You know how sometimes you can have something that you love, and then someone else decides to shit on your parade and ruin it? There are always those people that like to suck the fun out of everything. I think that's happened to everyone at some point. Go on, think about it. I bet you all have an example. Maybe you watched that youtube video where it seemed like a lion was 'protecting' a gazelle from another lion, only to later find out that he was just guarding his lunch. All you have to do is scan through the comments. People will always try to see the negative in any given situation, even if there isn't any. Why? Because people suck. I remember going to this beach as a kid. Don't remember the name, it wasn't that big of a deal in my childhood. It was nice, we had fun. Clean water. Big waves. Decent hotdogs. We went back, years later. The beach was littered with doritos bags and soda cans. Yeah. People suck.
But no, I'm not talking about polluted beaches. You see that everywhere. I'm not talking about the "Damn nature, you scary" videos either. No, what I'm talking about will probably destroy your fondest childhood memories forever…if you can even believe me, that is. Nothing, and I mean nothing in this world is as it seems.
It was Friday, November 13, 2006. It had only been three years since I had met my tragic end due to a flying toilet seat inferno. For the most part, things were the same as they had been for the past three years. I headed to the Waffle House for breakfast with the others, like always. Nothing unusual. I mean…I'd been through a lot of weird stuff as a reaper, but most of it was pretty standard. You have your suicides, your explosions, accidents, you know. "Normal" ways that people kick the bucket. And there'd been some pretty weird deaths, and I'd experienced a lot of weird shit, but this was just unbelievable. I was in a great mood that day. It was just one of those days where you wake up and everything is perfect…the sun is shining, your hair looks great, it was just a good day. I slid in the booth across from Rube with a smile on my face, ready for whatever today was going to bring me. Or so I thought.
"Morning, Peanut."
He said as he looked down at his notebook. He then looked up to meet my gaze and smiled.
"Good mood today? Nice to see you smile. "
"Thanks!"
I tilted my head to the side and grinned at him. Okay, good mood or not, this was overkill. I opened the menu and scanned my options. As if on schedule, Kiffany came over with a pot of hot coffee. I love this place.
"Good morning. Coffee?"
"Yes pleaseeeee"
I held out the cup that was already waiting for me.
"Where are the others?"
I asked, then darted my head to the direction of the door. Daisy walked in, followed closely by Mason…then Roxie trailed in after. As usual, Mason and Daisy were having some "deep" conversation about nothing, and Roxie was trying to act like she didn't even know them. Smart. I should try that some time.
"Good morning!"
I said cheerfully. Daisy and Mason squeezed in beside me while Roxie sat next to Rube. She gave me a look.
"Why the hell are you so cheerful?"
She asked me in that special "Roxie" tone. Ah, Roxie. I shrugged and looked back at my menu.
"Nice to see you too."
Rube said as he smiled at her. She rolled her eyes.
"Oh Roxie, leave her alone. I think it's wonderful that Georgia is in a good mood today. It's so rare, why question it?"
Daisy gave me a reassuring smile. I nodded.
"THANK you Daisy. Is it so hard to believe that today is just a good day?"
And for a while, things were pretty standard. Rube ordered his huge breakfast of eggs, sausage, bacon, you name it. Roxie had French toast. Daisy got a bowl of fruit. Mason worked on getting money from Daisy so that he could order an omelet. I got my oatmeal with raisins. Yep. Pretty normal morning.
"Okay Rube, can we get this over with now? Some of us have day jobs to attend to."
Roxie held out her hand.
"Come on, let's get to it."
And Rube handed out our post its, like he always did. The first thing I liked to do when I got my new assignment was check the time. I always hated when I had to rush out after breakfast. 5 AM. Huh. What do you know, today really was my day! No one was going to die today. I grinned even wider when I saw it. The rest of the group apparently didn't have the same luck.
"What are YOU so happy about? What is she so happy about?"
Mason whined as he dropped his post it to the table.
"What's so great about your assignment?"
I turned around the post it to show him. His eyes went wide.
"Bloody hell! Finally!"
He perked right up and snatched the post it from my hand.
"Hey!"
I exclaimed.
"You have your own!"
I reached over Daisy and tried to grab it back.
Daisy sat there, ignoring the two of us while Roxie leaned back and folded her arms across her chest.
"What the hell are you doing?"
She stared at us.
"Allow me to read our little Georgia's assignment."
Mason cleared his throat.
"Name, Michael 'Mike' Schmidt." Time of death, 5 AM."
He then waited for dramatic pause, his eyes darting between Rube's, Daisy's, and Roxie's.
"YEAH? So? Get on with it!"
Roxie kicked him under the table and Rube chuckled. Mason yelped and grabbed his leg, but not before Roxie snatched the post it out of his hands.
"Stupid ass…"
She glared at him, and then she read the post it herself.
"Ha! Another death at Freddy's. I knew this would be happening soon."
And she pulled out a little notebook from her jacket. By now, I was completely confused. Daisy simply shook her head, her concentration focused on peeling her grapes. I looked around the table a few times, I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
"Can someone please explain to me why this assignment is sooo fascinating?"
I reached across the table and grabbed the post it. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me. Some guy named Mike was going to keel over at 5 AM at some pizza place. What's the big deal?
"You mean you don't know?"
Daisy asked, surprised. The three of them stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Rube was absorbed in the big piece of pecan pie Kiffany just brought over. This was one of the things that pissed me off. I was the newest member of the club I never asked to join, so I was still out of the loop on some stuff. Apparently there was something interesting about this pizza place.
"Know what? Spit it out already!"
Now I was aggravated. There goes this perfect day. I folded my arms and slumped back against the booth.
"Ah, there's the Georgia we know and love."
Daisy smiled and I scoffed.
"Freddy's Fazbear pizza is a family establishment that was opened in...let's see, the late 70's? Early 80's? It was a big hit with the children, due to their singing mascots. Hmm…"
She lifted her fist and looked up in thought.
"There was Freddy the bear, of course….Chica the Chicken…Bonnie the Rabbit…"
She extended a finger with each name she said. I raised an eyebrow. Mason was tapping his foot impatiently.
"FOXY THE FOX!"
He blurted out, excited.
"Tell her about the bite of '87!"
Okay, I needed more coffee. This was getting pretty weird.
"The…what?"
I looked at Rube for help. Still eating his pie. Great.
"One of the mascots 'malfunctioned' or some shit and bit someone in the head. It was all over the news. They closed down for a while after that. Bit right through his skull. Chewed up part of his brain..."
Roxie explained as she took out a pen.
"It was Foxy."
Mason added.
"He is definitely the most brutal out of the four of them. 'Course there's really five of them if you count…"
But he was silenced by Roxie's glare. He smiled sheepishly and she continued.
"Anyway…years later, 5 kids were murdered at the restaurant. They caught the guy, but never found the bodies. Rumor has it that he stuffed them into the mascots…and now the restaurant is haunted by their spirits. Apparently they control the characters to do shit. They have a new security guard every week. They go ape shit at night. Or, you could believe the other theory…that their programming is just whacked out and some wires are crossed, but either way…if one of them catches you after hours, you're gonna get stuffed in one of those suits."
She shrugged.
"I don't know what's going on in that place, but whatever it is, it's fucked up. I don't know how they haven't been closed down yet, but I heard they're going under soon. 'Family friendly place' my ass."
She clicked her pen and looked down at her notebook.
"Okay, now place your bets."
She looked at Mason, then Daisy.
"Wait. What? Let me get this straight first…"
I leaned forward in the booth, trying to wrap my head around things.
"You're telling me that there are these magical, murderous puppets that come alive at night and kill people? Are you shitting me? Is this some kind of joke?"
I looked at all four of them. Expressionless. Daisy and Mason exchanged glances.
"Uh, okay, so you expect me to believe that, what, this is like some kind of fucked up version of Sesame Street? I'm really not getting this."
Mason rolled his eyes and leaned over Daisy to explain. She leaned back against the booth and sighed.
"Georgie, no! These are not puppets we're talking about! We're talking about machines! Highly sophisticated animatronics! With artificial intelligence and everything! They can think!"
He tapped the side of his head to illustrate the point. I was unconvinced.
"These robots can walk, they can run, they can see. They can – "
"Chomp down on an unsuspecting patron's skull. I heard."
I interrupted.
"Did you really think you could get me to believe this? Whose idea was this? Mason? Daisy? Roxie?"
None of them answered. There was a moment of silence, then Roxie repeated.
"Okay, place your bets."
I rolled my eyes and threw myself back against the booth. Hopeless. Mason was enjoying himself, at least.
"Well you know who I always go for. Foxy. He – She, whatever! I don't discriminate – is the best. The smartest, the fastest, the most dangerous –"
Roxie rolled her eyes and held up her hand.
"Foxy it is. Daisy?"
Daisy dabbed her face with her napkin and cleared her throat lightly.
"Well, I think you know my choice."
Mason and Roxie let out audible groans.
"Every time, you choose the rabbit. It's never the damn rabbit."
Mason patted her arm gently.
"You know I hate to agree with Roxie love, but it's true. At this point you may as well just flush your money down the toilet."
Daisy shrugged her shoulders lightly.
"Well I happen to think you all underestimate her. And who am I to break tradition?"
Roxie rolled her eyes and wrote down the bets. I was still confused.
"Who are you voting for, Roxie?"
Mason was really hyped up. Even for Mason. And that's saying something.
"Freddy of course."
Roxie got this sly smile on her face that kind of creeped me out. I mean, if everything they said was true, they were betting on which one of these 'haunted robots' was going to kill this guy by stuffing him into an animatronic suit. Talk about disturbing. Mason rolled his eyes and the two of them got into an argument. I put my head on the table. I caught bits of the conversation…Foxy was so fast! But Freddy was smarter. Foxy was predictable, but Freddy was too slow. Eventually, the talk died down and, when I felt it was safe, I came back up for air.
"So what about you, Rube? You gonna bet this time?"
Roxie smirked at him. She already knew the answer. Rube just shook his head. Mason was too amped up to just let it die.
"Oh come on Rube. Have a guess at it. Will it be…Chica, in the kitchen, with the fork? Or…Foxy, in Pirate's Cove, with the sword? Arrrr!" He did his best pirate impression, and even held up his hand like it was a hook. Oh brother.
"You're a fuckin' idiot."
Rube replied simply with a small shoulder shrug. I nodded. Today's breakfast was confusing, annoying, and, okay. I guess it was kind of interesting. I wasn't getting the answers I was looking for, so I figured I'd have to research this "Freddy Fazbears" place and find out some more information. I mean, killer animatronics in a pizza place? There had to be at least a few articles on that. I slammed down my money and motioned for Daisy and Mason to leave the booth so that I could leave. But I had to speak my mind first.
"Tomorrow at 5 AM, I'm going to reap someone's soul. According to all of you, he's going to get killed by some haunted animal robot. Maybe a bunny, maybe a fox. Maybe you're all just fucking nuts! But whatever. I am going to find out as much about this place as possible, because none of you have been any help."
I turned around to leave.
"Peanut?"
Rube called. I rolled my eyes and turned back around.
"He speaks."
I grumbled. 'Bout time.
"What?"
"Make sure you get there tonight. Before midnight."
I looked confused.
"The night guard shift is from 12 AM, to 6 AM. Once they enter the restaurant, they don't come out."
"Ever again…"
Roxie whispered…and she and Mason laughed.
Rube gave them both a look, then continued.
"You'll want to remove the soul before he starts his shift if you can, if not…it might be difficult for you to get inside. But, as you know…it's not preferable to remove a soul that far in advance…"
Oh, great. I sighed and turned away again.
"Peanut."
I groaned.
"WHAT?"
Rube tossed me a key.
"Just in case."
I guess Freddy's Fazbear pizza was such a well-known reap spot for a while, that Rube actually got a copy of their key. Wow. Who knew a haunted Chuck E Cheese would be such a hot commodity for the afterlife. I headed back to my house and pulled out my computer. Time to research this shit. Who knows, maybe I could get in on the bet, too. I could use a little extra cash. Being a reaper doesn't exactly pay the bills.
