OK, so I've never tried to write a supernatural fanfic, because really I only write romances and I'm afraid wincest grosses me out and I don't know I don't really ship destiel, I'm not sure why. Anyway so I'm hoping this will just be a cute little bromance fic set during season 11. Safe to say SPOILERS right up to episode 14

It had been a bad day. A bad week in fact. In fact if Sam was being honest, and slightly self-pitying, it had been a bad life.

Ever since Lucifer had revealed himself, Dean had barely said a word. And Sam had had enough.

He was sat on a cheap, rank smelling bed, absolutely drenched in vampire blood in a room with his brother who was wallowing in regret as he polished his machete

"Are you going to say anything Dean?"

The older man's eyes snapped up.

"What do you want? You did good Sam? Damn I didn't know you needed my approval so damn much."

"No you Jackass! Cas. You are upset about Cas"

"Wow. You sure you aren't still psychic Sammy." Sam couldn't stand the way he said that, he had always objected to the name Sammy, and if anyone else said it he would rip there head off, but he had always secretly – and he would deny it until the day he died – liked it when Dean called him that. But today it wasn't a cute endearment it was spat out, filled with condescension and contempt.

"Dean, this is not your fault. Cas chose this, you can't be responsible for everything."

His brother's Jaw worked and for a brief second Sam considered backing down. He really didn't like the look he was being given, it was too reminiscent of demon Dean.

"You can't ke-"

"No your right it's not my fault it's yours. What the hell were you thinking Sam, Huh? You went into the cage, you followed those stupid visions even though I told you they weren't from god! And now Cas is being possessed by the freaking devil!"

Sam suddenly felt incredibly defensive and while the rational part of him was trying to tell him, that if dean was saying this he was not in his right mind but he didn't care, how many times had dean messed up and Sam never, almost never, put that on him.

"Oh Excuse me if I was trying to get rid of the Darkness."

Dean shot up off the bed.

"Which you let out!"

They were both up.

"To SAVE YOU! You ungrateful little SHIT!"

Practically screaming in each other's faces

"I didn't ask to be saved though did I?"

"We never do. But we always, always save each other! You started it remember! So don't lecture me!"

"That was different! I only put myself on the line!"

"Don't lie to me Dean! If they had asked for the world you would've given it them!"

His brother smirked leaning back, "Bit cocky there." He sighed, "You should've left me! Because you saved" he made little air quotations "me, well great! Except I'm useless I can't help you hunt Amara, because she's got a hold on me so what was the point!"

Sam was shocked, actually properly shocked.

"Is that why you bring me back? To help you hunt." He spat incredulously

"No. That's DIFFERENT! THAT'S my job. God damnit Sam, it isn't yours"

"Yes it is! Yes it damn well is! And even if it wasn't you selfish bastard have you ever considered what that means?"

He only looked confused.

"Dean." Sam was shaking now "For as long as I can remember you were my, everything. When I was little, you were my bestfriend. You played games with me but you were, are more than that. You put me to bed. You cooked my dinner, and made sure I was getting my veg. You taught me about monsters, you protected me. YOU looked after me when I was sick and- "

"I was just being a good brother."

"No you weren't you were being a good brother and Mom, and honestly most of the time Dad. For fucks sake you started coming to my parent teacher meeting when you were fifteen! I never had a house, I know you don't really remember it but you HAD one. I didn't I had you."

"Didn't feel like that when you ran away to Stanford." He grumbled, now slumped back on the bed.

"For gods sake I didn't run. I was going to get a good job. Get us money so we didn't have to keep stealing, I didn't want to see you put in prison or worse dead. I was always going to come back. You guys turned your backs on ME!"

"We thought that's what you wanted."

"No you didn't. Your pride was hurt. But that's not the point." He let out a dry laugh "After Jess… I could have gone back, I didn't stay for revenge I stayed because I needed you, I missed you. And for the past eleven god damn years, you have been all I've known, through bobby and dad, and everyone else we lost. I can't lose you as well. I just can't. Did you ever consider that Dean? Did you not think that maybe I-" his voice broke, "Dean by all accounts I am a much better hunter without you, that's why I need you, because you aren't my partner you are the only thing that pulls me back from the edge."

With that he stormed into the bathroom to go wash off the remains of the vampire blood, leaving Dean shell-shocked on his bed.

He knew they'd always been reliant on one another. He knew that Sam was all he had. And he kind of did raise him. God when that boy got into Stanford, he was so proud, and is still so ashamed that he pulled him back down with him. He could have been so much more. He'd never really considered that Sam thought of him as a – he was not going to call himself a mom- nurturing parent.

God he was such a jackass.

He sighed.

"SAMMY! Hurry up you girl! I need a shower too you know!"

The shower went off and for a full second there was silence. "Jerk."

"Bitch."

Ok so there it is. I dunno? Is it a bit to mushy for the brothers, also dean has the bare minimum of lines because I absolutely love him and I can't bare getting him wrong. I'm a total fangirl over the guy, but then again who isn't, Jensen Ackles is FIT and Dean is… Dean.

ANYway. Please read and review.