the game, starting with Meilin Rae, winner of Survivor: Seireitei Forest!"

"I am the youngest-ever winner of the game, but it wasn't easy," Meilin says. "In fact I was so unsuccessful at voting that I had only voted out one of the seven jury members. But I was smart enough to fight my way to the finish, and I'm going to use that experience to help myself try to do it again."

"Next is Rukia Kuchiki, winner of Survivor: Hueco Mundo!"

"I was on a terrible tribe that lost a lot of challenges," Rukia says. "I overcame that by making some big moves throughout the game, and keeping my friends close to me. In the end it all paid off as I won it all. Now I've got to try to repeat as champion, and it's going to be even harder, but I'm sure going to give it a try."

"Another former champion: China, from Survivor: Axis vs. Allies!"

"I have tried vely hard in this game to be successful," China says. "I have helped make the lice and make fliends, and even pray good at the challenges. I just hope that good pray will help me win again."

"And yet another former champion, back to play again, and perhaps our most popular: Whitney, from Survivor: Shamouti Island!"

"My victory last time was not my own," Whitney says. "It took a lot of good friends to help me win. I had support from Jasmine, Silver, Janine and especially my boyfriend Gold. Now I'm trying again to win, but this time without my good friends. It is sure going to be tough, but I'm going to give it the good old college try."

"Our final character on the Brains tribe is Tatsuki Arisawa, who finished 4th in Hueco Mundo and also won a season called Survivor: Packers!"

"I have a history of success at this game," Tatsuki says. "I've fought my way out of tough situations time and again. Getting to play with Rukia again is great for me, and I think the two of us could make a good pair as we try to make it to the end once more."

"As co-host, Caesar Flickerman will get to preside over the proceedings in Tribal Councils featuring the Brains tribe!"

"I will ask the important questions, as I am an excellent interviewer," Caesar says. "If people try to lie to me, I can make them very uncomfortable."

The camera shifts over to another boat, with Ancient Rome floating over the boat.

"As you can tell, Grandpa Rome will be the co-host for this next tribe, the Brawn tribe!" Jet announces. "They will wear the yellow buffs. Here's the first member of the tribe, Sango, winner of Survivor: Feudal Japan!"

"I think my strength was underrated when I won in Feudal Japan," Sango states. "No one expected me to win all those challenges that I did. Now no one expects me to win the game again, and I've got to try to prove them wrong."

"Our second player on the Brawn tribe is Minako Aino, winner of Survivor: Hikawa Shrine!"

"I want to win again!" Minako says. "Winning once was not enough for me. If I can make it far in this game, then I think I'll be able to win enough individual immunities to carry myself to the very end."

"Next on the Brawn tribe, someone who's made it into this game despite never having ever survived a single Tribal Council: Sabrina, from Survivor: Shamouti Island!"

"The first goal: survive my first Tribal Council," Sabrina says. "The second goal: get revenge on Cynthia for all she did for me, because I just know she's going to be out here. And the third goal: win it all. No better revenge than that."

"The next character on the Brawn tribe, someone who won a ton of challenges in Xing to get to 2nd place, but she first played in Feudal Japan: Temari!"

"Losing to Kaname Chidori in Xing was the most bitter taste of defeat I've ever had in my whole life," Temari says. "It won't happen again. I'm not losing out here, plain and simple. I'm more determined to win than ever before."

"Our next player is Silver, 10th-place finisher from Survivor: Shamouti Island!"

"I guess because I pulled the purple rock in Shamouti Island, the producers thought I didn't get a fair shake," Silver says. "So I'm getting a second chance out here. This time around, I'm going to avoid all ties and make sure that my fate is in my own hands."

"And finally, our last player on the Brawn tribe is Yoruichi, third-place finisher from Survivor: Hueco Mundo!"

"In Hueco Mundo, I played a near-perfect game in my own mind," Yoruichi states. "I never had a single vote cast against me, and I won nearly every challenge. Just look at the stats – I dominated out there. But I didn't receive a single jury vote, and I ended up losing. I don't want that to happen again. This time, I'll get back to the end, and give a better case to the jury – one that they'll be sure to accept."

"Ancient Rome will preside over the Tribal Councils of the Brawn tribe, and he's sure to make them fun!"

"Listen as I tell you what a Brawn tribe would be: the players would all be strong, they'd all beat everyone else! They'd all be extremely burly, and they certainly wouldn't be from France!" Ancient Rome sings.

"Now it's time for the Villains tribe, wearing the blood-red buffs!" Jet shouts. "First on the tribe, the very villainous Light Yagami, one of the runner-ups from Survivor: Seireitei Forest!"

"I played a perfect game the last time I was out here, and for some reason the jury refused to give me the million dollars," Light says. "I don't know what else I have to do in order to win the game, but if there is anything, I'll do it. It's just going to take everything I've got and more."

"Next is Prussia, a crazy little guy from… well, Prussia. He finished fourth in Survivor: Axis vs. Allies!"

"How could anyone go up against the awesome me?" Prussia says. "My awesomeness will carry me far in the game once again. No one is nearly as great as I am!"

"Our next player is Haruka Tenoh, also known as Sailor Uranus, the third-place finisher from Survivor: Hikawa Shrine!"

"I want to become the first lesbian to win Survivor – the first 'out' lesbian, anyway," Haruka says. "Rumor has it Rukia has a thing for Orihime. I think people have a bias against lesbians and that's why no one's come out who's been on the show. They voted me out right away but I fought back at the Redemption Shrine to stay in the game. If that makes me a villain, so be it, but I'll fight to try to stay around."

"Next up is a real doozy of a character," Jet says. "It's Cynthia, 2nd-place finisher in Survivor: Shamouti Island and quite possibly the biggest villain of all-time!"

"I will reign as queen once more," Cynthia says. "I was the queen of Shamouti Island, and I will be queen here. The top prize – that's just baby stuff. I'm not really concerned with that. What I care about is everyone out here recognizing me as their queen."

"And next is Loly Aivirrne, the Arrancar from Bleach who managed to finish 3rd in Xing!"

"I hate everyone!" Loly exclaims. "Haruhi was who I hated most while I was in Xing, but if she's not here I'll find someone else to hate. And I'll hate everyone on my own tribe, no doubt about it. It'll be funny if I manage to make everyone's lives miserable once more, cause no one understands me or likes me."

"The final member of the Villains tribe is Enobaria from Panem, who finished 5th!"

"I'm going to sink my teeth into this game and try to beat everyone at it," Enobaria says. "Some people don't think I'm very good, but I'll show them. It wasn't a fluke that I made it all the way to the final episode in Panem, and it won't be a fluke when I make it very far yet again."

"Professor Ivy will be the host for the Villains tribe, which is very fitting because she put up with all of Cynthia's antics in Shamouti Island."

"I'm going to be gunning for Cynthia right away," Professor Ivy says. "That's right, as a host. The same way Probst chooses his favorites and guns after others, I'm going to do all I can to get the players to vote out Cynthia first. Hopefully they're smart enough to do that in their first vote, because if not, she's going to be a pain in the butt for 13 episodes again."

"So here's our fifth and final tribe, the Crazy tribe!" Jet announces. "They will be wearing the orange buffs. These are all members of the game who are certifiably insane. Okay, not really, but everyone who's played with them would say they're crazy. We start out with Anise, the winner of the cancelled Survivor: Tropical Jungle!"

"Booo! They cancelled my season! No fair!" Anise cries. "I won that season fair and square, and I did so while controlling the game from start to finish. It's no fair that I was not allowed to be seen in all my glory. I deserve better than that!"

"Next is Asuka Langley Soryu, 3rd-place finisher from Feudal Japan and best Eva pilot in the world!"

"Last time, I got stuck with stupid Shinji!" Asuka shouts. "But this time I'm not with that loser, and it's going to be much easier for me as a result. It's all his fault I didn't win, that's for sure!"

"Next is the one - the only - Haruhi Suzumiya!"

"I really want to win!" Haruhi says. "I'll do whatever it takes to win, I don't care! If it means bending the laws of the universe, I'll do it!"

"Our next character is none other than Kenpachi Zaraki, 11th-place finisher in Seireitei Forest and 9th-place finisher in Hueco Mundo!"

"I have no intention of trying to win this game," Kenpachi says. "All I really want is a good fight. Where's Ichigo? I want to take him down!"

"Okay, so our next two characters have quite a little rivalry going. First, there's Roxanne, 7th-place finisher from Shamouti Island!"

"I pray to Arceus that I am able to do well out here," Roxanne says. "I also pray that nonbelievers like the girl sitting next to me are punished and defeated swiftly and severely."

"And our final character, she's Roxanne's rival, Giselle – who finished 3rd at Shamouti Island!"

"I am the greatest Pokemon trainer in the world!" Giselle exclaims. "Seven-time Pokemon League champion, unmatched in skill and strategy. Oh, some will say that I was knocked off my perch by this upcomer Iris, as she became the new champion, but I don't really care about that. What I care about is becoming champion of this game. I haven't conquered it yet, but I will – and I will do so this time. No one's stopping me!"

"And our final co-host – he's a crazy one himself, Kisuke Urahara, host of Survivor: Hueco Mundo!"

"I'm not really too concerned about how good or bad of a host people think I am," Kisuke says. "I'm just going out there to cash my paycheck and that's pretty much about it. They got me with a whole bunch of crazies, I'm just going to go out and have some fun."

"All these characters and co-hosts will take part in Survivor: Crazy All-Stars!" Jet exclaims. "39 days, 30 people – one Survivor!"

Coming up this season on Survivor: Crazy All-Stars:

Immunity idols galore…

"Here you go, Prussia," Light says. "It's an immunity idol, and I guarantee it's real. Use it to your own advantage."

"Ah, thank you, another present for the awesome me!" Prussia responds.

"Hey, guess what?" Giselle tells Roxanne. "I got myself a hidden immunity idol!"

"Throw that thing away!" Roxanne shouts. "Arceus disapproves of all idols!"

"It's just a toy!" Giselle yells back.

...super-tough challenges…

"This challenge will involve walking on broken glass," Jet announces.

"Your injuries are too severe. You must leave the game."

"That! Will! Leave! A! Mark!" Jet shouts.

...and of course, the occasional blindside.

"Wow," Professor Ivy says. "Even the great Queen Cynthia didn't see that one coming, especially on the first vote."

"I can't believe this has happened again," Kisuke says. "You guys are just too much."

All this and a whole lot more on Survivor: Crazy All-Stars!