It happened again. Only this time, Peter wasn't the only one to be turned into a baby.
So was Tony.
And he was testing what was left of Stephen's patience.
The sorcerer already lost a good amount of it when the spell of a training apprentice (not his) went haywire. Neither she or the master she was training under knew how she had gotten from a fire spell to a de-aging one, so it was up to the Sorcerer Supreme to find a way to reverse it. Except, two babies were a lot more work than one. One wanted to cling, and the other constantly wandered off so he could never sit down long enough to actually look into the reversal spell.
Three guesses to who the wandering child was.
Stephen wanted to just lay down and die, but he instead drops his book onto the table with a exasperated sigh (he had returned to the tower so the two affected wouldn't get hit by another spell), and stands up when something crashes.
"I swear to the Vishanti, you are bad enough as my husband. You will not be my child too!" Stephen shouts as he makes his way to the living room. Thankfully, Peter was content to glue himself to the sorcerer's hip and suck his thumb, and most importantly stay out of trouble.
Small mercies.
Stephen turns the corner into the living room to find a shattered vase on the floor, something he didn't even realize they had, and baby Tony sitting nearby trying to rip open the tv remote. Leave it to a child to find things they can break. If this was how he really was as a baby, Maria Stark must have had the patience of a saint. The doctor had barely been home with Tony and Peter for an hour and he already wanted to duct tape his age reduced husband to the wall.
"Tony, you are a walking hazard." Stephen confiscates the remote when the engineer manages to pop the back open, and uses his magic to put the vase back together and out of the way.
"Hey!" The miniaturized Stark yells.
"I'm not risking you shoving batteries up your nose. That seems like something you might have done at this age."
Stephen leans over and scoops Tony up into one arm, carrying him back toward the kitchen until the elevator wooshes open and Rhodey and Loki step out. They both freeze at the sorcerer's burdens and Rhodey bursts into laughter seconds later. Loki just looked at the toddlers warily.
"Oh you think this is funny?" Stephen asks furiously before shoving Tony at Rhodey. "You get to watch him now."
"Hey! Wait! I didn't sign up for this! I barely survived college with him!" Rhodey holds the baby engineer out at arms length and Tony gives him a mischievous smile.
"Neither did I! If Peter wasn't behaving, this tower would be up in flames! He's being a little shit and making finding a reversal spell extremely difficult!" Stephen exhales sharply.
Colonel Rhodes relents wordlessly and takes Tony back into the living room while Loki eyes Peter softly. "Shall I take the Spider-Cub?"
Stephen rubs his eyes. Peter was behaving and barely bothered him, but being able to put his full attention on a reversal spell would make things go faster. He didn't want to deal with two babies for more than a few hours if he could help it. If it was just Peter, this wouldn't be a problem at all. In fact, he would secretly extend the time looking for a cure just to keep baby Peter around a little longer.
He was cute.
"Sure. He should be alright with Legos, just make sure he doesn't put any in his mouth or anything like that." The god of mischief nods and holds out his arms for Peter, but the boy whines and clings onto Stephen even more.
"Stay with Mama!"
Stephen sighs. "Please go play with Uncle Loki and Uncle Rhodey. Then I can fix you and your father faster."
With a bit of willpower, he resists the puppy eyes directed at him and Peter hangs his head. "Okay."
He reaches out for Loki, who takes him gently and joins the colonel in the living room, and Stephen visibly deflates. The puppy eyes were bad enough when Peter was a teenager, but on baby Peter? Ten times more effective and just as hard to resist. They were a dangerous weapon indeed and he felt a little sorry for Rhodey and Loki. They didn't have as much practice as he did with resisting them.
Scott and Clint would probably be better options to help with the babies but he would only call for them if Loki and Rhodey couldn't handle it.
"FRIDAY, let me know if Colonel Rhodes or Loki get overwhelmed."
"Yes doctor."
Three hours passed and Stephen barely started on a possible spell to fix his family when FRIDAY alerted him that Rhodey had somewhere to be. The sorcerer kind of believed it but at the same time knew how much trouble Tony could get into, so that was probably a factor as well. He didn't blame him one bit.
So he decided a break was necessary and returned to the living room...just to burst into laughter at what he found. It wasn't Peter still calmly playing with his Legos with Loki sitting in front of him on the floor (that was rather cute actually), it was the fact that Rhodey had done what Stephen wanted to do in the first place.
He duct taped Tony to the wall.
"I'm tapped out Strange. I can see why you were frustrated."
That only made Stephen laugh harder. In just a few seconds he was bent over, he could hardly breathe, and tears were rolling down his face. If it were any other child, he would not be happy about it, but it was Tony. It was also blackmail material.
"FRIDAY, I want pictures and video of Tony as long as he's a baby. This is perfect for future blackmail." Stephen says when his laughter finally tapers off to chuckles.
"Way ahead of you." The AI responds smugly.
"I really do have somewhere to be...and I really don't want to be on diaper duty." Rhodey says.
Loki nods. "As much as I like Peter...I share the colonel's sentiment."
Stephen waves at them. "Peter is no problem, and Tony is just sooner than I thought."
Rhodey snorts. "I don't envy you Strange. Anyway, just give me a call when he's back to normal. Not a minute before."
"Thank you Rhodey."
"I'll be sure to let him know how much of a lucky bastard he is to have you." The colonel says before leaving the family floor.
Stephen grabs the baby supplies left over from the last incident, thankful that he had the mind to keep everything in case something like this ever happened again, and was quick to change Peter. Once he was freshened up, Loki took him back and the sorcerer stands to regard the pouting child taped to the wall. He had half a mind to leave him there, but a dirty diaper wasn't exactly healthy or comfortable to sit in. He could always tape him back to the wall and call Clint or Scott to take over so he could go back to the spell.
Maybe both. Scott could watch Tony and Clint could make them something to eat.
It was nice having the Avengers. Depending on a situation, they could be a reliable clean up crew, or a babysitting service.
"You know...I didn't think I would be changing your diapers for at least another thirty years."
"Want down!" The captive baby yells.
"Don't yell at me or I'll leave you there dirty diaper and all."
Tony frowns. "Please."
"That's better." Stephen frees him and asks FRIDAY to call up Clint and Scott (if they were available) as he changes baby Tony's diaper with just a little bit of awkwardness. "I love you...but this is still a little weird. I will forever hold this over your head."
Loki looks over at him and smiles. "You and me both."
"I give you full permission." The doctor says as he finishes and Tony climbs onto the couch and turns on the tv.
With any luck, he would behave for a couple of hours. Both Clint and Scott arrive just a couple minutes later, and Stephen points at the child on the couch.
"You two are on babysitting duty. Clint, I suggest making them something to eat."
They both stare at Tony, barely giving Peter a glance. "Is that...?" Clint starts.
"A mini demon? Quite possibly." Stephen answers. "He's actually behaving so enjoy it while it lasts. Loki has Peter covered for now."
"I'm babysitting Tony Stark." Scott sighs. "Yippee."
The sorcerer reminds the archer to start on food since the babies would no doubt get hungry soon, and returns to the master bedroom to continue working on the reversal spell. After a little over an hour passes and Stephen is close to finishing the spell, Clint opens the door after knocking, bringing in a crying Peter. They were more tired whimpers than actual crying, and when the Spider-Baby rubs his eyes, it only confirmed what Stephen suspected. Peter was tired, and refused to sleep unless one of his parents were holding him. Since Tony wasn't an available option, Stephen was the go to parent.
"Scott and I both tried but he's fighting. Loki had to go help Thor with something after lunch."
"How's Tony?"
"Don't get mad, but I had to duct tape him to the wall. I have kids and never once even thought about it with them, but Tony keeps trying to tear everything apart and he broke a vase-"
"Again?" Stephen takes Peter from the archer and the boy almost instantly passes out against his shoulder, making Clint throw his hands up.
"Twenty minutes with us. Two seconds with you. He's a total Mama's Boy."
"We had this issue last time. He wouldn't sleep without me or Tony. Speaking of, Rhodey beat you to the duct tape idea earlier."
"His mother must have had infinite patience. Are you almost done?"
"A few more minutes." Stephen assures.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but adult Stark is so much easier to deal with."
Clint leaves the room and Stephen carefully adjusts Peter's arms so the boy would stick to him. Once that was taken care of, it only took the doctor about twenty minutes to complete the spell. He rises slowly, so not to jostle Peter, and joins Barton and Lang in the living room to find Tony still taped to the wall and Scott throwing candy into Clint's mouth.
"If you were watching anybody but Tony, I would be extremely upset."
"Hey! We were nice to Peter!" Scott complains.
"Peter is an easy baby."
"Stark is the spawn of Satan." Clint mutters.
Stephen smirks. "I'm aware. Trust me."
After double-checking that Peter is still gripping onto him, Stephen gestures both hands to create his spell and then sends it at a Tony with one. In a flash, the engineer in adult form is left taped to the wall and he glares down at his bindings.
"What the hell?!" Tony looks up at the other three men and soon notices the sleeping baby on Stephen's shoulder. "Is that Peter?"
"Yes. Do you not remember anything?" The sorcerer asks.
"Last thing I remember was Kamar-Taj." The billionaire frowns.
"A spell hit you and Peter and turned you into babies."
"You were a nightmare Stark." Clint grumbles. "The duct tape was necessary."
Tony pulls himself away from the wall and tears the duct tape off his clothes. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. My mom had a few stories."
"I have proof love." Stephen says. "I'm going to hold this over your head for years."
Tony rolls his eyes. "What about Peter?"
Stephen smiles and holds one hand to the remaining baby's head and the other under his bottom. "I think I'll keep him like this a little while longer."
"I think you're tapping into your maternal instinct a little too much babe." Tony says with a smirk. "But Underoos is a cute baby so I'll let it slide."
"I wasn't asking your permission." Stephen deadpans.
"I demand we get paid for putting up with your bullshit Tony." Scott says.
"You can order take-out."
"We'll take what we can get." Clint says in response and he and Scott scramble to the kitchen to find the take-out menus.
Tony crumples up the large wad of duct tape and then pauses when the baby on Stephen's shoulder sneezes. Peter had cute sneezes as a teen, but with a baby face, it was three times cuter and made both parents pathetic simpering fools.
"Gimme." Tony holds out his hands (Stephen being one of the very few who can hand him things. Peter, Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper being the others.) and Stephen turns his occupied shoulder away.
"My cub."
"You've had him all day!"
"That's not true. I've only had him for an hour and a half all together today."
"Still longer than me. Hand him over Stephanie. Don't make me get the crowbar."
"Don't make me turn you back into a baby and dump you on Clint and Scott." Stephen threatens.
Said men practically scream 'No!' from the kitchen.
What Tony thought would be the rest of the day, turned out to be longer and a more crowded bed. He and Stephen may have had a king-sized bed but every bit of the engineer's subconscious kept him from sleeping properly. Why?
Because Peter was still a baby, and he and Stephen were practically inseparable.
They couldn't in good conscious leave a baby by himself in another room, but that problem could have been easily fixed if his wife would just change Peter back.Tony didn't know what possessed Stephen to selfishly keep the vigilante a baby, but he wasn't going to complain just yet. Seeing his lover curled protectively around their son in the bed next to him was a rare sight and really cute. He may have already asked his AI to take some pictures to print out for Peter's photo album.
Now he was just waiting for them to wake up. Tony was tempted to sneak Peter away just so he could have some baby time for himself, but Stephen was in Mama Bear Mode. Just thinking about taking Peter was risky and Tony really didn't want to free-fall for a couple of hours. He would leave that for the rest of the team to experience. They all liked baby Peter and Tony kind of wanted to see if they would take the risk and try to get close.
Blue eyes snap open when the baby hidden against Stephen's chest (and covered with a strong arm) sneezes, and Peter slowly blinks brown eyes open.
"Hungry." Peter mumbles.
Tony chuckles. "You're always hungry Underoos. We can have waffles but Mama Bear has to let you go." He says as he stands up.
"Fat chance." Stephen grumbles but Peter was already wiggling out of the sorcerer's hold.
"Well it looks like the promise of food wins over cuddles with Mom for once." Tony grins as he picks up the baby when he outstretches his arms.
"Traitorous cub." The doctor huffs. There was no bite to it of course. Just excessive fondness.
After a diaper change, Tony takes Peter out if the master bedroom and into the kitchen to start on the promised waffles, and distracts him with strawberry slices while they cook. In the few minutes they had, Peter already had sticky strawberry covered hands, and offered them up to Pepper when she walks in from the hallway.
"Pepper! S'rawberry!" Peter squeals from his spot on the counter.
"She can't have those baby. They make her sick." Tony says calmly as he places the finished waffle on a plate for Peter.
The two-year-old stares at his strawberry fingers with a bit of confusion but surprisingly it's replaced with understanding. "Oh."
Pepper smiles. "Thank you for offering Peter." She turns to Tony and holds up a handful of papers. "I need you to read these and sign them."
The engineer groans. "Can't you see I'm having baby bonding time?"
"I heard Stephen found a way to fix that. You're back to normal."
"Stephanie's being selfish and leaving his cub a baby so he can snuggle him."
Pepper rolls her eyes and points at Stephen when the man finally emerges from the bedroom, freshly showered. "Turn poor Peter back to normal! How long has he been like that?"
Stephen turns bright red, and turns his head to mutter under his breath.
"What was that?" Pepper asks.
The sorcerer clears his throat and sighs heavily. "...four days."
Pepper whips her head to look at Tony, who was still making waffles. "Tony! You let this happen?!"
"In my defense...my wife is a wizard."
The CEO groans and turns back to the sorcerer. "Change him back. Right now. I can't believe I'm saying this to you!"
Apparently Mama Bear could be quelled by Pepper Potts. She was really the only one who didn't cower under Stephen's glares, and actually returned them with a few of her own. So, with another heavy sigh, the sorcerer forms his spell and sends it at Peter, leaving his teen form sitting confused on the counter after the flash fades. The boy looks around the kitchen with furrowed eyebrows before finally looking at his closest parent.
The one making waffles.
"Uh...how did I get here? Weren't we at Kamar-Taj with Mom?"
"Yup."
"But now I'm here? I would ask if I passed out but then I wouldn't be on the counter..." The teen starts rambling and the engineer takes the opportunity to shove a piece of waffle in his open mouth. "Oh! This is good."
The three adults stare as Peter asks for more and then studies his hands when he finally realizes how sticky they are. Food really was a fantastic distraction. Peter tended to go with the flow of things ever since he moved into the tower, since crazy things happened on a nearly daily basis.
"What's on my hands?"
"Strawberries."
"Huh." Peter hops down from the counter and washes his hands in the sink. "So what happened?"
Tony lays another finished waffle on top of the previous one. "The spell of a wizard student went wonky and hit the two of us. It turned us into babies."
Peter laughs at the idea of Tony being a baby but then tilts his head. "I don't remember anything this time. How long did it last?"
"I was only a baby for a few hours."
"As for you," Pepper finally says. "I would ask your mother." She places the papers in her hand on the table. "Sign those Tony!"
"Yeah, yeah."
The engineer waves her out of the kitchen, and when the three males are left alone, Peter raises an eyebrow at Stephen who coughs uncomfortably under his inquisitive gaze. He didn't really think his selfish decision through. He just knew that he wanted to take advantage of Peter being a baby while he could. Now he had to admit to his son that he was the reason he stayed a baby. When he found out how long though...
...one bridge at a time.
Peter eventually shrugs when Stephen remains silent. "No big deal." The teen leaves the kitchen, probably in search of his phone, and that's when the sorcerer finally panicked. He would see the date on the phone-"IT'S BEEN FOUR DAYS?!"
Tony sniggers at his husband's rapidly paling face over the last of the waffle batter. "Regretting your decision?"
"...a bit."
The teen charges back into the kitchen. "How come I was a baby for four freaking days?!"
"Mama Bear wanted a cub." Tony claims around a bite of waffles.
Peter looks up at Stephen incredulously. "You...you left me like that on purpose?"
Stephen rubs his eyes. "It was only meant to be an extra day...and I got a bit carried away. I'm sorry cub."
Peter's mouth opens and closes comically in surprise and disbelief, but then exhales dramatically before accepting a plate stacked with waffles from Tony. He sits on a bar stool and shovels his breakfast into his mouth, completely ignoring Stephen's look of remorse, and he drops his shoulders when the man grabs his own plate and sits at the table. An awkward silence hangs in the air as the family eats their breakfast, and Tony eventually pulls out his phone, taps on it a few times, then slides it over to Peter. The teen swallows his mouthful of food, looks down at the picture on the screen, and practically caved in on the smallest bit of anger he had.
It was a picture of the position Stephen and baby Peter were in just a little while ago, and even the teen had to admit it was cute. He could kind of understand why the sorcerer wanted to keep him a baby for a little bit longer, and even in a photo Peter could see that Mama Bear was out. Stephen normally slept on his back or his stomach, but he was on his side in the picture and he was visibly protecting his cub from the outside.
"Man...I can't stay mad about that."
Tony snorts. "The day you stay mad about something is the day I start going to bed at a reasonable hour."
Peter grabs a whole strawberry before turning and throwing it at Stephen. "Don't do it again!"
The sorcerer dodges the fruit and uses his magic to hold a few in the air as he turns to regard the teen with a soft smile.
"I make no promises."
"Understandable." Peter says as he grabs more strawberries and Tony waves his hands around.
"Hey! I don't have anyone in line for clean up duty! If you make a mess, you have to clean it up!"
Peter and Stephen glance at Tony then back to each other and grin.
"Worth it." They say unanimously.
The strawberry war started and Tony fled the room. He wasn't going to be part of the impending disaster that would need to be cleaned up.