Authors Notes: Hey XD Please tell me what you think XD I own nothing and no one apart from the following: aunt Lucy, uncle Simon and Blake. Please review XD

Don't know the names of Remus' parents, so made them up XD

Sirius

It was during fifth year, while in the library with Remus – I know me in the library...but I couldn't say no to him – that I found the spell. To this day, I have no idea how the spell is pronounced or what it is meant to do, but I was glad I found it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I didn't tell Remus that I had found the spell, instead I wrote it down on a scrap piece of parchment, so I remembered it. It looked interesting based on the picture, so I thought I'd give it a try. So that night, while James and Peter where asleep in their beds, and Remus was asleep on me in his bed, I pulled the parchment out of my pocket – since my jeans were by his bed – and took my wand off of Remus' bedside table. Quietly, I muttered the spell how I thought it was pronounced – I was probably wrong though – and watched as a silvery-blue light appeared in front of me. I placed the parchment and my wand on the table, before looking back at the big ball of light in front of me. I tilted my head to the side slightly, as I watched the middle of the ball formed a – what I could only describe as a – picture of three people in a living room. Two of the three – a man and woman – I recognised...but I couldn't put names to the faces. But I didn't recognise the kid. And then it all started moving.

"Daddy!" the little boy grinned, running towards the man.

"Remus!" the man beamed, picking the boy up. "Happy Birthday, son."

What?! Wait. The little kid was Remus. My Remus. No wonder the man and woman looked familiar! They were his parents!

"John, be careful. I don't want you almost dropping him again." Mrs Lupin laughed.

"That was an accident, Renee." Mr Lupin smiled. "Remus, can you tell me how old you are today?"

"Five!" little Remus giggled.

"Do you remember what that means?"

"We're going to the Zoo and then to auntie Lucy's house!"

"Do you remember who's at auntie Lucy's house?"

"Uncle Simon and cousin Blake!"

Well, this was a new and interesting way of getting to know my boyfriend. I mean, it's not like anyone else can say they found out about part of their other half's childhood like this. It was then the picture changed. It was a street at night, obviously the same day. I waited for the picture to start moving again.

"Remus, aren't you tired yet?" Mrs Lupin asked her bouncing five year old son.

Little Remus turned to face his mum, still bouncing side on, in-between both of his parents.

"Nuh-uh, I'm wide awake!" little Remus giggled.

"Typical." Mr Lupin chuckled. "Just like your cousin."

"Yay! Blake!"

Mr Lupin ruffled his – still bouncing – son's hair as they continued to walk down the road towards their house.

"Did you have a nice birthday, Remus?" Mrs Lupin asked, smiling.

"Yeah!" little Remus beamed. "Thank you for taking me to the zoo!"

"You are very welcome, sweetie."

Of course, it made sense that Remus was just as polite as a five year old as he was now. But that's why I loved him. He didn't change, no matter what happened.

"Mummy." little Remus said.

"Yes sweetie?" Mrs Lupin asked.

"Why is that man watching us?"

Little Remus was looking towards a guy leaning against a lamp post. But as soon as his parents looked, he was gone.

"No one's there, buddy." Mr Lupin, smiled. "I think someone needs some sleep."

"But there was someone there." Little Remus insisted.

"Come on, Remus."

Mr Lupin ushered his son onwards. Mrs Lupin was already inside the house when it happened. Mr Lupin was restrained and gagged, while someone else closed the front door quietly and grabbed Remus from behind. The guy that had grabbed Remus, moved round to face Mr Lupin, Remus facing him as well.

"Daddy!" little Remus said. "Daddy, what's happening?!"

The gag preventing Mr Lupin from speaking fell from his mouth.

"Greyback! Let my son go!" he growled. "Leave him alone!"

Greyback. Oh no...this was not good. This was not good at all. I mean, for one, Remus was turned on his fifth birthday! And second of all, I was going to see it happen! But I couldn't look away. I had wanted Remus to tell me more about his transformations, so I could understand it all better. I had asked him a couple of times, but each time he wouldn't tell me. I had to watch this.

Greyback didn't say anything to Mr Lupin. He just stood there grinning.

"Daddy, I don't want to play this game anymore." little Remus whimpered.

"It's ok, buddy. Everything will be fine." Mr Lupin said.

"Oh, we both know that's a lie." Greyback grinned. "You see, kid, I'm going to make the rest of your life a living hell, just by doing one tiny little thing. Sound fun?"

"No." little Remus replied in a small voice. "Please let me and my daddy go."

"No can do, kid. No can do."

And with that Greyback bit him. As little Remus screamed and tried to get away, Greyback's nails – that had now turned into claws – tore through his shirt and skin. He almost escaped, which was when Greyback's claws scrapped across his face and arms. Bone started to show in some places from how deep Greyback's claws dug into little Remus.

"DADDY!" little Remus screamed, crying, over and over. "NO! STOP IT! NO! DADDY! MUMMY! HELP!"

"REMUS!" Mr Lupin cried, struggling against the two people holding him. "REMUS!"

Mr Lupin yelled profanities as he continued struggling against the two restraining him. He watched as the blood rushed out of his son, running down the young boy's neck and arms, soaking through his t-shirt and jeans. Not to mention, dying Greyback's hands and face. Little Remus was the dropped to the floor on his back, bleeding, screaming and crying, and Mr Lupin was let go. Greyback grinned, mouth bloody. He just laughed as Mr Lupin scrambled over to his son. The guys that had been holding Mr Lupin and Greyback apparated.

I stared at the changing picture, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. The Remus in the slowly changing picture looked worse than my Remus did after his transformations. And that was a five year old. I swear I was going to kill Greyback if I ever saw him. When the picture came back into focus, it was a school. Remus' parents were sitting in front of a guy, who was sitting behind a desk.

"Mr and Mrs Lupin, I'm worried about your son." the guy said.

"What's wrong with Remus?" Mrs Lupin asked, worriedly.

"He's been acting out in class lately. Being disruptive, not listening to any teacher in the school and not completing any work. Has he been the same at home?"

"No, he hasn't."

"Well, do you know why he would be acting like this?"

"No I..."

Mrs Lupin stopped herself, a crease forming between her eyebrows. She turned to her husband.

"John, you don't think it's because of..." she started to ask.

"That's the only thing it could be, Renee." Mr Lupin sighed, miserably.

Mr Lupin looked to Remus' muggle teacher. He looked confused and slightly more worried that before. Mr Lupin let out a deep breath.

"On his birthday, we were coming home from his aunt and uncles." Mr Lupin explained. "Renee had already gone into the house, and Remus and I were almost at the door when we got jumped. That's why Remus has all those scars now."

"John blames himself." Mrs Lupin carried on. "But he couldn't get to Remus because he was being restrained. So he avoids Remus because of the guilt. And yes we have informed the police and they're doing everything they can to help us."

The muggle teacher raised his eyebrows, shocked. He nodded slowly before sitting up straighter in his chair.

"Well, that's probably it." the teacher said. "Not the act itself or because he blames you, but because his father is avoiding him. Every young boy needs his father or some father figure. But if his father or father figure has suddenly disappeared they will become confused and act out, blaming themselves for what had happened."

The image changed again. This time I knew exactly where it was. Whenever I was round the Lupins it was where I would find Remus most of the time. His room. As the picture came into focus again, I saw little Remus sitting on his bed, crossed legged, with a book in front of him. Typical.

The door to little Remus' room opened. He looked up slowly, a sad look on his tiny face.

"Hey, buddy." Mr Lupin, smiled, as he walked into his son's room.

"Daddy!" little Remus grinned, chucking himself off of his bed and at his dad. "I'm sorry, daddy."

Mr Lupin wrapped his arms protectively around his son, picking him up.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Remus." Mr Lupin told him, looking right into his eyes. "You did nothing wrong."

"I didn't?"

"No, of course not."

"Then why did you always leave when I came home?"

"Because daddy felt bad."

"About what happened?"

"Yeah. And I'm sorry, buddy. I never wanted that to happen. Especially not to you."

Little Remus hugged his dad.

"It's not your fault, daddy." little Remus whispered. "So you don't need to be sorry either."

It was amazing how even then Remus found it easy to forgive people, and insist that they did nothing wrong. I glanced down at my Remus. He was still fast asleep. He moved slightly. His head shifting on my chest, the same as his hand and he seemed to move even closer into me – if that was even possible. I just smiled, wrapping my arms around him tighter and kissing the top of his head. He was so peaceful when he slept, no trace of worry, fear or pain on his face. Just pure and utter bliss and innocence. It was cute.

"Love you, Rem." I whispered.

I looked back to the ball of light in front of me. There was another image coming into view. This time, it started with the sun set.

The colours in the sky blended together in a mixture of reds, oranges and pinks. Little Remus and his dad were walking through a wooded area. It was the woods by Remus' house. Little Remus just looked petrified as he clung to his dad's hand, walking as far away from their street as possible.

"Daddy, I'm scared." little Remus whimpered.

Mr Lupin looked down at his son and gave a small, encouraging smile.

"I know you are, buddy." Mr Lupin told him. "But you're going to be fine, ok?"

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Daddies just...know, buddy."

"Ok... Daddy?"

"Yeah, buddy."

"Are you going to stay?"

"Don't worry, buddy. I'll be right outside, just like I promised. I won't go anywhere."

Little Remus nodded.

And now I was going to see what his first full moon as a werewolf was like. Great. It was bad enough watching how much pain Remus went through at this age with all of his transformations, but this was when he was, and I quote, 'used to it'. I was about to see how he first dealt with it, before he had gotten used to it and before the guys and me were there to help. Brilliant. Just brilliant. The image jumped then, because suddenly the moon was up.

In the woods, there was a small shack-like...thing. It was built out of solid stone, but the door was made out of wood. Mr Lupin had just finished putting a charm on the door to prevent the wolf from breaking through. He had slumped down by the door a backpack next to him, trying to keep himself together, trying to stay calm. Mr Lupin also put a silencing charm on the shack, so no one on the outside would hear anything. He kept muttering words towards the door, only loud enough so little Remus as a wolf could hear. The moon had just come up, so the transformation would be starting soon.

Inside the shack, little Remus had pressed himself into a corner of the shack.

"I don't wanna be this." little Remus was whispering to himself over and over, hugging his knees to his chest as rocking back and forth. "I don't wanna be this."

A small ray of silvery moonlight slipped through a crack in the door. Little Remus saw it and his eyes glowed yellow in the pitch black of the shack. Slowly, ever so slowly, parts of his started to change. Fur began to appear, his face and skull began to change, the same as the bones in his arms and legs. The howl-like screams that came from him would, literally, break the toughest of hearts if they heard it.

I couldn't really watch this bit. I had witnessed it too many times, but never liked this. I ended up scrunching my eyes up and trying to block out the sound as best I could. It didn't work. The pain filled screams were echoing in my head. I tightened my arms around my Remus. I mean, I hated watching what he went through now! It was worse watching what went on when he was a kid! When the screaming stopped, I opened my eyes. The image had skipped again.

The sun had just risen, and a tiny stream was flooding the shack. Little Remus was curled up, half in the shadows, asleep. The new scars on him were easy to spot. They were as bad as the ones that he got from Greyback the month before. Mr Lupin had taken off the charms on the door that he put on the night before, and pushed the door open. With his wand, he fixed the worst of the scars, stopping the bleeding and making the dried blood disappear. Out of the backpack Mr Lupin had with him, he took out a large, thick blanket. He placed it over his son, before picking him up.

"Daddy?" the boy asked sleepily, voice hoarse and quite.

"Hey buddy." Mr Lupin said, quietly. "You did really well. I'm proud of you."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"It hurts."

"What does buddy?"

"Everything."

"Well, hey. Let's get you back home and we can get mummy to help. Can you hold on just a little longer?"

"Yeah."

"Good boy. I am so proud of you."

It ended there and the ball of light disappeared. I just stared at where it had been for a second, before glancing down. Remus was still asleep. I moved some hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear, gently. This was going to be difficult to explain in the morning. But I didn't have to worry about it until then. So, I just lay back and fell asleep.

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