Dear Logan,
You left me today.
You broke me today.
I just... I don't understand.
You save me from the road, you fight Sabretooth...
When you woke up here, you worried about ME.
That's why I came to your room when you had that nightmare... You stabbed me, I pretty much deserved that I suppose.
But I TOUCHED you...
God Logan!
You'll never know how much I regret that night.
I don't regret coming into your room.
I don't regret you stabbing me.
I don't even regret you invading my body and taking over my mind.
But I'll always regret healing myself...
Not only did I hurt you.
It confirmed all their fears.
I could hear the whispers in their rooms when Scott, Jean, Storm and the Professor got you to the Medical lab. And even when you were brought back to your room they were still whispering.
Nobody stayed to check on ME, Logan.
Nobody cared enough to even ask me if I was okay.
So I ran...
I ran and who found me?
Not Scott...
Not Storm...
YOU...
You found me Logan.
You found me and you promised me that you'd look out for me.
That you'd protect me.
And I suppose you did...
Magneto grabbed me right from your side and you came to my rescue. Once again.
There are not a lot of mutants that can take you down,
but that night you faced the three most dangerous ones.
Just for me...
You fought Sabretooth, who just like you can't be killed, or so we thought... Cause you found a way, a way to kill him so you could get to me...
You don't know it, but I saw your fight with Sabretooth.
The determination to get to me in time to save me...
It made me feel cared for, worth fighting for.
Nobody has fought for me since I left home Logan.
NOBODY!
But you did...
And even after you managed to kill Sabretooth, you didn't stop...
After risking your life in a fight with Sabretooth, you risked it again in a fight with Magneto.
Magneto, who could have killed you without a second thought.
Still you flew up to the torch to me and you faced him and somehow you won.
I don't even know how you managed to survive that fight... let alone win it.
When I saw you suffering, I just, I stopped fighting Logan...
I thought that if I was gone there would be no more reason for you to fight. There would be no more reason for you to hurt...
But the next thing I remember is fear and pain filling me.
Your fear.
Your pain.
Fear that you weren't going to be enough to save me...
The pain that I inflicted on you when my skin turned on...
I was so shocked when I saw you lying at my feet.
Covered in blood, knowing I did that to you.
While you were unconscious in the medical lab I was in your room. Sitting in the corner, with my arms wrapped around myself.
None of the other kids came near me.
None of the teachers cared.
So I sat there, alone, for days, rocking myself, trying desperately to get both you and Erik under control without sacrificing myself.
Hoping you'd come for me...
You never did...
When you finally woke up yesterday I felt it.
The you inside my head finally relaxed its tight grip it had on my psyche. As if he knew you were awake again. As if he knew he could stop worrying so much about protecting me, knowing you would.
So I came down to the medical lab.
Hoping you'd save me from my loneliness...
My isolation...
But you didn't...
Jean told you about my obvious crush.
Not only did you deny my heart, but you denied me yours, Logan.
You told her your heart didn't belong to me.
That I have no right to love you... but I do... I love you Logan...
And it pains me to no end that I'll never get a chance to look you in your eyes and say those words.
Those words my heart screams at you every day:
I. LOVE. YOU.
Logan,
You've saved my life countless times.
You saved me from the road, Sabretooth, death by claws, Sabretooth again, Magneto...
But when it really mattered to me... you denied me.
Logan,
I'm sorry I'm not stronger.
I know I should be, but I'm not...
The dog tags you gave me and the two promises you made are not enough to fight back the loneliness.
They are not enough to fight back the pain of being the outcast that nobody wants...
Nobody even looks at twice...
I know they should be... but they aren't... not anymore...
You showed me what it feels like to be cared for...
To be considered worth fighting for...
To love someone like I love you...
I know I should accept my reality and move on.
But I can't...
I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry Logan...
I love you...
Your Marie…
Tiny teardrops trickling down from Logan's face, added more smudges to Marie's last, precious words.
The already stained and soiled letter deteriorated more and more every time Logan read the letter, not that it mattered, because by now he knew her words by heart.
They echoed through his mind like a mantra, playing his guilt with every heartbeat.
The letter Marie had written before she had released her own claws...
The claws that he had forced upon her after the Statue of Liberty incident.
Before she had taken of all of her clothes and stepped into her
bath tub...
Wearing nothing but his dog tags...
It had been 37 years since he had heard the Professors panicked
call demanding his return to the mansion ... to her.
It had been 37 years since he couldn't save her... didn't save her.
"I love you too Marie..."
He pressed a kiss on the old letter.
It had been 37 years and the pain and guilt only got stronger
every year.
"God, baby…I love you too…"