AN: Yo, peeps! Since the brother fic (or rival fic, if you will), "Leon Gets…" was so popular, I decided to make a Cloud Gets…"! So here it is, as promised! Originally, this was gonna be up on the Fourth of July as a sort of gift for all my readers, but since I freak out whenever /I set a deadline for myself, it didn't happen. But hey! Better later than never, right? And this chapter is dedicated to my friend ForbiddenKHfan216 as a little going away present.
Disclaimer: Okay, if I owned anything, do you actually think I would be writing FANfiction?
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Cloud Gets…A Bodyguard!
Leon was sitting in the living room, reading the daily paper quietly. 'Was' being the key word. The quiet was broken when a certain spiky blond ran in the house, slamming the door behind him, also making sure to lock it, before diving behind the couch. Leon blinked before sighing.
"Do I even want to know?" he asked. Cloud peeked up from his spot behind the couch.
"I'm hiding." he said quietly. Leon cocked his eyebrow slightly.
"From what?" the brunet asked. The blond looked around carefully, as if to make sure whatever he was hiding from wasn't listening, before replying.
"Tifa." Cloud said, barely above a hoarse whisper, making Leon almost miss what he had said.
"Tifa." Leon repeated in a tone that said, 'Oh, my God, you are such a moron.' Cloud nodded rapidly before ducking his had back behind the couch. Leon stood up and walked over to the couch, pulling Cloud up by his collar.
"Should I ask why you're hiding from Tifa?" he asked.
"She scares me." Cloud squeaked. Yes, squeaked. Leon resisted the urge to face-palm or, better yet, slap Cloud.
"Maybe I should make a list of all the things that scare you…" the scarred man muttered. Cloud expression of fear quickly left his face and was replaced by one of anger.
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a scowled. Leon rolled his eyes.
"Let's see here…Giving in to the darkness, commitment, the dentist, Tifa, admitting I'm better than you…" he listed.
"Okay, that last one isn't even a fear! That's your stupid delusion of grandeur!" Cloud shouted.
"Oh, my God, he knows what grandeur means." Leon said in mock shock. Cloud growled.
"Y'know, I should slap you, but I'm not going to, because I'm bigger than that." the blond said. Leon shrugged.
"Alright then. I'll do it for you." he said. Before Cloud could question what he meant by that, Leon slapped Cloud upside his head. The blond's hand instinctively flew up to the spot on his head where Leon had hit.
"Okay, that's it! I'm not gonna take this! See ya!" Cloud shouted before angrily unbolting the door and stalking out, closing it with a loud 'SLAM!'. Leon sighed.
"…3…2…1." he counted off under his breath. By the time he hit one, Cloud was back inside the house, panting heavily with a look of panic on his face.
"You remembered Tifa's out there?" Leon questioned with a small smirk playing on his face. Cloud nodded as his breathing pattern returned to normal.
"So what? You're just gonna hide in the house for the rest of your life?" Leon asked.
"Not the rest of my life! …Just until Tifa leaves." Cloud corrected. Leon rolled his eyes slightly.
"Tifa lives in Radiant Garden, too, genius. Chances are, she's not leaving anytime soon." the brunet said. Cloud seemed to slip back into his state of panic before grinning widely.
"I got it!" he shouted. Leon looked at him in confusion.
"Got…what exactly?" he asked.
"An idea! All I need is a bodyguard that'll hide me from Tifa!" the blond shouted. Leon scoffed.
"Yeah, a bodyguard. Sure. Where are you gonna find a sucker dumb enough to do that?" he asked. Cloud smirked.
"I'm looking at him." he said. Leon's eyes widened slightly.
"Okay, 1: I'm not dumb, ands 2: No way in hell." he said. Cloud looked at the ceiling and put his hand on his chin, as if thinking.
"Well, actually…you have to." he said. Leon glared at him.
"I don't have to do anything." he said. Cloud grinned.
"Yeah, you do. Because, if I'm remembering correctly, when I tutored you in math back in eighth grade, you said, and I quote, 'Thanks, man. I owe you one.'" the spiky blond said.
"I never said that!" Leon said. Cloud nodded.
"Yeah, you did. Because I also remember asking to get that in writing. Which you gave me. Wait here." he explained before walking up the steps. A few minutes later, Cloud returned, holding a crumpled up and slightly torn piece of paper. He handed it to Leon, who read it.
'I, Squall Leonhart, hereby agree to owe Cloud Strife one favor which he may collect in any amount of time. Failure to comply with this statement will result in a torture of Cloud Strife's choosing.'
"You've got to be kidding me." Leon said in disbelief. Cloud shook his head.
"Nope. I made sure to keep that close all these years in case a problem like this came up. And it has, so you've got to help me unless you want to go through a torture of my choosing. And I think streaking while wearing clown make-up would be fitting for breaking a promise like this." he said with a mischievous grin. Leon, after a moment, sighed.
"…Fine…stupid contract…"
--
Leon walked down the streets of Radiant Garden with Cloud following close behind. It had been an hour-and-a-half since Leon agreed to serve as Cloud's bodyguard, and, so far, it was turning out to be hell. As a bodyguard, Leon was under the command of Cloud, meaning he had to go wherever Cloud went, lest he wanted to run through the streets of Radiant Garden with no clothes on and brightly colored makeup adorning his face.
"I hope you know I hate you." Leon growled irritably.
"You should hate yourself for ever agreeing to owe me one." Cloud replied smugly with a grin. Leon sighed to himself.
That's probably because I was thinking you meant something smaller like doing you science homework for a month or something along those lines…, the brunet thought, remembering how in the past, Cloud would hopelessly struggle with his science homework, night after night. It was a wonder Cloud passed that class without a tutor.
No…he probably did have a tutor. The all-knowing master source otherwise know as the Internet., Leon thought, but was broken out of his reminiscing when Cloud gave a sharp yelp.
"What?" Leon asked, even though he had already guessed the answer.
"Tifa!" the blond yelped, ducking into a nearby alley.
"Hey, Leon!" he heard the mentioned woman call out to his bodyguard. He pressed himself up closer to the alley wall to keep himself from being caught.
"Tifa. What's wrong?" he heard Leon address her.
"Have you seen Cloud around here anywhere?" Cloud bit his lip nervously.
Why the hell does she always want to know where I am? Why is it never Aerith? Or Cid?!, the blond asked in his head.
"Strife? No, thankfully…" Leon said. At first he felt anger grow inside of him at that statement, Cloud then realized Leon was trying to be inconspicuous.
Huh. Leonhart's better at this than I thought. It's like he's had practice or something., he thought. He was dragged out of the safe haven known as his mind when the wall he was leaning up against shook slightly.
"Dang it! Why does he keep running from me?!" he heard Tifa ask angrily and then figured that the rumble he felt was Tifa's fist connecting with the building's wall. Cloud wanted to say, 'Cuz you're scary!' but he stopped himself, knowing that would blow his cover.
"Maybe he's just a coward." Leon commented. Cloud grit his teeth angrily, figuring that Leon was enjoying this conversation.
"Yeah, well, I'm gonna keep looking for him. Bye, Leon!" Tifa said and Cloud heard running footsteps that faded in the distance.
"You can come out now. The big, bad Tifa's gone." Leon said and when Cloud walked out of the alleyway, he saw the brunet leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed.
"'Maybe he's just a coward'?!" the blond asked angrily.
"Isn't that why you got me to do this? Because you're scared of Tifa?" Leon asked with his eyebrow cocked. Cloud was about to give an angry reply, before realizing that Leon was right. That was why he got Leon as his bodyguard. He glared at the scarred man.
"Shut up and come on." Cloud said before walking off down the street with his hands in his pockets.
--
"I don't really see why I have to guard the bathroom door."
The statement came from Leon as he sat on the hallway floor, right next to the bathroom door. Inside the bathroom was Cloud, taking his shower. The brunet drummed his fingers on the wall as he leaned the back of his head up against the wall.
"Hey, you don't know! Tifa could try sneaking in the window!" Cloud called back over the sound of running water.
"Okay, I know you think Tifa's 'scary', but she's not some freaky psycho stalker."
"Then why's she always looking for me?!"
"Because you're always running from her!"
"And I wouldn't, if she wasn't always stalking me!"
Leon sighed, figuring that the conversation was going to go nowhere. Finding nothing better to do, he pulled the 'contract' from when he and Cloud were kids from his pocket. He had been holding onto it since he agreed to be Cloud's bodyguard. Reviewing it for a loophole for what seemed to be the millionth time, he noticed something he hadn't realized before. Just as his eyes narrowed on the slip of paper, Cloud walked out of the bathroom with a towel tied around his waist.
"C'mon, Leonhart. I already told you there's no loopholes in that written statement." the blond said, giving an annoyed sigh. Leon stood up, holding the paper angrily.
"This isn't even my handwriting!" he shouted. Cloud's eyes widened.
"Wh-what are you talking about? Of course it is!" the blond protested. Leon shook his head.
"No, it isn't! I never wrote like this, not even back in eighth grade!" he said, shoving the sheet of paper in Cloud's chest.
"You…you're delusional!" Cloud said.
"No, I'm not! You forged this!" Leon told him. Cloud paused for a moment.
"Okay, it depends what you mean by 'forged'." the blond replied. Leon glared at him.
"I'm outta here." the brunet said before walking away. Cloud started to let panic overtake him.
"Leonhart, wait! You can't stop being my bodyguard yet! What about Tifa?!"
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AN: So there you go. "Cloud Gets…" chapter one. As in "Leon Gets…", ideas are accepted. Just send 'em in in your review!
Next Chapter: Cloud gets attacked!
A certain evil furball comes back…with a vengeance! And Cloud's the target! (all you "Leon Gets…" fans know who I'm talking about!)
R&R!!!