"I heard the strangest rumour today. Apparently, the Captain and First Officer almost came to blows." Said Janeway, as she poured more coffee for the two of them.

"Mutiny? "Inquired Chakotay, feigning innocence

"First officer walked the plank. So I heard." She replied with a smile

"I don't believe a word of it."

"Me neither." She looked up at stared into his eyes, they had come so close to ruining their friendship and their working relationship today, and even though she would never admit it, the fact scared her half to hell. She had no idea what she would do if that had happened, he was the only one on the ship that she could talk to, that she could relax with. He picked up on her angst and unresolved feelings about the 'voyager conspiracies' that Seven had tried so hard to weave from out of context information

"Seven was malfunctioning. We don't have that excuse." He said, cutting straight to the core of her issues, as always.

"You're right. We've been through too much to stop trusting each other now and plus if I lost you who knows what would happen to the ship." She smiled and sat down.

"Oh I'm sure you could have managed without me, I doubt that I could get Voyager home without you tho."

"Well, that's where you are wrong," she sighed, he could tell that their light hearted banter was starting to take a more serious turn, "Captain Janeway could run this ship without you, Captain Janeway could get all the way back home without you, but Kathryn, I doubt she would survive three days out here or back home." There was a long pause while Janeway realised what she said and tried to turn it into a joke, she never had the chance.

"I didn't know that was how you felt about me." He replied, he did know of course but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to put her in a difficult situation, her Star Fleet principles or her love for her First Officer. He wouldn't allow her to anguish over a decision like that; she would only come to hate them both. "When did this start?" he asked, innocently enough, she refused to meet his eyes

"New Earth." She whispered barely loud enough to hear, "everything we had there, it was hard to say goodbye to. I still have dreams where I'm back there with you and our home and life is just… not difficult." Her eyes started to water at the memories, he leaned across the table and put his hand over hers.

"But that was another place another time and another life I will never have, at least not while we are stuck out here. Not while I have to take the responsibility for 150 peoples' lives." She continued.

He read between the lines and smiled at her.

"Well than after you get us home I'll have to make sure you get the life that you want with the person that you want" she sensed his hesitation and knew exactly what to say to abet his fears of her moving onto another person.

"You, Me and all of Earth to explore and rediscover; Maybe we will even find a place like new earth."

Both stared longingly into each other's eyes, she wanted to say the words and so did he, but they both knew that they couldn't. There was too much at stake if it got complicated, too much to lose if it didn't. Neither could compromise their command positions for the other, and if that meant that they had to pretend that they didn't love each other, that was just the way it had to be.

He was first to speak

"One night, Kathryn. Just give me one night." His words were soft and full of unmasked regret and longing. She was going to say no but her voice wouldn't work. For her this was a big decision, she had to think about it and try to ignore the voice in her heart screaming 'Yes, say YES!'. Try as she might she just couldn't ignore it, slowly she nodded her head, still not trusting her voice to work. He moved over to her and pulled her up from her chair. He placed her arms around his neck and his went to circle her waist. They leaned into each other and pressed their lips together.

The kiss was not a promise, it wasn't an excuse, it was a reason. It was a reason to stay, a reason to hold and above all it was a reason to wait. Their kiss slowly morphed from one of love to one of intense passion. Both of them knew what was to come next and although in their heads they were frightened they both realised that they weren't frightened of showing each other how much they loved the other, but rather what would happen the next morning. Using his strong arms Chakotay picked Kathryn up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, neither braking contact with the others lips. He walked them into the bed room and laid her gently on his bed.

They spent the night naked and wrapped in each other's embrace. Neither had known sex like that, because it wasn't sex for them it was just the beginning of the real journey to the home they had found in each other's arms. They both slept peacefully not thinking about what they would wake up to, not thinking that this might have repercussions, but just thinking of all the love they felt for each other and wouldn't express. Neither could mistake the love anymore but they both knew that for the sake of the crew and the ship they had o repress it, but that was morning conversation.

Kathryn had never slept so well in all the time she had been aboard Voyager. She woke up in a strange place and felt a warm body tangled up with hers, the whole night came rushing back and she let a tear of joy run down her face. She looked over to the clock on his bedside and saw that it read 0400 hours, it was time for her to leave. Slowly and carefully she disentangled herself from the warm and secure comfort of his arms. He woke as she moved but didn't let her notice, his heart would be able to stand the conversation that would happen if she knew that he was awake. He cracked his eyes open a little to watch her naked form moving around his bedroom trying to find her clothes from the previous day. He couldn't help but marvel in her beauty for she was the single most beautiful woman he had ever encountered.

Once she was dressed he saw her move for his door, she hesitated in the doorway and looked lovingly back at him with tears in her eyes.

"Good bye, my love." She said so softly he almost didn't catch it. He knew that he should reply but he just couldn't, he couldn't do that to her. She said the words because she meant them but couldn't say them to his face, and he had to respect that. So instead of telling her that he loved her he cried until he had to get out of bed to be on the bridge.

As soon as Kathryn had checked the corridors of being clear of personnel she left his quarters and almost ran the way to sickbay. Her boosters weren't up to date so she had to get the morning after pill. Pregnancy was not an option for the captain of a star ship, whether she be in the alpha quadrant or not. She encountered no crew members on the way down to sick bay and was glad because she still couldn't fight the tears that were flowing down her face.

She went through the doors and into sickbay, calling for the computer to activate the EMH.

"State the nature… Captain!" started the Doctor, he rushed over to her with his tricorder in hand and started to scan her for any signs of trauma. He wouldn't find any, all of her trauma was psychological and emotional not physical.

"What happened? Should I be expecting any more injured?" he asked, she only shook her head trying to reign in her emotions. When his scans turned up nothing but increased adrenalin and other hormones he asked what she needed from him.

"Captain, I'm not seeing anything physically wrong with you, so what do you need?" he asked compassionately. She looked at him and her sobs took over her body again. He moved around her and placed his holographic hand on her back and rubbed her shoulder soothingly. It took her a moment but she got her emotions under control again.

"I, I need the morning after pill." Her words shook him to the core and she dissolved into sobs again.

"Sedate me Doctor, please just sedate me." She managed in between her sobs. He did as she asked, but was growing more and more concerned that something rather bad had happened to her. The doctor lifted his now unconscious Captain and placed her on a bio bed so that he could get a better idea of what was going on. He ran full diagnostic scans and found seamen and slight vaginal tearing. Now he was really concerned. Her reaction plus all of the evidence he had collected was pointing to a very disturbing conclusion. He decided not to say anything just yet to Tuvok, just in case this was a misunderstanding. Instead he took a sample of the semen, extracted the DNA and did a ship wide comparison.

"Analysis complete, the DNA is a match to Commander Chakotay." If the hologram could feel anger he would have been feeling it right now.

"Commander Chakotay, report to sickbay immediately." He called through the comm. System desperately trying not to sound angry or alarmed.

"Doctor, I'm on the bridge can this wait until after my duty shift?"

"I'm afraid not Commander."

"On my way." Came his curt reply.

When he walked into sick bay he noticed Kathryn lying unconscious on a bio bed and automatically ran towards her, his face immediately flush with panic.

"Doctor, what's wrong with Kathryn?" he asked desperately.

"I was hoping you could explain that. She came down here in hysterics, it took her a moment to calm down and tell me what she wanted she asked for the morning after pill and then she dissolved into hysterics once more and asked me to sedate her so I did."

His face went white as a sheet, this was all his fault.

"Naturally I was curious, so I did some scans and came up with bruising on her thighs, vaginal tearing semen, your semen. Would you care to explain?"

Oh god, he thought that he raped her.

"Everything was coessential Doctor. We had sex last night; we both knew that it would only be once. I didn't realise how much all of this would affect her." He stated

"You expect me to believe that? I just had to sedate Kathryn Janeway! And you expect me to believe that?"

"Wake her and ask." Was all he said as he turned away from the Doctor and focused on Kathryn. The Doctor did just that, he pressed a hypospray into her neck along with a calmative agent for when she woke up. Chakotay watched as he eyes started to open.

"Chakotay, what are you still doing here?" she obviously thought that they were still in bed.

"Kathryn you are in sick bay, do you remember coming down here?"

She started to shake her head in the negative but paused.

"Yes, I came down here for the morning after pill. Oh God, I was a mess." She said and tears started to well again. She forced herself into a sitting position and flung her arms around his neck.

"Do you regret last night?" he asked softly, afraid of what her answer would be.

"Bits." His heart fell and he stiffened slightly in her arms but didn't let go.

"Which bits?" he asked softer still

"The bit where I said that this could only be one night," she pushed herself back and looked at him dead on in the eyes, "I can't live without you, I realise that now. One night will never be enough, I want you forever. I can't say that my command won't be compromised but I've known that I've loved you for years and it hasn't affected me before so I don't think that it will now. All of…" whatever she was about to say next was cut off as Chakotay brought his lips to hers in a kiss filled with promise and filled with a future that they both wanted.

"I love you Kathryn." He whispered

"I love you too."