A/N: I hate Rebecca C...so...inspired by a PM convo with Demonlord5000.
REALLY SHORT BECAUSE I CAN MAKE IT SHORT. Mostly dialogue too.
"And thus, she'll be missed." The priest said at Rebecca's funeral.
"Um...who was that again?" Stan whispered to Kyle.
"That girl I had a crush on but then became a slut. Remember?"
"No."
"Oh...anyway, she died from burns."
"What burns?"
"Don't you watch the News?"
"Sometimes."
"Well, a stripper club in North Park caught on fire, and Rebecca was in there, so she died because she couldn't get out in time." Kyle explained. Stan looked indifferent.
"Why the hell are we even here? It's just your slutty-ass ex-girlfriend; I don't see why I have to be here." Stan said.
"Yeah, me neither. I'd rather be playing video games."
"What did you even see in her dude?"
"I thought she was smart. It was like the Miley Cyrus transformation happened with her."
"Wait, you know what dude, I think I might remember her," Stan told him. "She was that slut who crashed our dance with her brother. Her brother was so cool! I forgot that he was related to her!"
"All I know is that this is kind of boring. I'd rather be playing video games with Cartman right now, and that's saying a lot."
"That's pretty low."
"A lot better than-"
"Kyle and Stanley! Shush." Sharon interrupted, causing both boys to groan.
"This sucks." Stan said as the dead girl was lowered into the ground.
"Hey, did you assholes know her?" Cartman asked when the funeral was done. They were now all at Cartman's house eating cheesy poofs.
"Uh...nope." Kyle lied. Stan did the same.
"She seemed like a total bitch." Cartman said, and turned on the television.
A/N: This might just be the shortest fic ever made. I liked writing it~