Zhe-shing – Sex

Jah-kine – Holy Shit

Sha-Shong - Fuck or Fucking

Beginning, Mess Hall

Kaylee laughed at Simon's joke about his doctorin'. All the crew was around the table, laughing or smiling. Jayne had a smile on his face, shaking his head as he ate some more of his seconds; Book laughed with his mouth open; Mal was smiling tall and mighty, not wanting to give into the funniness of the joke. Zoë and Wash both were cracking up, mainly from the fact they were drunk. Everyone else was just hanging around, like River. She leaned into the table a little and said happily, "Simon, tell them about the wife and her son! About the baby!"

Simon, realizing which one she meant went with the story. "Okay, once, about 2 years ago, there was a boy that had to be there for his mother's birth. His face was white as she..." Simon drowned on as Mal thought back to the anniversary of his and Julie's child, about 20 years or so ago.

Julie's face was red, sweat running down her face. Mal had his hand in her's, repeating everything that the doctor said to comfort Julie from the pain.

"Its all most here Mrs. Reynold's, your baby girl is almost here. Keep pushing."

"Come on Julie! Almost here, just keep it going!"

Julie looked up at Mal, a possessed look on her face. Evidently, she was annoyed with Mal repeating comforting words. "You repeat one more thin' that doctor says, you'll be in just as much pain as… AHHHHH! ME!" Another contraction had come across as the baby's shoulders came out. The doctor started to talk again.

"She's almost here, two more pushes should do."

Julie lost her patience with the doctor. "You said that 20 pushes ago! If I give one more sha-shing push, I'll box you in the head!"

Mal kept his mouth shut on that one, wanting so dearly to make a snide joke. The doctor didn't seem to notice that Julie had sworn at him, in a rude manner too. She was more concentrating on the baby that was out. The umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's neck. Her breathing was slowing down as it became tighter. The doctor snapped the cord, removing it as fast as could. The breathing became normal again. Julie laid down, sweat and hair matted on her neck and face. Her hand was sweaty in his hand. Mal reached a shaky hand up to her face and pulled back some of the hair. Their eyes locked. "Can they fix me now?" She smiled, in a way joking, but she truthfully wanted them to fix her. Mal nodded, smiling also. "Yah, two children are enough for us."

Evidently the doctor had heard because she started to talk to Mal, asking him to leave. He removed his hand from Julie's, kissing her forehead. The nurse was cleaning up his baby girl, and as he started to walk out the door, he looked in and saw his little girl sleeping. She hadn't shrieked when she came out and when the doctor cleaned out her throat and nostrils. He had done the same thing, his mother had told him.

Mal looked at Edith, his thirteen-year-old son. He smiled and placed his hand on Edith's shoulder. "You have a baby sister." Edith's smile faded, but soon came back. A tear came down Mal's cheek as he gave his son a hug.

"Mal? Mal!"

He looked up to hear Inara calling his name and everyone else looking at him. Mal looked at them all. "What?"

Inara gave him the You-know-that-you-are-being-rude look. "Would you like an apple? Book said that he got them specially for us."
Mal looked at the apples. "No thanks. I'll have one tonight-on duty. I'm going to try and get some sleep before. Night everyone. Kaylee, River, your dish duty tonight." He got up and walked out of the Mess Hall, Kaylee and River either trying to hold back a laugh or groaning rather unusually. The memory of his son and daughter still lingered though.

Mal's Shift

Mal looked up, his eyes wide open, to hear the sound of Wash pounding on his door. "Mal, your shift! I'm going to bed."

He lifted his head up and looked in front of him, the clock on the shelf reading about 2:00 a.m., his shift. Mal grumbled as he put his boots on, then his shirt, leaving his suspenders for last. Once he was out and walking about the dock a bit, he found himself over at Inara's door. She was meant for leave months ago, but she had never gotten around to packing and Mal hadn't gotten around to asking her to stay.

"Gorram", he whispered to himself, the feelings coming back that he always had when he arrived at Inara's door: happiness, giddiness, and butterflies in the empty pit of his stomach that was always dark.

Mal wanted to ignore all the feelings he had towards her, to make them stop, but it went on. He was about to touch the door, some how feeling closer to Inara, but he pulled himself away, his steps slowly getting further and further away from her door. Mal rounded the corner and another to the pilot room. As he sat down in the chair, he had sudden thoughts of Julie, the ones he always discouraged at times like this when he was thinking about Inara.

Julie smiled at him, her dimples sinking in, making his attitude lighter. He would smile back at her and look away from her eyes a bit, looking out the window of their summerhouse, the artificial waves splashing against his children who were playing outside. Julie looked towards that direction too and looked at their kids, her smile fading. Edith was eighteen and Kayet was five. They both had grown up so fast, she thought. Another thought popped into her head. "Who will take care of Kayet and Edith if we die at this age?"

Mal wasn't ready for this blow, so as he looked down at her, he asked her, "Where in the hell did you get the idea that we might die at this age?"

"That's not what I meant Mal," Julie responded, lifting herself on her elbows to look at Mal in the face. "I meant what would happen if we died, right now. I don't have parents and your mother is getting older. You don't have brothers or sisters that care much and I was an only child. We have no aunts or uncles. Mal, I know what it is to live in an orphanage; it's not good for children. What will happen? Will we find love again, or break down and not ever take notice of much?"

All the questions and what she had just said made a bubble of thoughts enter Mal's head as he looked her dumb-founded. He answered all the questions but one. "Julie, nothing of that sort is going to happen, to either of us. And if it does, I expect Edith to take care of Kayet. And I hope that you find love again. Understood?"

Julie looked at him a minute and then nodded as she sank back into his arms. "I just had to wonder and ask..." He thought he was stupid for looking at her like she was the stupid one for asking, but he couldn't help it. "I know…"

Mal felt a light tap on his shoulder. He spun his head around quickly to see Inara standing next to him in her fancy nightgown, surprised at his fast acting. She wasn't wearing any jewelry or make-up, her hair was down, and Mal thought it looked like her. They both looked at each other, eye in eye for moments. Inara started first. "I heard something at my door… I didn't know what it was."

His eyes went half lidded as she spoke, like a spell in a way before he spoke quickly after her. "That was me."

Inara had that look of hopefulness in her eyes before speaking on. "Why were you at my door?"

Mal felt the heat in his face rise, knowing that he was in a bit of a tiffy about what to say. He wasn't about ready to tell her he liked her. "I was checking out a squeaky rail – catwalk flooring thing… it's been squeaking lately." Mal flashed her a smile and Inara felt her stomach have butterflies.

"Mal, it hasn't been squeaking-"

"That's because I have fixed it."

Inara gave him a look. "Mal, do you like stalking me?"

Mal had a blank look on his face. He could tell her if he wanted too, but why? He looked at her and in a wavy voice he answered, "No. Why would you think such a thing?"

Inara felt her stomach fall and her eyes swell. No, not now, she thought to herself. I gave him the chance, why would I have feelings for a two-timer like him? But I wish…

"Well, lying about a squeaky catwalk is one thing, you being obsessed is another."

"I am not lying, it really was Gorram squeaky!"

"Well I have never heard it squeak."

"You must be used to it."

Inara suddenly knew what he meant. "Oh, I have?"

Mal looked away, turning his head to look out the pilot window. A look of terror was on his face. Inara, from behind Mal, was filled with anger. She tried to keep her voice from waving as she talked. "I better go off to bed. I have to pack tomorrow." He instantly thought that he blew it. He turned his head around. " Inara?"

She looked in front of her; sure to make it that he didn't see her harsh face. "Yes Malcolm?"

He pulled her hand, making her body turn with it. He saw the anger in her eyes. Mal placed a calloused hand on the nape of her neck as he leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met, first doing nothing but a brotherly, sisterly kiss, but then, it went on to a wary French kiss. As it broke, Inara looked him in the eyes. "Mal…"

Hope was staring at her. "Yeah?"

She searched for words and found herself saying something she regretted. "I have to sleep so I can pack tomorrow."

"Oh?"

Inara removed his hand from her waist, kissing his cheek and moving away, letting go of his hand at the last possible moment, but her head turning as soon as she could. He felt the heat rise, negative and criticizing thoughts entering his head, watching her leaving him.

Inara, Leaving Cockpit

As she rounded the corner, Inara could feel her eyes swelling even more. She knew he liked her, but why had she rejected his kiss? And make him feel like an idiot?

She closed her door, locking it, and then falling down, her hand still on the door handle, bursting into a fit of tears. Hot and heavy her eyes felt, cold and icy her tears. Inara had wanted to stay in Mal's arms, but found it hard for her to stay. She also found it hard to get up and go back to his arms, tell him her feelings. Instead, she sat down, tears cold and icy.

Next Day, Mess Hall

Kaylee noticed something between Mal and Inara; they weren't making eye contact or speaking, but she could see them look at one another when the other wasn't looking. "You two gettin' into so many fights, why don't 'cha just alwa's be angry? Huh? It is heart breaking, you know. We have enough negativity comin' from you two all the time-" Simon cut in, being gentle with words. "Kaylee, it's alright, nothing to get upset over."

"Who said I was upset, huh?" Kaylee looked at Simon, knowing that she was upset just by the tone of voice she was giving him.

"No one, but –"

Kaylee shot out of her chair. "Then I will be in the engine room!" She went straight out the door, Simon following closely. "Kaylee!"

River looked up from her plate. "He likes her. She likes him. Why aren't they together? Zhe-shing is always on their minds."
Mal, Jayne, Wash, Zoë, Book and Inara all gagged, coughed, spit or choked on what they were drinking or eating. "River!" They sputtered at the same time.

She shrugged and went back to eating. "They think about it. So do others. Want to—"

Mal interrupted her. "River as much as we know that you enter minds, we would not like to hear about your brother and Kaylee zhe-shinging each other or any other thoughts they have enter their or anyone else's head, is that clear?"

River smiled, straightening her back, in her hand in saluting poise. "Yes Sir!"

Alone, On Catwalk, Mal

Mal walked along the catwalk, over to Inara's room. The door was open and so he figured it meant anyone could come in. Instead of finding Inara alone, he found Kaylee in Inara's lap, holding a mirror while Inara French braided her hair, and River over at Inara's vanity, smelling all the wonderful perfumes, holding them gently. He smiled, standing by the door, imaging Julie braiding Kayet's hair while Edith, his son, smelled his mother's perfume. He cleared his throat before speaking, making them all look up, the smiles fading away slowly at the realization of whom it was. "May I join this tea party you all have found to enjoy? May I join your frolicking and laughter? Oh please, please?"

River smiled, along with Kaylee at Mal's girly voice. Inara looked at him stonily. "Mal," she warned.

"Oh, I was only hoping to join, be one of the girl's! But I see my request has been denied. I shall go then." Mal smiled and turned only to be yanked back by River, who had a firm hold on his hand. She smiled at him and pulled him into the room, over to the vanity where she started to put make-up and all that fun stuff on him. "Don't make me too pretty now!"

Inara looked at Mal and River, allowing Kaylee to turn her head also. Inara couldn't speak at first, but found herself saying, "River, you know which make-up not to put on him."

River smiled at her and turned back to Mal. " I ain't that fond of pinks," Mal said, letting the girly side go as River took out some pink lipstick.

"It will look good. Trust me." River put it on him, Mal feeling foolish at letting River do this to him. He remembered that he would let Kayet put make-up on him, when she was young. Edith would just laugh at his father's foolishness for letting Kayet have her fun.

When they were finished, Mal looked like a whore who had badly applied make-up and never made enough money buy clothing that fit. He had on some of Inara's clip on earrings and shawls, a skirt that was too small for him to button in the back. He looked in the mirror; Inara was trying not to laugh at his silliness. "I look so fancy. I feel like one of the gals already!"

Kaylee looked at the loving look that Inara gave Mal as she laughed at his silliness. Kaylee busted up with laughter, saying, "River, I think we should leave Inara to clean up Mal. Come on."

River turned, her head plated with French braids, and grabbed Kaylee's hand, bouncing off. Inara called after them. "You had better come by later and help me put it back! Did you hear me?" All she got back for a response was laughter and Jayne's swearing. Inara laughed, turning back to Mal.

"You are such a fool to let them dress you up like this."

"I'm used to it."

"For some reason, that doesn't surprise me." Inara leaned into Mal, taking off the earrings and beret in his hair. She looked him in the eyes before going back to her vanity and putting them away in a drawer. Mal started to take off the skirt and shawl, placing them on the bed. "I had better go off then."

Inara laughed, knowing that he had forgotten about the make-up. "I'm sure Jayne wouldn't make fun of you for the pretty pinks then?"

Mal noticed what she meant. "Gorram!"

"Though if you sit down, I can take that make-up off."

Mal walked over to her bed, sitting down on the edge. Inara pulled out some cotton balls, putting a solution on it before walking over to where Mal was sitting. As she began to wipe away the make-up, she asked him a question that had been in her head. She had it answered already, but she needed to hear him say it. "Why did you kiss me?

Mal instantly felt that same feeling he did that night after the kiss: stupidity. He stuttered a bit as he answered, avoiding her eyes. "I wasn't exactly planning on kissing you. It just happened."

Inara stopped rubbing. He was afraid to answer it the right way, afraid of passion…

The memory of his kiss entered her mind and she wanted to feel the same soft, but chapped lips. She looked at him. "So are you saying that you just kissed me to make me happy, Malcolm, to make me feel stupid? Because I'm feeling pretty stupid!"

Mal knew what she was starting. "Inara, I don't know why I kissed you."

"You don't, but I do."

He searched for something in his head, a way to act. "And that is?"

Inara took in a breath, sharply, getting angry with him again, desire pounding in her stomach. "I was actually hoping that you would inform me as to why. But I can see that you can't say what you mean, you have to hide it like an abused child!"

"You think I am an abused child?" Mal was trying to get off subject, his voice rising at her. "My mother never abused me, it was my father that abused—"

"Mal, that wasn't what I meant. You know what I am talking about, but as always, you push it aside. Do you want me to leave or would you rather me stay so we can stay angry at each other?"

Mal couldn't, wouldn't answer that question, fear collecting in his stomach. He stuttered as he answered her. "I… It's your decision."

Inara felt tears and anger. "Malcolm, get out of my room. You weren't invited and… and you barged in without knocking."

"And now you through me out?" He looked up at her, some of the make-up still on his face.

Inara looked at him and pointed to the door. "Leave Malcolm, now."

He got off the bed and started to walk towards the door, Inara following him, slamming the door once he went out. Everyone had formed a little, Jayne in front of the line. Seeing the make-up made his face lit up. "You tried kissin' Inara? Mal, now why'd you go and try tha—"

Mal gave him a harsh look. "I wasn't kissin' Inara, Jayne. Since you all are here, get ready to drop off Inara. She wants to be dropped at the Whore Training house."

"Mal?" Zoë asked questioningly.

"What?" Mal snapped at her.

"Nothin'…"

He started to move towards his hole, everyone moving back to let him go through. He laid down on his bed, the subliminal message in the fight eched out in his head. Why didn't I say 'stay', Mal thought to himself.