"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond! I expect you to die!"
- Goldfinger 64
Lucy may have pushed her luck a little too far in her quest to find the mysterious thirteenth Zodiac. She backed up into an enchanting table, glancing nervously from side to side with no hope of escape. She was surrounded by hooded members of a Guild she had no idea existed. They loomed over her like a wall of shadows growing taller by the second.
And they were chanting. The dark figures repeated the same verses again and again in a communion of menacing voices.
"The serpent sleeps in the path of Providence.
Milk the heathen cow.
Cut her burdened rinds."
Lucy scooted backwards across the painted altar top and frightfully gulped. Her shivering fingers slid over the lines of a constellation she didn't have time to notice.
The dark Guild sages inched closer and closer toward her. Their faces were a riddle hidden in shadows. All that could be seen were the chilling whites of their eyes gleaming under their dark cowls.
"The serpent sleeps in the path of Providence.
Milk the heathen cow.
Cut her burdened rinds."
Lucy crawled further back. The robed figures lurched closer to the table with ominous intent.
"The serpent sleeps in the path of Providence.
Milk the heathen cow.
Cut her burdened rinds."
Lucy got the irking suspicion they were calling her fat.
"The serpent sleeps in the path of Providence.
Milk the heathen cow.
Cut her burdened rinds."
And who the heck was this Providence guy?
"The serpent sleeps in the path of Providence.
Milk the heathen cow.
Cut her burdened rinds."
The altar's dark power was sealing her own control over the Zodiac. Gemini wouldn't appear. Aquarius didn't work either. She frantically jingled through every magical trinket on her keychain and nothing happened.
Suddenly, Lucy blinked and noticed she wasn't holding her keychain anymore. In its place was something she had never seen before in her life: A single black key marked with the symbol for Ophiucus.
Well, at least she got what she came for.
"The serpent sleeps in the path of Providence.
Milk the heathen cow.
Cut her burdened rinds."
The stars of the constellation lit up underneath her. The surface of the altar turned into a sheet of transparent black crystal covering a void of utter darkness. Slithering black vines emerged from the cold surface and bound Lucy around the wrists, ankles, and waist. A thousand writhing snakes made pure abyssal hatred.
One of the whipping tendrils wrapped around her neck and formed a knot. It yanked her backwards and pulled her through the nightmarish void like an upside-down noose. Her screams echoed through the Guild chamber as she sunk into the darkness.
A bare toe wiggled against Natsu's nose. The smaller toes tickled underneath his chin, and the entire slender foot lifted his head up toward the altar.
The priestess of the Ophiucus was shaped like two watermelons sitting on top of an extra round pear. She was perched on the edge of the table with her legs swinging toward the ground. A snakeskin opera mask concealed the top part of her face.
She had her hair done in long golden pigtails. Cobra patterns were tattooed on her cheeks, and the Zodiac sign for the serpent was anointed on her back of her right hand. Her ceremonial robes consisted of little more than a bikini top and a loin cloth with some coiled garter snakes barely holding everything together. Behind her were her followers, a legion of robed figures that kept themselves hidden in the shadows. She was like a dainty but robust flesh idol used to ward off all the dreary robes.
Lucy lifted the mask away from her eyes to reveal her secret identity. Which was weird, because she wasn't fooling anyone with that figure.
"Lucy… what are you… ?" Natsu weakly gasped, still exhausted from the fight. He was trying to say "What are you going to do?," but "What are you?" may have actually been a more appropriate question given Lucy's dubious metaphysical state.
The Ophiucus oracle giggled out of the corner of her lips.
"Sorry, Natsu. I'd love you keep you as a pet, but I'm a serpent-bearer. I can't be a dragon-bearer too."
Lucy withdrew her delicate foot and reached toward him with a glowing palm.
"See you around, Fairy Boy," she whispered devilishly.
Lucy's palm flashed as she delivered the killing spell. Natsu was overwhelmed by the feeling of venom burning through every vein in his body as two dark magic rays shaped like fangs filled his vision.
Author's note: I think the analogy I was going for is all other Fairy Tail girls are battery powered while Lucy runs off a treaty-outlawed nuclear reactor.