A/N: Well, we all know how Shepard felt on Horizon- this is Horizon from Kaidan's point of view. If I get the dialogue wrong, its because its been a while since I hit Horizon and was focussing on the emotions anyway. Hope you enjoy and am shamelessly plugging for reviews. As much as I like favourites, reviews are even better :D
Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.
He knew her, every inch of her; he knew when she was happy, when she was worried, when she was sad. And now, he saw she was ecstatic. She threw her arms around him and held him close, tenderly, and he never wanted to let go. Her voice was so full of emotion when she murmured his name.
"Kaidan," she said, lovingly, and he abruptly pulled back. Confused, she stared at him, hurt flashing in her eyes. He could not take this. He'd let the others convince him to live a little, and now… here she was again, so undeniably her, so beautiful… so sad.
"Al-Shepard," he said, forcing himself to address her professionally. This threw her further and he could see her shutting down as she held herself away from him. It killed him, to cause her pain. He followed her example and separated his heart from his head.
"I heard rumours you were alive. I wanted to believe them- but… how could you let me think you were dead so long? I- I thought we had something- I loved you!" His anger spilled out and she flinched back before replying, quietly, softly, sadly.
"I was dead, Kaidan," she whispered. "And after they brought me back… it had been two years. I didn't want to cause you more pain." Just like her, to think of him first. Tears threatened to overwhelm him but he held them back. There was a long, awkward silence.
"You're with Cerberus," he finally whispered, staring at the woman with her; the unmistakable uniform she wore. "I'd heard. I didn't want to believe, but…" Aliane too looked at the other woman, and her face hardened.
"I have no choice. The Council refuses to fund me, and the Collectors… well, you know what they're doing!" she gestured around her. "Cerberus is willing to help me stop the Collectors. You know me, Kaidan. I would never do this unless it was the right thing to do." He stared at her and knew that she was exactly the same woman he'd fallen in love with; somehow, the knowledge didn't help. In fact, it only made what he had to do worse.
"Kaidan… please… it'll be just like old times. Come with me." Her eyes pleaded with him and he wanted to go with her. Of course he wanted to go with her. He forced himself to stay where he was.
"I haven't forgotten my loyalties," he said finally and she flinched as if he had physically struck her, deflated. His heart broke watching her but he had to continue. "I will never work with Cerberus. Goodbye, Shepard." She stared desperately at him as he turned and walked away.
"Will I see you again?" she asked brokenly, attempting to muffle her sobs futilely, and it was the hardest thing he had ever done not to reply.