New story, folks. I have never been more proud, or invested this much time in something I have written. I love it. I hope you do too. I owe Mechabeira a huge thank you- you edited and supported and encouraged me to make this something more than I thought I was prepared to give. So thank you. Enjoy, everyone. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. Leave a review on your way out. xoxoxo

Chapter 1

You're not gonna lose this one.

You don't have to cut and run.

You can learn to love and what's more—

That is how you survived the war."

-The Weepies, "How You Survived the War."

Sophie leaned her head against the cool glass of the car and watched the fluffy clouds float in the sky above. The one closest to her looked like a princess castle, and she reached out with tentative hands to press a finger against the glass. Ms. Andrea was driving and talking on her cell phone. They were going to her new house with a new family. Ms. Andrea had to leave her there because she had other appointments.

Sophie sucked her thumb hard to try and make her fast breathing get normal again. Going to new houses was scary. Scary and lonely and loud and not nice. Ms. Andrea had promised her that this family was nice, but she'd promised that last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, so Sophie didn't really believe her promises anymore.

"We're here!" Ms. Andrea called, making her jump a little. The house was pretty and painted yellow, and there were lots of flowers around the porch steps. A woman and a man stood on the porch, arms around each other, smiling nervously. They looked nice. It was probably a trick.

She grabbed her pink backpack with her teddy bear and a change of clothes inside. Ms. Andrea pulled her along by the hand. When they reached the steps, Sophie took a deep breath.

"Sophie, this is Tony and Ziva."

"Hello, sweetheart," the pretty woman named Ziva said quietly, and pulled her in for a soft hug. She smelled sweet and warm. When she pulled away, the man hugged her as well. He had big strong arms and looked a little bit like a prince.

Ms. Andrea nudged her, so she took a deep breath and tried to talk.

"Hi," she squeaked, her heart beating in her throat. She felt hot and cold all at once, and suddenly her backpack was too heavy. Her old t-shirt itched.

"Would you like to see your room?" Ziva offered, holding out a hand.

Sophie took it to be polite, just like Ms. Andrea told her. They walked past a comfy living room and up some stairs that looked like the ones Mr. Parker pushed her down. She would have to be careful when they got angry.

Ziva opened the door to her room, and Sophie opened and closed her mouth in surprise. It was painted light blue, and had a big girl bed with a rainbow colored quilt spread over it. The widows were big and she could see a play set in the backyard.

"What do you think?" Ziva asked.

Sophie couldn't find the words, so she just nodded and smiled a little.

Ziva smiled back. "I am glad you like it."

They went back downstairs, where Tony was signing some papers.

"Okay Sophie, it's time for me to go. I'll be by to check up on you in a few days," Ms. Andrea said. Then she rubbed her arm and kissed her head before walking out the door in her click clack shoes.

As soon as the door closed, Sophie grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and twisted her hand in it. She was scared- the hitting usually started when Ms. Andrea left, or when she said something stupid.

Ziva was really pretty- she had a kind smile and brown hair that was a little curly. She looked pretty enough to be a princess. "What would you like to do?" she asked kindly, peering down into her face.

Was this a trick? Sophie merely shrugged in response.

"A book, maybe?" Ziva decided, and grabbed one from off the shelf.

Tony put a hand on Sophie's back, and she jumped a little. "Lets listen to Ziva read Where The Wild Things Are; it's one of my favorites."

They sat down on the fluffy couch. Sophie sat on the edge so she didn't have to touch them. But she couldn't really see the pictures, so she had to scoot closer, until she was resting her head on Ziva's arm. Sophie pulled back as soon as she realized what she had done, face hot, but Ziva only winked at her and kept reading. Why wasn't she yelling? Sophie scooted away so she they wouldn't have anything to yell about, just in case.

They finished the book and Tony turned to her. "What did you think, kiddo?"

Sophie was confused. Why were there so many quiet questions here? It made her uncomfortable so she looked at her lap. She'd liked the book a lot, and wanted to hear it again, but couldn't say so. She poked at the cover, hoping Ziva would understand.

"Would you like to hear the story again, motek?" She asked. Sophie nodded tentatively after a long minute- she liked that Max's mommy still loved him even after he was bad. Was that what mommies were supposed to be like? Maybe. Maybe she'd find out.

...

"She's perfect." Ziva sighed as she hunkered down under the covers. Tony pulled her close and nodded against her hair. "She is. She's quiet and shy and sweet and absolutely adorable. She's ours, Zi. Sophie is our little girl."

"Ours." Ziva mused, trying out the word. It felt right. The pain and frustration of infertility felt like a distant memory. A bad dream she's finally woken up from when she laid eyes on Sophie. Infertility, miscarriages, and shattered dreams had dominated the past few years. Having Sophie in the house felt like she had finally done something right.

They cuddled in comfortable silence until they heard crying coming from Sophie's room. They jumped up and ran in to find her trembling in the middle of the room. Her new ladybug pajama pants were wet, and she was trying to drag her sheets out the door. She squeaked as soon as she saw them enter.

"Shaifeleh, what is wrong?" Ziva cooed, rushing over to her.

Sophie shook her head, sobbing so hard her nose was running.

Tony took the sheet from her and headed into the laundry room. The rhythmic thumping of the washer was calming.

"N'sicha, you do not have to cry, " Ziva cooed, pulling a fresh pair of pajamas over Sophie's head. She was so tiny. "It was an accident and we are not mad." She pulled her into her lap and dropped a kiss on her curls. Sophie stiffened initially, but calmed as Ziva rocked and shushed her.

Tony crept in with clean sheets and blankets and remade the bed. They deposited her among the pillows, and she woke momentarily before drifting off, thumb loose in her mouth. They watched her quietly for a long time before heading back to their room. Ziva had to steady herself before she could climb into bed. She'd known, logically, that caring for an abused child would be difficult, but she hadn't expected it to twist her heart and steal her breath when telling Sophie she was safe, when holding her close and loving her weren't enough to undo the damage. It would take time- time and energy, both of which Ziva was ready to give.