A/N: Just finished book 10! It was great. Interesting ending, but great action.
Journal One. Mark, you better have your eyes glued relentlessly to every page.
My name is Bobby DragonwarriorX. So one day I was minding my own business when my estranged but totally cool Uncle James West appears. He told me that 'some people needed to a good beating' so being the natural good-hearted stud I am I paused right in the middle smooching my hot would-be girlfriend Courtney Chew tobacco. Wut evaz.
"By the way," JW mentions as we enter a room with a cliché' star on it (ooo! A star. Ooo, how symbolic!). "You're going to have to face a world full of dudes five times your size, a psychotic black Amazonian chick and some guy who's so friendly he might be homo."
"Nooooo! Eh, wut evaz. Here we goez."
So anyway Mark (and yes I sent that Mama Amazonian to make sure you're reading this cosmic hogwash) we go down a snowy mountain, face a village of oppressed weaklings that fear their leaders so much they mine for rock candy and basically we have to save them because we are the T-force. Don't ask me to tell you what the T stands for Crystal.
Mark Crystal.
So after saving Lula belle (the warrior chick my age) from friendly homo guy, we learn that we have to find this book's version of Darth Vader and destroy him with explosive sticky tack. Or is it pronounced 'tak'? Anyway, I hope you and Chewbacca like your new magic class ring. Because, as we know, all cliché fantasy stories need possessed jewelry.
By the way, we go through something called a perfume. It's full of corny carnival music, rock candy, images of other dangerous worlds you'll have to endanger your life in time and time again, rock candy, a jungle place you should never visit, oh and rock candy too.
Uh-oh. Freaky Amazonian woman just got bombarded with arrows. Apparently the adult T-force posse is suppose to die or something so we younger, hipper and way better guys can make a stand. Yeah. So yeah, I'm gonna go sneak into the castle with Lula belle, the homo dude Alfred and mix up the territories. See ya on the other side home skillet bisket.
And here we go.
End chapter whatever.
To be continued (when I feel like it…)
P.S. I wonder if my being in an alternate dimension will cause drastic life changes back on twenty-third earth. But what do I know, I'm a young, naïve adolescent written by a humorous guy who gives descriptive action details but with little historical accuracy and any sort of logic. Who's actually very good at continuity, but light on real-life concepts.