This is about ... stuff. Um, yeah. This is only rated PG-13 because I say bitch. That's it. NOTE: 100 yen = about $.80. DISCLAIMER : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Kiyone. She is my friend's OC. I do, however, own the world. Bow down to me feeble humans! Bwa ha ha! I am done.
===
The living room at the Kaiba Mansion was silent. Seto glared at the group of people that lied over every square inch of the floor. They were Yuugi's friends. Somehow, Mokuba had tricked Seto into inviting all of them over. Ugh. They were not friends of his. To the steady sound of the clock's ticking, Seto waited for the time when they would leave. If they ever did.
Everyone in the room had a characteristic relaxed pose. Yami Malik lied on his back with a Playgirl above his head, Yuugi sat in a perky position with a bright smile, Jouno stood loosely holding a bag of potato chips, Ryou leaned against Malik and Bakura shmushed together on a couch, and Yami quietly sat next to Seto. Yami's stare was far and distant. His thoughts seemed to extend to an outer dimension. No one could disturb him. Seto, however, decided to break the uneasy silence.
"I am bored." He looked towards Yami.
Seto could finally tell what Yami was looking at. It was his hikari. Yami broke his intense stare from Yuugi. "Then, let's make a bet."
Seto was surprised that Yami even cared. "Okay, what about?"
"Well," Yami looked around the room for a decent subject. His eyes fell, yet again, onto Yuugi. "Seto, you do have a 'bitch', right?"
"You mean like someone who does whatever I want?"
"Yeah."
"I have this girl and her name is ... something with a K ... Kelly! Yes, that's her name. Kelly, get in here!" Seto yelled. Almost immediately, a young girl entered the room. Her long, straight blonde hair lightly flowed as she walked. The green Kaiba Corp jacket she wore complemented nicely with her perfect skin. She was simply beautiful. Two pointed ears under her hair showed all that she was an elf.
"Hello, Seto-sama!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, you ... Kelly. Come here," Seto commanded.
She bowed her head. "Of course. Um, my name is Kiyone, but Kelly is close. It is better than what you called me last week. Aardvark was a pretty name, though." Kiyone straightened herself and rushed over to Seto. She always acted that way around him, for she loved Seto with every fiber of her elven being. However, people did feel bad for her. Kiyone would do anything that Seto wanted, even if it hurt her. Seto did not really love her back, anyway. (AN : See Aisha with Issues's profile/stories)
Yami continued, "I have got Yami and you have got Kiyone. We both have bitches, then." Kiyone got a slightly annoyed look on her face from being called a bitch. It didn't matter, though. She was near Seto. "So, I am going to test my bitch against yours. I want to see who's more loyal."
Seto butted in. "And, whoever wins get's the loser's bitch for a day. And, you can do whatever you want with them. Don't worry, I'll be nice to Yuugi," he sneered.
"It's a deal," Yami accepted. "My bitch is better."
All of the sudden, Yuugi jumped in between the two conversing people. "No, I don't want to do that! It's not fair. Why do I have to suffer?"
"But, aibo, if we win I ... I ... I won't hump you for a year."
Yuugi's face brightened. "Oh, that would be wonderful! I won't have to be your outlet for the constant horniness you have! For a whole year, too! Yay!!!" Yuugi began bouncing up and down with joy.
Yami smiled evilly. "So, Kaiba. What would you give Kiyone if you win?"
"She doesn't need anything," he replied flatly.
"I love you, koibito!" Kiyone grinned and huggled Seto's head. He reacted by swatted at her like she was an annoying fly.
Seto leaned back in his chair and cracked his knuckles. "Let's begin. I need an odd chore to give my bitch. Hmmm ... I've got it! Okay, Kelly. Go upstairs and put on that leather bikini with the thong. Then, go to the supermarket and get milk. Make sure you get the milk farthest back in the freezing refrigerator. Okay?" Before finishing his demand, Kiyone was already running up the stairs. She returned after a moment in a scandalous black leather outfit. With money at hand, she was out the door. Seto faced Yami. The whole room watched. "Beat that."
"Hmmm ... Yuugi, go upstairs and borrow one of Kiyone's leather thong. Then, go to the supermarket and get milk. Go!" Yuugi had a confused look on his face. He strolled up the steps and came back in the immoral underwear. No one dared to talk. He walked up to his yami. Swiftly he pulled a wad of money out of Yami's pocket and left. Yami smirked.
"You are soooo original," Seto mocked.
The two waited patiently for their bitches to return. Finally, the front door opened and Yuugi came in. He held a gallon of milk in one hand and a clump of blonde hair in the other. "I got ... the milk," Yuugi panted. It was hard. There was only on left so Kiyone fought me for it. Man, she needs to trim her nails. Ow. But, I did get it before she scratched out my eyes. " His near naked body was covered with bruises and cuts. There was even a bite mark on his shoulder. Yuugi gently touched it.
Yami stood up and approached his hikari. "Thank you, bitch. That is all for now." Yuugi trudged off to mourn his dignity's death. As for Yami, he spun around and stuck his tongue out at Seto.
=
The school bell sounded signifying the class's beginning. Instead of the traditional ring that was usual of a school bell, Domino High had Bye, Bye, Bye play. It annoyed all, except for Yuugi. He usual went between classes singing his heart out and dancing. Yami usually shuddered but envied Yuugi's singing capabilities. He would mumble, "Why didn't I have karaoke back in Ancient Egypt?"
One day in math, the teacher announced that they would be taking the finals that day. Seto sighed. He fumbled around in his leather coat searching for a writing utensil. All he found was a screw, wad of a 100,000 yen, and a goat. He had indeed forgotten a pencil. However, he got an idea.
Yami flipped over his exam and began to fill in the bubble answer sheet. He had no idea what a "quadrilateral" was. So, he decided to copy off his hikari as usual. Carefully, Yami leaned forward and began cheating off Yuugi. He finished quickly. Strangely, the darkened circles formed a pretty flower. Yami cocked an eyebrow. Yuugi giggled.
Across the room, the yami noticed Seto pulling out something from his front pocket. It was a cell phone. Seto flipped it in and began to whisper into it. Then, he closed it and smirked. The classroom door burst open. Kiyone glided in. She was wearing a hot pink spandex outfit with lace at every edge. Also, she had roller skates and did not seem to be good on them. "Hello ... again ... Seto-sama," she panted. "I ... I came as fast as I could." Kiyone slowly pushed herself over to his desk and presented an oaken box. With a dull lick, she opened its lid. Inside the many layers of emerald velvet sat a singular pencil.
Seto lazily reached up and picked up the pencil. "Uh, thanks Kelly." Kiyone smiled pleasantly and stumble back out.
"It's Kiyone, you idiot!" Yami yelled from across the room. "And was that necessary?"
Seto turned to gloat but was stopped by the teacher. "Seto Kaiba! You can't just interrupt the test like that. Detention!" she scolded.
Seto chuckled. "You know that I own this school and over half of Domino, ne?"
The teacher looked dumb founded for a moment. Then, she answered, "Um, you have a very nice day today, Mr. Kaiba." She spun around on her heals and sped off, fearful of her job.
"You know I can get Yuugi here just as fast." He reached up to touch his temples.
"What are you doing?" Seto wondered.
"Using my mind link."
"Tsss, why not use a cell phone?"
"Because mind links a much cooler."
"But, does your 'mind link' play Oops, I did it again? Seto commented. He pressed a button on the phone's keypad. Synthesize notes began filling the air. Yami glared at Seto with the utmost hatred. He folded his arms and fell back into his seat. Seto smiled for he and his bitch were now in the lead.
=
Lunchtime came shortly after. The seemingly millions of students filed into the large cafeteria. At one end of the room, a small door led to another room containing a long table. Behind the glass that covered the warm food stood the cafeteria ladies. Now, they were not much to look at. Their hairy lips and sweat stains even put them below Yami Malik's low standards. And that was saying a lot.
Seto, Yuugi, Kiyone, and Yami rushed for a spot in line. Seto just basically cut in front while the other three slipped in behind him. As usual, Seto threatened those who opposed his cutting by saying, "I own this school and I can shut it down anytime." It was horrible but very affective. Yuugi cringed at the food choices for the day. There was mystery meat with purple flecks in it and a cup containing a white, mushy lump. Yami figured it was either very bad milk or very good cheese that wet its cup. He just shrugged and continued on. A pass over the final lunch lady and he could pay. However ...
"Hey, Seto. Watch this," Yami called. He turned to Yuugi. "Okay Yuugi-kun. You still wanna win the bet?" Yuugi nodded his head rapidly. "Then kiss the lunch lady on the lips."
Yuugi's grew wide for a moment. He slumped his shoulders and approached the table. Then, he leaned over the glass. To the cafeteria worker's surprise, Yuugi planted a big kiss on her lips. He pulled away quickly and shuddered.
Without a second thought, Seto pointed to the lunch lady. Kiyone knew what he met. She hesitantly moved over to her and gave a second kiss. Sauntering back, Kiyone asked, "Have we won yet, Seto-sama?"
"No." Kiyone sighed. Yuugi, Seto, and his bitch left the little room in search for a table to sit at. Kiyone had not gotten anything. She was a vegetarian. The mystery meat probably had no meat in it, but she was unsure of the white lump.
Yami stayed behind. He just stood there staring at the cafeteria lady that both bitches had kissed. Her face was red from blushing and she was smiling widely. "Um, which kiss did you like more?" Yami asked.
"Depends," she responded. "The spiky haired was a great kisser, but I have always been a fan of blondes."
"You do know she was a girl, ne?"
"Yeah, so." Yami backed away from her. She was disturbing, even for someone like Yami. At the lunch table, Seto and the yami agreed mutually that no one had won this time.
=
School had been over for several hours. Seto lounged lazily in A Kaiba Corp swivel chair in a Kaiba Corp business meeting in the Kaiba Corp building. Some older man was strolling about the room proposing some idea for repainting the buildings' doors blue. Seto did not care.
His phone beeped in his pocket. Not worrying if anyone noticed, he flipped it open. A file entitled Me Win! popped up in the screen. Seto pushed a button and a picture came up. It was Yami and Yuugi water skiing. Yuugi was on the skis while Yami sat on his shoulders waving happily to the camera. As for the hikari, he was not so happy. Yuugi was trying with all of his power to stay up under the weight. His expression was pure anxiety. Seto would have normally laughed at the picture, but he had a bet to win.
Quickly, he dialed Kiyone's number. He pondered about how Yami took the picture while the phone rang. Kiyone answered. "Hello?"
"Yeah, hi. I-"
"Oh, it's you, Seto-sama! How are you!"
"Fine, whatever. I need you to rent a boat, get water skis, and find a very fat man. Then, meet me at the sea shore in 1 hour." He closed the phone and placed it back into his pocket. Seto looked up. Everyone in the room was staring at him. "Don't mind me, continue." Without missing a step, the meeting went on.
It was late evening and Yuugi still had neck pains from earlier. "Yami, why did we have to do that? I hurt," Yuugi complained. Yami made a slight humping motion from the seat he was in. "Ooooooh, now I remember!"
Something beeped. Yami leaped up and stood in a ninja stance. "What's trying to kill me!?" he yelled with wide eyes.
"Silly yami, it's just my phone." Yuugi picked up his cell from a table and looked at the screen. "Oh, Seto sent me a picture. But, why is it called Deal with It?" It was a shot of Kiyone, Seto, and some fat man. Seto had him back barely touching the water's surface as he was falling backwards into it. A very surprised Kiyone stood on water skis at an angle with a very large guy on her shoulders. They, too, were falling.
Yami looked at it over his hikari's shoulder. "Heh, they tried out doing us. Like he could," Yami chuckled.
"Yeah," Yuugi added, "that biznatch could never stomp you, homie Y."
"What ... what did you say?"
"Nothing." Yuugi gave a swift grin.
=
Yet again, the whole Yuugi gang sat in the Kaiba Mansion's living room. Seto had learned to tolerate them to some degree. He did agree that them being there kept out the rats. It had been almost a year since the bet had begun; yet the two gamblers never forgot. The tasks had begun more menial and less outrageous. Kiyone and Yuugi were kept at hand all the time just in case. Now, whenever a random idea popped up, they announced it. It would be carried out. The winner never stayed out in front for long. However, they knew they were at a tie.
By this time, Yuugi was worn out. He had lost his dignity dozens of times. The bet had reduced him to a huddled mass. While in the room with Seto and Yami, he usually sat in the corner twitching in fear. It was a sorry sight. Kiyone, on the other hand, was still pumped and ready. Nothing would stop her. She did not care about winning, but only about making her Seto happy.
Yami had a suggestion. "Kiyone, French kiss Seto," he said while weakly motioning to his competitor.
"Sure," she answered. Soon, they were deep in the kiss. They were passionately in deep like.
Yami knew he would have to do it too keep the balance up. "Yuugi, come here."
"Noooooo!" Yuugi screamed from the corner while convulsing. He could not stand it anymore. Yami's jaw dropped in shock. Something as simple as a kiss and his aibo could not do it? Yami had lost.
Seto pointed at Yami and mumbled something about "moo moss," while still kissing his koi. That roughly translates to "blue sauce" in Yuugi, "you lost" in English, or "hump me" in Yami. The bitch was Seto's for a day.
=
Yuugi stood at the doorway to Seto's room. He had been told to wait there as Seto strolled about the carpet. With much difficulty, he was trying to figure out what to do with the little runt. He got an idea. Seto grabbed Yuugi's shoulders and positioned him into a spot next to his couch. Then, he began sticking pencils into Yuugi's hair. He also hung coats off of the various spikes. Seto stepped back to admire his handiwork. "So, you are useful for something besides a humping post for your horny yami."
"Yeah," Yuugi replied with no energy. He was depressed. Since his yami had lost, then Yuugi was still open for sexuality. No free year. Yuugi sighed deeply.
Seto turned to leave. "I'll be back in a couple of -" He stopped. There was a gentle sucking noise coming from somewhere near him. He spun around to discover that one of his pencils was being pulled into the hair mass. "What's happening!?"
"Oh, my hair's just hungry. It would not settle for a pencil usually, but it must be starving. Got any turkey?" Yuugi asked. By then, Seto had already grabbed hold of the writing utensil and was now trying to pull it out. It was too late. The pencil was gone. Seto began to throw all of his coats and pencil away from Yuugi. The hair growled at the intruder.
"I am staying away from your hair from now on. Let's see, your head is too pointy to be used as a coffee table and you are too male to replace Kiyone so ... Time to go to the Pawn Shop."
Yuugi was confused. "What?"
=
Yami had finally found Seto. It had been two weeks since he had been given Yuugi. "Seto, where is my hikari?"
"Huh?" Seto mumbled while still reading the newspaper.
"Yuugi, you still have given my bitch back yet."
"Oh ... eh ... he's at the pawn shop."
"Why!?" Yami practically shouted.
"He did not make a good coffee table so I decided to get some money from him."
"So, you sold him?"
"Yeah, here, take this and buy him back, if you want." He threw 1000 yen at Yami. The yami picked up the cash and dashed of. For he was horny and needed relief.
Yuugi stared out of the shop's window. It was smudged from countless fingerprints. He began twiddling his thumbs. There had been nothing to do. The pawnshop's owner occasionally threw a cracker or two at Yuugi, but it was not enough. Yuugi began fiddling with the price tag around his neck. It read: Side Table Drawer/Fern 1000 yen. He had found it funny at first, but then realized the owner was not kidding. Especially when the owner began keeping mugs on him and tried to water his hair.
Depression had set in. Seto had gotten only 300 yen for Yuugi. Plus, the pawnshop's owner said that it had been a bargain. Yuugi wondered if he was worth more. And Seto answered with a very sure 'no'. So now Yuugi sat patiently in the window waiting for someone to buy him. Hopefully his yami would soon. His hair was hungry. And if he tried to leave, the shop owner threatened him with a blunt stick.
At the same time, Yami was walking down the street with money at hand. Seto had given him the address of the pawnshop. After wondering in the gorillas' enclosure at the zoo, he decided to ask for directions. The small storefront came into view. Yami looked into its window and found his hikari. Yuugi smiled brightly while pounding on the window yelling, "Buy me! Buy Me!"
Yami glanced at his money. "I don't know ... I do have enough for a porno magazine." The look on Yuugi's face turned into pure terror. "Well, I guess I could ... but I don't really need a coffee table. I'll get him anyway." Yuugi grinned again.
Yami stepped inside the little shop. Inside, there was piles of junk everywhere. Behind a grimy table stood a greasy man with a stained shirt. Yami cringed slightly before speaking. "Ah, yes. I would like to purchase the fern in the window, please."
Suddenly, someone strolled past the store. It was (Yami) Bakura. He glanced at the window and noticed the Yuugi was for sale. His sadistic expression flicked on. "I want to buy Yuugi! And he is so cheap!"
Yami heard Bakura's shout. He leaped backwards and locked the store's door shut. "Oh, no. He's mine!" Yami proclaimed.
Bakura began beating furiously against the entrance. "But, I want him!" With mighty force, he punched his hand through the glass. His hand reached inside. It was bleeding yet still grabbed at the air wildly. "I have money! Look, I'll pay 2000 yen for him!" Bakura pulled out a small wad of bills from his pocket. Yuugi began sobbing again.
Yami stepped away from the mad man and back towards the owner. "I'll pay 1000 yen right now."
"But the insane guy outside will pay 2000 and I want more money."
"What about 1000 and a button?"
"No."
Yami put the money behind his back and then brought it forward again. "What about 1000?"
"Okay. I will get you a bag." The man walked around the table and got a plastic bag. He placed it over Yuugi's hair.
Outside Bakura was sulking. "But, I wanted to play with him," he said pitifully while lapping up the blood covering his hand. "Mmm, I taste good." Bakura left to go find his personal bitch Ryou.
Yami paid the owner and quickly left with his hikari. The two walked next to each other. Yuugi was fumbling with a piece of plastic bag that had gotten stuck on his hair. "Thank you, Yami! I thought I would never leave that place. But, I do have a question. What would you have done with Kiyone is you had won?" Yami simply smiled.
===
That was very odd. Review!