Chapter 1

"Stop that cat!" someone yelled.

Yzma was running as fast as her paws could carry her! She had been imprisoned in the Junior Chipmunks Camp and forced to learn the language of squirrels and other woodland creatures. This was NOT the best pastime for a woman that was trying to rule the empire.

So now you're saying, "Woman? I thought you just told me that this was a cat?" Let's just take a flashback here so things will make a little more sense. Grab the remote, and rewind. Okay let's move on. Well, actually backwards. Well actually… YOU GET THE POINT!

Okay, so Yzma was Emperor Kuzco's main advisor back when she was an old, skinny, and scary-beyond-all-reasoning human. She was supposedly in this bad habit of trying to run the South American empire of the Mayans behind his back. Well one normal day, Kuzco flat out decided that he would no longer allow this. Casually firing his "loyal" advisor, Kuzco did not know that he had just completely changed his life. Naturally, anyone would be upset if they found out they were fired from a job they really enjoyed. When Yzma heard this, she was shocked. She angrily stormed out of the room, after receiving a pink slip, and began plotting her revenge. Fortunately, she had a henchman, Kronk, who had witnessed this sudden turn of events.

Kronk was not the brightest penny in the bank. Muscular and tall, he was always doing something stupid or mixing things up. Poor guy! He really didn't know the difference between right and wrong, so he had two shoulder angels to help him with his decisions. In reality, one was an angel and the other was a demon. They were constantly arguing as only good and evil can.

"Wait a second!" Yzma stopped the show in her old, angry, and partially hoarse voice. Suddenly, an auditorium came into view and surprisingly the past events had been played out on a screen which is now visible from afar. "This is my recount, not Kronk's."

In a calm and clear voice, Kronk responded, "It doesn't always have to be about you. You'd think someone with your past would have learned that."

"My past?" Yzma said astonished. "Nobody knows about my past. This narrator won't get on with it!"

Okay, okay! So you see…

"That's it!" Yzma hollered furiously. "I'm going to give you guys a speedy recount with a little Power Point presentation of my life."

Pulling down a professional looking sheet for slideshows, Yzma began, "Alright! After I got fired, I…"

"Hold it!" Kronk chimed in. "Two things here. One: where did you get a Power Point program? We don't have computers! Two: How do you magically have a prepared slide show of your life and a projector kit to display it on?"

"Kronk!" Yzma exclaimed. "It's a cartoon. Anything can happen."

"Well, actually it's a story, most likely typed on a laptop or other electronic device that won't be invented until years after this takes place and it can't be invented until electricity is harnessed which can't be done until Ben Franklin flies a kite in an electrical storm which can't be done until kites are invented which can't be done until the Chinese invent paper… Or did that already happen? Oh yeah! It's all coming together now."

"Allllright! Are you through?"

"…which can't be done until the country of China is established. I'm done."

"Okay, so Mr. Narrator, would you kindly restate what you said about Kronk not being that smart?"

But I thought you wanted me to stop with Kronk and get on with the recount?

"Ohhhh for heaven's sake! The point is Kronk is not always that dumb! He can be smart!"

Okay, so Kronk is not always that dumb. He can be smart and…

"I just said that you idiot!"

I wasn't finished.

"GRRRRRRR!"

Kronk is smarter in some things that most people wouldn't pay attention to, but unfortunately that causes him to be slightly absentminded. There! Let's get on with this!

Anyway, Yzma decided that she would…

"Hold it! I didn't get this Power Point set up for nothing!"

That's it! Yzma: do your presentation! Kronk: take five and watch Yzma! Audience: sit back, and enjoy the story! And please don't leave us. It gets better. Hit it Yzma.

"Okay!

"So after I got fired, I went down to my secret lab, which is cleverly hidden in the wall and can be accessed by pulling the correct tusk, which functions as a lever, on a strange looking elephant/warthog statue. (We see a picture of the secret lab statue.) I decided to poison Kuzco with something I found (we see a picture of a bottle filled with pink fluid). We had a fake celebration dinner. (A picture of a Mayan dinner table that is full of food is shown.) Kronk got the poison mixed up and accidentally turned Kuzco into a llama. (The picture of the unconscious llama is shown.) I asked Kronk to dispose of the body and he didn't quite get rid of it. The body was in a bag and landed on the back of a peasant's cart. By the way, the peasant's name is Pacha. You might need that later. The peasant left town. (A picture of Pacha walking across the bridge is seen.) Kronk lied to me about Kuzco being dead and as soon as I found out we both went out to get them. (A picture of Kronk carrying Yzma in the backpack tent is shown.) We chased Pacha and the llama back to the palace where I was turned into a cat towards the end of an epic battle over my chemistry set. (A picture of Yzma's potion collection is shown.) To my displeasure, Kuzco drank my human potion and was turned back into his emperor self and I was sent with Kronk to the Junior Chipmunk Camp which teaches children to respect woodland creatures. (A picture of Yzma the cat holding an acorn is shown.) That's all. (A picture of Yzma in a bikini desperately trying to tan on the beach pops up.) AHHHHHHHH! KROOOOOOONNNKKK!"

"It wasn't me! Kronk yelled defensively, "I don't know how to use a computer!"

"Oh well," Yzma said regretfully, "I knew I should have deleted those pictures anyway."

"By the way, Yzma, before we move on, how are you a human right now?"

"Well, if we can ever get this story going, you'll find out."

"Let's go narrator!" Kronk called.

I'm ready when you guys are!

Yzma demanded, "Commence story! Pull the lever, Kronk!"

Kronk leaned to the right and pulled the armrest of his seat at an upward angle. As soon as he did this, the comical sound of a spring releasing was heard. Yzma was suddenly thrown out of her chair and out a door with a sign above reading "EXIT." Kronk chuckled.

"WRONNNNNNNNNNG LEVERRRRRRR!" Yzma yelled as she sailed through the air. Returning to the room in an aggravated mood and with small red tickets reading "ADMIT ONE" all over her, she complained, "Why do we even have that lever?" She stormed over to Kronk's chair, and yanked the left armrest and the story immediately began.