Kind of spoilers for Cyberwoamn (season 1, Ep 4) but more AU than what the BBC showed. Don't own them, but I sure do like playing with them. Especially Jack and Ianto.

You hid yourself from us!

Pain, tearing deep into his chest, forced out through gasping, tearing sobs.

You execute her or I'll execute you both!

Staggering, stumbling, ricocheting like the bullets that had ripped through her, unfeeling of the rough walls that snatched and tore through cloth and into flesh, seeing nothing, hearing nothing except Jack's final command for him to get out. Nothing left; his mind, his heart, his body screaming in agony, the stench of blood covering him, cloaking him, wishing that he could simply vanish into the pain, claw his way deep into the misery and let it take him, let it overwhelm him, let it finish him. Alarms shrieking, the cries from Myfanwy as she nursed the wounds from the Cyberwoman - Lisa - the echoes of the screams of his teammates, battering him, slamming through his brain, his heart, his soul.

And then finally only the sounds of his breathing, the sounds of his sobbing, the darkness reaching for him and letting him tumble forward into it, welcoming him, cradling him in its arms and offering him oblivion.

-TW-

By the time the blood was cleaned, the bodies burned and the equipment dismantled and separated into piles of useful and destroy, Jack had actually calmed down to the point where he was able to speak without pushing the words through his teeth. "Everyone go home, be back by nine tomorrow morning," he told them, "and be prepared for some changes in protocol. Serious changes." He took a deep breath and looked at Tosh. "Every code, every access, every possible means of getting into anything needs to be changed first thing. I want every entrance on a DNA lock with a notification if anyone uses it. As soon as you're gone, I am instigating a complete lockdown which will not be lifted until morning."

"Jack, what about...?"

"Don't ask me that now," Jack snarled, ignoring the way Tosh flinched from his tone.

"Come on, Tosh," Owen said softly, taking her arm and guiding her toward the main part of the Hub, wanting to get her out before the tears he could see gathering on her lashes began to fall.

"Jack, I think..."

"Gwen, which part of go home did you not understand? I swear if any of you are still here after the next sixty seconds I'm locking you in the cell next to Janet."

With that he spun away and stomped up the steps to his office, the resounding slam of the door making all of them jump. Figuring he meant what he said they gathered their things and left, leaving their captain to brood and drink in the eerie silence that had fallen in the aftereffects of the violence before. He was angry, furious even, at the whole idea of having something that could literally destroy the planet under his nose and not having an idea it was there. He was angry, incensed even, over the fact that it had nearly cost him his team.

He had to admit, after more than a few large tumblers of scotch, that he was hurt as well. He felt used, and he felt conned, and he had not for a single moment thought Ianto would ever do something like this. He knew the younger man was suffering the effects of being caught in the destruction and death of Canary Wharf, and maybe he hadn't really done enough to try to help him through the trauma of it all but his hatred of Yvonne Hartman and all things One had clouded his judgment. He could admit that. He didn't like it, but he could. What he didn't want to admit, and didn't want to feel, was that tiny niggle of guilt. Guilt because he had taken the time to integrate Gwen into the team, made her a part of everything, and never once thought about the fact that Ianto was just - there. Part of that he knew was because Ianto seemed happy to be in the background, but Jack knew he should have taken more than time to flirt, to playfully harass and to look a little deeper than the polite facade presented in the form of a well-fitting suit.

Jack was at a loss as to how to handle this. Under the anger, the betrayal, the fear and the guilt was the simple fact that he knew if it had been Rose he would have done the same thing. If he had found her, half converted but still alive, he would have done everything and anything in his power to keep her alive, to keep her breathing and thinking and feeling until he could find some way of helping her. He would have lied, hidden her, stolen and done whatever he had to do and would not have felt one shred of guilt. Could he condemn Ianto for loving someone so much that he was blinded to the damages the Cyberwoman could have caused? Did cause, two people were dead because of her.

Jack groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. Right now there was nothing he could do, the Hub was locked down and even if he wanted to he couldn't leave. Grabbing the decanter he lurched to his feet, the rapid consumption of the alcohol making him sway as he stumbled to the hole which led to his bunker and half slid, half fell down the ladder to try to get a few hours of sleep and not think about the blood, the pain, and the look of hatred, fear and devastation that had been his last glimpse of Ianto's eyes.

-TW-

It didn't surprise him that Tosh arrived first. He had opened the lockdown before eight, knowing the tech would not wait until nine to arrive so when she came though the cog door at only a few minutes after he was not surprised. She tried to flash him a smile but he saw the concern in her eyes and wondered if it was for him, for Ianto, or for what she was afraid he was going to do to the young man. He recalled their meeting and the first few months after bringing her to Torchwood and he remembered only too well the insecurity that had dripped from her, not in the job she did but from her, from who she was. Another broken soul he had brought to the team and taken the time to get to know, to mentor, to care. Owen was the same, devastated by the death of Katie, the horror of what he had been exposed to and Jack had worked with him, with the anger and the hatred and he had come out damaged but whole.

Suzie, well, let's not even think about Suzie because he still couldn't believe he had not noticed her descent into madness.

And Gwen? Well, the reason he had brought her in was because she wasn't broken, she hadn't been exposed to the horrors the others had, she hadn't felt the loss of loved ones, of seeing things and atrocities that the rest had, of being exposed to not only the terrors of what they didn't know was out there to the terrors of what walked beside them every day.

"Jack?"

He wasn't surprised. "Yeah?"

"Please give him a chance."

Jack lifted his head, his eyes meeting hers. "He was right about a lot of things. We did ignore him. He might have wanted us to, but apart from me treating him as a potential bed partner, Owen being as rude and condescending as he possibly could, Gwen acting as if he was the Hub servant and you..." He cocked his head. "You did talk to him. You did say thank you. I think you might have been the only one who even knew anything about him."

She nodded, coming further into the office and taking the chair opposite him. "I understood him. He felt meaningless, Jack. He didn't matter. The reason he was willing to do anything for her was because to him she was the only one that cared. All his friends died that day. He and his sister don't really speak. No one here seemed to care, and when anyone did mention One it was to talk about how foolish they were and how they deserved what they got. Owen asked him how it felt to live with knowing that he could have been responsible for the end of Earth. You have said more than once how bad One was, and how glad you were not to have the things they had done on your conscience. That hurt him. He told me that he already felt responsible for not doing more. How could he have come to us for help when we made it clear it was his fault already?"

Jack cringed, sinking further back in his chair as she spoke. "We are not without fault in all this, Tosh, me in particular. I failed as the leader of this team. But Ianto has to take some of the blame for this as well. I know he thought he could save her, but honestly she was dead from the moment the first upgrade was complete. I don't mean the whole casing, I mean the first piece of tech they put into her. I think she played him, I think the cyber parts were in control all along but they used her memories of him to keep him blindly helping." He sighed. "I plan on going to see him today. In fact, I'm going to go now before the others come in. I meant what I said though, everything is to be changed and all entrances and exits will have DNA scans and a record will be logged into a special file which will notify me when it is accessed."

"I think it's a good idea. I don't expect anyone to...well..." She sighed. "I don't know what anyone is capable of anymore. And Jack?" She eyed him as he stood and grabbed his coat. "One of the biggest problems that will have to be dealt with when Ianto comes back is how he's to be treated. I know I don't say much, but Owen is going to go out of his way to make things difficult. He told me last night that if you bring Ianto back he's going to throw a fit."

"Owen will have to get over it. As a doctor, he should have seen some of this. And if he has a problem with me bringing Ianto back then..." He grinned and shook a finger at her. "Where in this conversation did I say I was bringing him back?"

Tosh giggled. "You just did."

"Call me with his address," Jack grumbled, his smile showing there was no malice in it. He opened the top drawer of his desk and grabbed a set of keys. "Just in case he won't let me in," he told her with a wink before sweeping out the door. "Now get to work, Toshiko Sato!" he called back.

She laughed, getting up and leaving the office to access her computer and send Jack Ianto's address.