There were days Mello wanted to sit and not dance, to wrap himself in books and silence, like he used to around Near. But those days were rare and far between. The rest could be called a test- to see if he could still dance. If he could control the minds and whims of the men populating the shadowy world in which he now lived. (not to say he missed the sunbathed world that had... No. He didn't miss it and thus refused to think of it, or him)
Now, in this new world of shadows and sold- well, sold every things really. From ones soul to ones money to ones body, anything was up for sale here.
Including Mello.
He didn't mind the dance, not at all. His looks and charm gave him power that otherwise would be harder to come by. With his hair and face, he could seduce any man in the underworld, and then bend said man to his will. The dance was actually rather fun.
It was through said dance he found the perfect candidate for his scheme. Once he'd pinpointed the man, it was easy to tempt him into Mello's bed, easy to persuade him that Mello would do anything for him- whether out of love, affection, or lust, Mello let him decide.
He didn't care a thing for the man, and would frankly rejoice if he were to suddenly fall over dead. However, for the time, he needed him for his plans. After inserting himself into the other's confidence, he started letting his genius show, little by little, until the man- Rod, he believed- needed him to do anything. He'd reduced the man to a lapdog, eating out of his hand.
Some nights he would lock himself in the bathroom and cry hot tears. And they weren't because the men whose beds he laid in weren't Nears. Oh no, he didn't even think of that fact. He didn't even think about the fact Near might have a bed to lie in. Nope. He didn't. He refused to let himself think of Near at all.
Gladly would he sell out his kisses and his affections- they meant nothing to him- if it meant his goal could be reached. To the day he maintained his goal was to beat Near, to win at any cost.
It wasn't.
At least, not in the way it had been.
Now he wanted to win because it meant, he would mean something to Near. Not to humiliate the boy or surpass him, no. He wanted nothing more than to be on equal footing with the other boy, so they could move as equals. To do something both L and Near could be proud of.
Somewhere along the way he'd lost any pride they could take in him. He forgot what the word even meant. Now it was to beat Near so that he could look at the other and know... and know they were equal, and thus... able to love maybe.
Until that day he would tumble into any bed- if only to keep from thinking about silvery hair- and beat Kira. And if not this time, then the next case he would win, proving himself. Dieing wasn't an option. It wasn't even thought about for a second. Someday... Someday Near...
Mello wouldn't dance anymore except with one person. the one who the whole dance was for. The more outrageous he danced, the more likely the other would see him.
Until then...
QQQ
Near stood in the yard of the orphanage, looking up at the gray sky as it poured down rain. On him, it should be added.
Really, he didn't mind.
He didn't even care for that matter.
Mello, however, was a slightly different matter. He shouldn't have cared either- after all, if Near got sick by standing in the rain, it meant for a while he would be first while the other boy was recovering. A cheap victory, and an unfair one, but at that point the blond boy really didn't care much. Any victory would do. However, the sight of his rival and one-sided archenemy standing in the rain- alone, with no one else- really bothered him.
Actually, the fact that Near was always alone, really bothered him. Yes, he hated the boy, yes he wanted nothing more than to beat him but... what else did Near have, besides the fact he was the best? Without that, if he was second, what did he have?
He had no friends, no followers, the adults all pitied him for it.
Mello suddenly wanted to be friends with the silent boy.
And that really worried him.
But frankly, everyone deserved a friend, right? Even someone as disgustingly smart as Near.
He hated seeing other people suffer. The one thing Mello hated besides possibly Near- wow, that was contradictory- was seeing other people alone and or in pain.
Near fit both bills perfectly.
Besides which, maybe he didn't truly hate Near. He did need him after all. Without said Near, he would have no drive, no ambition. Beating him would bring victory, yes, but it would be hollow, he realized.
It would also mean losing Near, in a strange round about way.
Never leave me, Near, he thought suddenly. I don't want you to ever leave me. So don't. And that means not letting me win.
He didn't hate Near.
He didn't.
Well, his world had just turned upside down abruptly.
Grinding his teeth in frustration, Mello ventured out into the rain- he hated getting wet.
Near glanced over at him, innocent, child-like face startled. "Yes, Mello?"
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mello ground out.
"..." Near stared in blank confusion. "I'm... standing." he answered finally.
"IN THE GODDAMN RAIN!" Mello thundered suddenly.
"Well... yes."
Rolling his eyes, Mello grabbed the startled Near's arm and dragged him- somewhat forcefully- out of the downpour into the safe shelter of a tree. "You'll get sick," he offered in way of explanation. Near simply blinked.
"Wouldn't that make you happy?"
"Shut up," the blond snarled- he didn't want to admit to anyone else what he just realized, especially not Near..
Near shrugged and complied, though he still stared at the other.
They sat that way for a while, the two of them, one white and uncaring, the other yellow and black, warmth and passion, under that tree. Near sitting on his knees, legs curled up under him, Mello sprawled out as far as his lithe form would go without actually being horizontal.
"Look," Mello muttered after a while. "Don't think I like you or anything stupid like that. I don't." Lair. "It's just... no one deserves to be all alone, ok? And you always are. This in no way means I'm not going to beat you- because I will, just later- it just means you need a friend... ok?"
"So... you're saying you're my... friend-" the word seemed unfamiliar in Near's mouth-"Yet you don't like me and still want to beat me?"
Mello blushed at the other's words. It sounded much stupider when someone else- especially if that someone was named Near- said it.
"I..."
"Mello," Near leaned close to the other. "You don't hate me, do you?" Looks like the other had realized what he had anyway, even with him trying to hide it.
"YES I DO!" The other exploded.
"Then you wouldn't care if I got sick or was alone."
"No one-"
Rolling his eyes, Near cut him off by softly kissing the blond boy. "Whatever."
Then he rose and walked away into the slight mist that remained after the rainfall, leaving a shocked Mello staring after him.
MELLO NEAR! Obsessive? Me? NEVER. During the second part I kept using "really" over and over and over... so I had to go back and switch in soem other words, like truly and frankly and actually.