Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Summary:
In which Naruto unconsciously opened a forbidden scroll one day, and soon, found himself in the arms of his beloved and well… in the arms of his... rival.
Oh! The Fate of the Unfortunate Little One
By: Snotty Chim-Chim
Tick. Tick.
Tick. Tick.
KRINGGGGGG!
'Argh!'
A small, blonde boy groaned. He reached out and he hit the alarm clock shut. He, then, opened one eye and looked at the offending clock. 5:30 am. Another groan was heard.
'Tell me, why did that stupid alarm clock rang in this ungodly hour?'
Little did he know that he set his alarm clock last night to wake him at the so-called ungodly hour just so he could prepare his little comeback to his ever-annoying rival.
And he rolled over only to be consumed by sleep again. Oh, the teenagers nowadays.
But then, his idiotic little mind seemed to register that he needed to wake up early for his little comeback. And he bolted upright. He looked at the clock again. 5:35 am. He grinned with a mischievous smile. How unnerving.
He slowly stood up from his comfy bed and walked across his dingy place heading for the bathroom.
'Let's see who's going to have that triumphant smirk now, you asshole.' he thought while he prepared his bath.
After taking a splendid yet time-consuming bath, he stepped out of the bathroom and look at his clock again. 6:15 am.
Blink. Blink.
6:15 am.
"NANI!" he screamed at the top of his voice.
He walked over to his clock with such killing intent that one would start to think it was his rival he's looking at.
He pounds it into pieces.
Goodbye, innocent and dutiful alarm clock.
After he saw what little remnants of his alarm clock were left, he decided it's time to get going.
He randomly picked a scroll on one of his shelves, dimly aware that what he picked was the forbidden scroll he stole on the Hokage's office the other day. He proceeded to his kitchen and started to cook his all-time favorite food – ramen.
He started singing while waiting for the ramen to be cooked.
"Sun is up
I've got so many things to do
But it's alright (It's okay!)
I have to taste it
It's gonna be a good day (Be a good day!)
Wake up! (Wake up!)
It's a beautiful morning
Get up! (Get up!)
Cheer the sunshine near ya
Wake up! (Wake up!)
It's just beautiful"
After waiting for three long years… err… minutes, he sat down and practically shoved all the ramen in his awaiting and hungry mouth; all the while trying to open the forbidden scroll. Then, glancing at the opened scroll before him, his eyes widened.
Poof.
Blink. Blink.
A smaller boy with blonde hair replaced the already small boy on the table. He looked frantically down at his body which is, to say the least, small. Way smaller. And he blinked some more.
Blink. Blink.
"Nani!" he yelled hysterically.
Panic. Panic.
He looked at the scroll again; it reads "Forbidden Scroll: A Scroll for Some Wicked Joke".
Oh no.
He's dead. Really dead.
He can't go to Tsunade-sama right now. Or he'll definitely meet his doom there.
'Isn't this enough for a punishment already?' he thought, thinking that going to the Hokage's office is such a bad idea considering the facts that he stole the scroll and it's way to early to bother the Hokage.
And he suddenly remembered his little comeback on Sasuke. And with that came their meeting at the bridge.
Oh no.
He's doomed!
"How am I supposed to tell them of my predicament? Kakashi-sensei will just reprimand me. So as Sakura-chan. And stupid Sasuke-teme wouldn't care at all!"
And the biggest question is:
"How am I supposed to get there? These stubby little feet of mine aren't enough for me to go to the bridge. I'd just tire myself out."
'Argh! This is annoying!'
After looking at himself in the mirror, he made up his mind. He's going to see his Sakura-chan no matter what.
Unbeknownst to him, it will be his BIGGEST mistake ever.
He changed into a smaller outfit, just suited for his body and heads for the bridge.
As he walks towards the bridge, he got this 'scary' looks from the villagers. It's as if they want to eat him alive.
Yes. You read right.
Eat him alive.
Eat the cute, little boy alive.
Oh. What a severe punishment for a cute, little boy.
Wait.
Cute?
You've got to be kidding, right?
And he walks faster towards the bridge. With his small body, it looks like he's running. But he's actually walking. And at last, he arrived at the bridge panting yet unharmed.
'Arigatou, Kami-sama! Arigatou for saving me from those murderous villagers!'
"Kawaii!"
A squeal from a certain pink-haired girl snapped him out of his stupid thoughts. He turned around and the sight of Sakura greeted him. Well, Sakura and his ever-annoying rival.
"Look, Sasuke-kun! He's so cute!" Sakura said.
'Oh my dear Sakura, it took you that long to realize that certain and obvious fact?' the chibi Naruto thought.
Sakura approached the 'kid', oblivious to the fact that it is Naruto.
She pinched his cheek.
And pinched more.
And she decided that pinching isn't enough. So she hugged him. Real hard.
It squeezed whatever little air his body holds.
'Ouch. It hurts, Sakura-chan!'
Some of his hurt had somehow made its way across his face for Sakura stopped pinching and hugging him to death.
"Ooops! Sorry!" she apologized still holding the boy in her arms.
'This is heaven.' Naruto thought.
"Let me hold him, Sakura." Sasuke said.
'No! Don't hand me over to that bastard! I'd die with his mere touch!'
"Alright." And she hand Naruto over to Sasuke.
As Sasuke took hold of him, he shouted:
"Let go of me, you bastard!"
Least to say, they were shocked. Shocked beyond their imagination.
'How could this young child know such swearword?' Sakura thought.
'Oh no! How stupid!' Naruto thought.
"Doesn't he look and sound familiar, Sakura?" Sasuke suddenly said.
Naruto glanced at Sakura.
'Kami-sama, heed my plea! Don't let Sakura know!'
Lo and behold, Kami-sama did heed his plea.
"Huh? What do you mean, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.
And they call her the brightest shinobi of their batch.
"Doesn't he look like and sound like Naruto?" Sasuke snapped exasperated.
'Trust Sakura to be so dense. I'm starting to get annoyed.' Sasuke thought.
"Oh… yeah… he does look like Naruto…" Sakura started.
"I said, LET GO OF ME!" Naruto shouted, thinking of a way to distract them.
And Sasuke suddenly let go. Uhuh. He let go and Naruto practically hit the solid ground hard. Sasuke was holding him at least four feet above the ground.
Naruto glared at Sasuke.
"I said, let me go. Not DROP ME, YOU BASTARD!" Naruto screamed.
"Well, I did let you go. Didn't I?" Sasuke nonchalantly said.
'Argh! You'd think he's kind and all… But then again, this is SASUKE we're talking about. Clearly, the word 'kind' is not in his vocabulary.' Naruto thought.
"Sasuke-kun, don't be so harsh on him. He's a child, after all." Sakura reprimanded Sasuke softly, and then added, "Are you alright?"
Sasuke is fuming while Naruto looks like he's in heaven.
Well, he will be if he's not careful enough. No one messes with an Uchiha, after all.
"I'm fine, neechan!" Naruto piped up.
As Sakura picked him up, a soft 'Poof' was heard.
"Yo!" Kakashi said.
No reaction.
He, then, scratched his head. 'What's the matter with these students of mine? They didn't scream at me for being late.' He looked at them. And something caught his interest.
"Hey Sakura, is he your and Sasuke's baby?" he said.
"NANI?" Naruto and Sakura shouted in unison. Sasuke's eyes are as big as saucers.
'I know I love Sasuke-kun and it'd be great to have him as my husband… but still… I'm too young for that.' Sakura thought, blushing.
"Just kidding. I just wanted to get your attention because you haven't started screaming at me for being late." He explained. And he looked around. And he looked around some more. "Where's Naruto?"
"We don't know where the dobe is, Kakashi-sensei. He didn't show up for training. Instead, we have this freaky child to take care of." Sasuke stated.
"I'm not freaky, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto shouted. All three of them looked at Naruto incredulously.
It's just natural because no one dare calls Sasuke a teme except for Naruto. And this little kid called him that.
"Amazing! This little kid sure knows you, Sasuke!" Kakashi joked and he received a glare from the Uchiha.
"Eh? Don't speak like that to Sasuke-kun!" Sakura came to Sasuke's aid at once. She may like the child but no one will insult HER Sasuke-kun without her telling them off.
"Gomen ne, Sakura-chan." Naruto said absent-mindedly.
"He sounds like Naruto." Kakashi pointed out the obvious. "Are you, by any chance, related to my deceased student?"
"Deceased? DECEASED!" Naruto shrieked.
"Uh… actually no."
"Then why did you say I'm dead? Huh?"
"I said Naruto, not you."
"But I a-" his eyes are as round as saucers.
"But you are what?" asked Sasuke.
"But… but… I…" Naruto stuttered.
"But you ARE Naruto." Sasuke finished for him.
"NO!" Naruto denied.
Oh. Denial. Denial.
"Yes you are, dobe. No point hiding it. You're looks and you're clothing is screaming to the whole world, or rather to me, that you're Naruto." Sasuke said.
Sakura looked at the child in her hands. Then she dropped him on the ground, as if touching him burned her delicate hands. And needless to say, Naruto's butt hit the solid ground.
"Ouch! What did you do that for, eh, Sakura-chan?" Naruto complained.
"Naruto, what did you do to yourself?" Kakashi asked Naruto sternly.
"Nothing, Kakashi-sensei! I just met an old woman down the street while I was walking and she put a spell on me and then 'poof'. And then here I was, turned into an innocent child." Naruto lied.
"Kakashi-sensei can lie better than you, baka!" Sakura said.
"But I am telling the truth!" Naruto said defensively.
"Where the hell did you get a word such as spell? Huh? You really are a dobe." Sasuke said.
"Damn you, Uchiha!"
"Training's cancelled for today. We're going to see the Hokage." Kakashi said.
"No! Sakura-chan! Help me!" Naruto said, tears cascading down his blue eyes.
"We need to get you back in your normal form, Naruto." Sakura said.
"But… but…"
"But what?" Sakura asked.
"But Tsunade-sama's going to punish you. Right, dobe?" Sasuke answered for Naruto.
"Why will Tsunade-sama punish Naruto for something that's not his fault?" Sakura asked, getting confused.
"Because he stole a scroll from Tsunade-sama's office."
"…"
"How did you know, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto asked.
"So, you're telling us that what Sasuke said is true?" Kakashi said.
"No!"
"Yes, it is. And you know it." Sasuke said.
"Well, then, kindly explain to me how the hell did you know." Naruto countered.
"I'm merely guessing." Sasuke smirked.
O.O
"Why you ASSHOLE!"
Another smirk.
"You needn't swear, Naruto. Swearing is bad esp. for a child like you." Sasuke said, pissing Naruto off.
"Argh! You'll pay for this, TEME!" Naruto said while turning his head towards his sensei.
"Kakashi-sensei, I'll explain."
"You'll do the explaining in the Hokage's chamber." Kakashi said simply.
They started walking towards the direction of the Hokage's office. Naruto followed their retreating backs.
"What? You stole a scroll from my office?" Tsunade asked, seething.
"Hai." Naruto said guiltily.
"Well, good. I just hope you learned your lesson." Tsunade said.
"Hai."
"And now, let's wait for two weeks for the jutsu to wear off."
"Two weeks?"
"Yup. Two whole weeks."
"But can't you do anything?"
"No, I can't. And even if I can, I won't. That will serve as your lesson for stealing scrolls. I specially created that scroll to teach you a lesson."
"You mean, you did this on purpose!"
"Yup."
"How did you know then that I will steal something from your office? A scroll nonetheless." Naruto asked.
"Oh. Let's just say I have the ability to foresee things."
Naruto, together with the rest of team 7, sweat dropped.
"What? I am not lying."
They knew better than to argue. And they let it be.
"Anyway, now that you're a child again, I daresay you need someone to look after you for two whole weeks." Tsunade said.
"Sakura-chan will take care of me." Naruto declared confidently.
"Really?" Tsunade inquired, looking at Sakura.
Sakura got the meaning of Tsunade's looks. It says: 'Say no. I'll let Sasuke-kun take care of him.'
"No, Tsunade-sama. I refuse." Sakura said.
"What! But Sakura-chan, aren't I cute enough for you? You said so earlier!"
"Kakashi?" Tsunade inquired. Tsunade then looks at Kakashi meaningfully. 'Say no. I'll let Sasuke-kun take care of him.'
"Ooppss. Sorry, Tsunade-sama but I am busy at the moment." Kakashi answered, amused.
"Busy reading your perverted books!" Naruto said.
"How did you know?"
"Argh!"
Tsunade looks expectantly at Sasuke. "Will you?"
"No."
"I declare it as a mission."
"No."
"You can't refuse direct orders from the Hokage."
Bingo.
"Fine."
"Nani? Why did you agree, Sasuke-teme? You're supposed to say 'No' all the time!" Naruto said.
"I know my limitations, dobe." Sasuke said.
"Oh really? Since when?" Naruto retorted.
"…"
"That settles it then. I guess you need to go home already, it's getting late. Bring him to you house, Sasuke." Tsunade said, clearly pleased with herself.
"Late? It's only noon! And are you insane? Who said I want to stay in his house?" Naruto said.
"Well, it's getting late for lunch." Tsunade said.
"I don't want to stay in a dingy place, dobe, a pigsty if I may say so." Sasuke said.
Grumble. Grumble.
"Come on, dobe."
"Don't call me a dobe, teme!"
"Gambatte ne, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said.
"Gambatte, Sasuke." Tsunade and Kakashi said in unison.
"Hn." He replied and grabbed, yes grabbed Naruto's small hand.
"Ouch! Is this the proper way of treating the future Hokage? And I want ramen for my lunch!"
"No. We'll have onigiri for lunch." Sasuke answered.
"I demand ramen!"
"And I refuse."
And then they leave, leaving a sweat dropping Tsunade, Kakashi and Sakura behind.
"Do you think they'll be alright?" Sakura asked concernedly.
"Yup. Don't worry."
"Eat."
"No."
"Damn it, dobe! I said eat!" Veins are starting to appear on Sasuke's fair forehead.
"No."
"You're starting to act like a child."
"I AM a child."
"…"
"Besides, are you deaf? I said I want ramen, Sasuke-teme!"
"I said we'll eat onigiri, dobe."
"I said I want to eat ramen. R-A-M-E-N."
"And I said we'll eat onigiri."
"Don't you know the word ramen? Or hasn't your mother taught you what that simple word means?"
And that's it. The final straw. Meet your doom, Naruto.
Naruto could feel the wrath coming from Sasuke. No. He could almost taste it.
Suddenly, Sasuke shoved the whole onigiri in Naruto's mouth. And Naruto choked.
"What do you think you're doing? I'll report you to Tsunade-baba!"
"What do you think dobe? Feeding you, of course." Sasuke calmly replied.
"Why you! ASSHOLE!"
Sasuke put another onigiri in Naruto's mouth.
"Sa.. cough.. su… cough.. ke cough teme!"
"You're bluer than blue, dobe. Looks like you're dying." Sasuke stated.
"I cough will cough not cough rest cough until I get my revenge!" Naruto said, swallowing the onigiri with great difficulty.
Sounds like Sasuke, right?
And out of the blue:
"Where will I sleep, Sasuke-teme?"
"In the bathroom" was Sasuke's curt reply.
"What the hell?"
"It looks far cleaner than your pigsty apartment anyway."
"Take that back, Uchiha!"
"…"
And their ranting continues as the night goes on.
Author's Note:
What do you think?
musk-mallow requested for the third part, so here it is, the sequel to My Sassy Boy (a sequel to Disaster Strikes!). And I hope this will cheer AnnaChan up.
Review, review and review!
Ja ne, minna-san!