Notes: Complete and total crack!fic. Not meant to be taken seriously.
Co-written with and for nightsangelinthetardis.
Inspired by the Cerulean Revolution tag on Tumblr.
A note on characters: The Doctor that appears in this fic is my AU Dark!Ten muse, whom I and my other RP partners refer to as Teine. He's got his own Tumblr blog (timelxrd-victorious), in case you want to read up on him and/or discover what he's up to when I'm not writing fics about him. Anj, which is a nickname for Anjelika, is an OC Nightbane muse played by nightsangelinthetardis. Their relationship is a complicated one, which I'm not going to go into detail on here, but to make a long story short she now travels with Teine in his TARDIS.
This fic started out as a joke side-thread between the two of us, and we decided it needed to be turned into a drabble. So, here you go.
Another note: If you're not familiar with the Doctor Who EU and the Tumblr Classic Who fandom, then I apologize if you're extremely confused. If you are familiar with either fandom, then hopefully you'll understand the joke.
The Doctor had meant to go to the drawing room, but somehow his Ship has directed him somewhere else. He's opened the door to what he'd thought was the drawing room, taken one look inside, and recoiled in horror at the sight of the green, leafy things surrounding the floor. Cautiously, he steps inside, and yelps in shock as feelers brush against his clothing and what little bit of skin is showing.
Anj hears him yelling in fear and comes running. "What's wrong?! Are you alright?"
"No! There's plants all over this room! Why are there plants in my TARDIS?!" Teine grimaces in disgust and shies back.
Anj blinks. "They're herbs, Teine. I cook with them. You…you didn't eat food… bland before….did you?"
Teine stiffens. "Well… no… but… I'm Prydonian, not Cerulean. And besides, plants are deadly! They can't be trusted!"
Anj looks at Teine like he really has lost his shit. "Teine, honey, they're just plants. I promise you none of the one's in here have any intention of eating you."
Teine eyes both her and the plants suspiciously. "How do you know?" He edges back against Anj. "They're the one thing on Gallifrey that wasn't telepathic. Only the Ceruleans were crazy enough to go outside the Citadel. They took their Loomlings outside! They touched plants! And trees! Rassilon knows what sort of diseases they might have picked up!"
"Well, I'll start with these come from Earth. Second, as they are Earth plants, and I have been working with these particular set of plants for the better part of my life and am still alive, I'd say we're safe." She slowly eases him out of the room.
He allows himself to be led out of the room, glaring with narrowed eyes at the plants. The Ceruleans have gotten to her: that's the only explanation for this sudden infestation.
Besides, he's seen Little Shop of Horrors—he knows how this is going to turn out.