I wake slowly as I snuggle further into him, my chin resting on his shoulder and the curve of his upper arm pressing between my breasts. It takes me a minute to realize this isn't a dream, that he's here, he's safe, and he's holding my hand. To see him slumbering next to me with his skin on mine instills in me sense of safety and peace I swear to God I couldn't have possibly even imagined. I'm almost positive a feeling this good never actually existed before now. Before us. I'm afraid to move, afraid to breath. I am literally desperate for this moment to never end. But suddenly, without wanting, I see the clock out of the corner of my eye.
Three. Twenty. Seven. Oh God. We were supposed to check in two and a half hours ago. The gang has got to be so worried. They probably think something bad happened when it totally didn't. Wait, crap, totally did. The Judge. What are we going to do about that big, blue blister on the heel of my happiness?
As I my brain buzzes with the possibility of our potential doom, I feel Angel stir slightly beside me and I realize I've been squeezing his hand pretty tight during my little panic spell. As I let my gaze wander over him and I am suddenly overcome with idea that the lack of his touch might suffocate me. I feel like I can breath, like I've never been able to breath before now and I know this feeling should scare me, but doesn't. I want him. I need him. I love him. And it makes all the difference in the world. I can't even begin to imagine life without him. My life is with him. I know it. I'm positive.
Unfortunately, right now I also know I need to call Giles. Oh lord why couldn't he have his phone next to our bed. It's far away and I want to wake him so bad, just so he can walk to the phone with me, but looking at his lips, which I'm needing on mine so bad, I realize I've never seen him so calm. In his closed eyes there is peace. Peaceful Angel: the sight is almost blinding it's so pretty. As selfish as I want to be, I just don't have the heart to wake him and steal that away from him.
I snake my hand out of his and I begin to shift carefully lifting my leg up over him so that I can get on my knees. Hovering above him my wrists are kissing his shoulders and I check the clock again as I feel the covers caress my back. Three thirty six. Wanna stay with Angel. Never want to leave this bed. Ever. Need to call Giles, need to call Giles. That's when I feel his hands on my hips and I freeze. I've been caught. I involuntarily lower my hips and my sex kisses his belly. Oh God it just can't be possible to love someone this much. It just can't.
I look at him and he gazes into me, and me into him, and I'm so overcome with emotion, silent tears come streaming down my face. That scares him, I know it. I know it cause all his serenity is lost and blatant terror runs a muck over his features and it only makes me cry harder cause I'm so sorry I'm scaring him. He's asking me what's wrong without saying a word cause I know he's afraid to ask. I'm shaking now cause I'm so overcome and I don't know how to explain it to him, but I try. "I love you so much." The words seem so inadequate, so not even close to enough but looking at him, suddenly he looks happier than I know I've ever seen him look before. And I feel so stupid for making him worried and for what I have to say next, so I close my eyes as I begin to cave in resignation. My voice filled with resentment, like it's my dirty little secret, I murmur, "but I have to check in with Giles." I feel ridiculous and I know it shows.
When I open my eyes he's smiling at me and I lose all rational thought. All I know is my lips are on his and my breasts are pressed to his chest and my thighs slick with his seed are hugging his hips so tight and I'm home. This is home. This is what matters. This is heaven on earth and I feel like I'm witnessing a miracle I'm in such awe.
Despite my deep desire to never stop kissing him, ever, I suddenly feel an overwhelming need for oxygen and let my head fall to rest on his chest as I taking in deep, needy breaths filled with his scent.
"You need to call Giles," he says softly and I can hear he doesn't want to say it.
"Wanna stay here," I whisper lazily dragging my fingertip over his left nipple feeling it stand up under my touch.
"Me too," he says while his expansive hands drown my back. Please God, don't ever let him let go of me.
"Come with me?"
"Of course…wait, where?"
I grin. I can't help it, that was adorable. "To the phone," I say. I think he might laugh, but he doesn't. Instead he sits up wrapping my legs around his waist while I wrap the covers around us. He gets up cradling my back and my ass and kisses my tear tracks away as he carries me to the phone. He then picks up the phone with hand that used to be on my back and hands it to me to hold. He dials the library and then he holds the receiver to my ear.
"Hi Giles…yeah we got a little…sidetracked, the Judge is up and running" I look at Angel and say to him with my eyes what I can't let Giles hear. "Yeah, we're fine." I run my hand down the side of his face fascinated at how unafraid I am of what's to come. Angel is here and we're safe and we will be. "In a couple of hours? Oh right, school…okay, I'll see you then…Bye Giles." Angel hangs up the phone and puts it back down onto its place on the table. "Angel?"
"Yeah?" I swear the way he looks at me, it makes me feel so soft, so warm. It's like I'm melting and dying for him to lap me up.
"I love you."
"I love you…I love you." Then he kisses me and the world evaporates around me. Oh God I love him. I love him. I love him against me, I love him in me. I don't want to get dressed. I want to stay here. Always. Always. This is where I belong.