Comfy Little Crypt for Two
A/N: This is set during the events of the episode 'Potential' in S7 when Spike and Buffy took the Potentials on a little field trip. They locked them up with a vampire in a crypt and then shut the doors on them. It got me to thinking...What would they talk about while waiting for the girls to stake the vamp? Especially after that "Comfy" comment....
Buffy and Spike slammed the doors to the crypt with a sense of finality. Buffy was concerned that maybe this wasn't the right way to go about it. One brief hand squeeze from Spike put her mind to rest. This was the right thing. The Potentials had to learn to work as a team and as individuals in the fight against evil without relying on her.
Still, it pained her to hear them yelling from inside.
She didn't want them dead. She just wanted them aware of their strength.
Spike understood her reluctance to leave them inside and so he tried to change her focus by starting up a conversation "So, nice night for a stroll..."
Buffy's brow furrowed "Nice try to distract me"
"Worked for a second though, didn't it?" He smiled slightly and leaned against the mausoleum.
The Slayer smiled, fleetingly. She heard a crash from inside the crypt. She turned to it and started towards it but ground her heels into the mud. Instead she turned and walked to a nearby gravestone. Buffy pulled herself up and sat on it. She was short enough that her feet didn't touch the ground. Sometimes she resented her height, others she was grateful for it. Not that that was particularly relevant to anything going on around her tonight. Spike was right, she needed to distract herself.
She looked at him "New shirt?"
He looked down at himself. The plain black shirt he was wearing was new and it for some reason it pleased him that she noticed. It wasn't like his wardrobe was plentiful or anything.
Spike nodded "Yeah. What do you think – is it me?" He mock posed for her.
She smiled again, this time it lasted longer "Anything black is you, Spike"
"I have been known to differ colours"
"Right. The red shirt. When you were evil" Buffy nodded, distractedly.
Spike arched an eyebrow "You remember my shirts? I didn't realise you paid so much attention to my fashion sense, luv. 'Specially not when we were meant to be mortal enemies"
Buffy looked up at him and rolled her eyes. He was goading her. He always did. Friendly banter to put her at ease. Truth be told she enjoyed it. Especially when she got the last word.
The Slayer shrugged "It's not like you ever changed your clothes. How could I not remember it?"
He clutched a hand to his heart as if that comment had stung and she laughed a little. Even after seven years, a whole bunch of angst and a soul Spike still treated Buffy essentially as he always had. Okay, he wasn't trying to kill her anymore but he still liked the word fights they got into. Only Spike had ever been an equal partner for bantering. Sure, Xander could be funny, Willow could be sweet, even Giles had his moments but...but Spike knew her, knew what she was about and that was why his comments always stung the worst...
"You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends"
Or tugged at her heart strings...
"I know you'll never love me. I know I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man"
Or just downright annoyed her...
"You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied? You know, I really hope so, because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides shagging Captain Cardboard! And I never really liked you anyway. And you have stupid hair!"
Buffy smiled thinking back on all the things he had said to her. Even the things that had hurt. She had to appreciate the accuracy with which he could use words to push her buttons. Even if it did make her want to throttle him sometimes. His words were almost poetic. William the Bloody a poet? Yeah, and hell had just frozen over.
Spike pushed off the wall of the crypt and took a step towards her "Somethin' funny, luv?"
The Slayer shook her head "Just getting all nostalgic. Ignore me if I start humming 'Misty Water-Colored Memories'"
He smiled a little "Nostalgia about the comfyness of my crypt, I'd wager"
She rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling a little "Oh, get over it. So, I said it was comfy, so what? I say that about Mr.Gordo too!"
"Who?" Spike frowned.
She laughed "No one"
He walked up to her, leaned his hands on either side of the gravestone she was sitting on, which made her stuck in-between his hands "You know, the old crypt is only a few yards over. Fancy a little excursion?"
"No," Buffy said softly, trying not to be too charmed by the half-grin on his face "I have a responsibility to my girls"
"Oh, so they're your girls now?" Spike arched an eyebrow.
She smiled "They are ours. Didn't you notice how they all looked up to you? Daddy Spike"
Spike chuckled and stepped away from her "If you're goin' to call me that I suggest we do it somewhere a little more private"
Buffy frowned, then got it "Eww, Spike. That is too gross, even for you"
"Yeah, well...gotta get my kicks somehow" He shrugged "And 'sides, I would not make a good dad. Far too selfish...also the lack of little guys down there"
The Slayer nodded "Me too. Oh! Not with the little guys because...well, I don't..."
Spike grinned at her.
"Right" Buffy was flustered now "What I meant was – Slayer, not the best occupation to have children with. I mean what would I do when it was 'take your child to work day'? Hand them a stake and tell 'em to watch out for anyone sporting bad teeth and a funky smell?"
"Oi" Spike protested.
"What? Oh, well. Not you so much"
He nodded, placated "I smell like roses, thanks ever so"
She snorted "I wouldn't go that far"
"I have you know I shower every week" Spike crossed his arms.
Buffy laughed "You get a gold sticker. Every week? You're supposed to shower at least every other day"
"I'm a vampire. I don't have the usual stinky human smells"
"No, you have corpse smell"
"Hey now!" He walked back up to her "I do not smell of corpses!"
She smiled, tilted her head "No, you don't. That was...unfair of me"
"Thankyou" Spike nodded.
"You smell of that girly perfume you're always borrowing from Andrew!" Buffy grinned.
He threw his hands up in the air "It's aftershave! And it's not my fault he's the only one stupid enough to leave his showering products unprotected! What was I supposed to use? Your vanilla stuff? Dawn's patchouli? Or maybe Willow's cinnamon crap? Not a lot of choice for a bloke"
The Slayer grinned "You could have, oh I don't know, bought some yourself"
"With what? I don't have any soddin' cash" Spike bemoaned "And what with the new soul and you keeping a beady eye on me I can't steal any"
Buffy frowned, insulted "My eyes aren't beady"
"Course they aren't" He grinned.
"They aren't! Mr. Hair Gel!" Buffy cried "Yeah, that's right. Hair gel. You're always being snarky about Angel's hair but you use just as much!"
Spike pointed at her, outraged "I bloody do not!"
Buffy smiled "If you say so, Spikey"
"Don't call me that"
"Oh, so it's okay for you to call me 'luv' and 'pet' but not for me to call you Spikey"
"Yeah, that's about the size of it"
She shrugged slowly "Okay, I'll call you...Billy. As in William. Or Billy Idol"
Spike pouted "I've told you before. He stole the look from me. 'Sides you only call me William when you're about to break my heart"
"I do not" Buffy frown.
"Now, let me think...you called me it when you were telling me to get lost and when you broke up with me. Case in point, luv" He stated.
Buffy looked at him carefully. He remembered all the times she called him William? Just how much did Spike remember about every time they had spoken? He looked back at her and then sighed and walked back over to the crypt, listening at the door.
The Slayer slipped off the gravestone she was sitting on and walked over to stand next to him. She listened to what was going on inside. She could hear crashing and the sounds of the vampire hissing. Those she had expected. The sounds of the potentials letting out war cries and instructing each other what to do – that was what she had been driving for.
She turned to Spike and grinned. He grinned back.
"They grow up so fast" Spike smirked.
"One of those girls could be the next Slayer," Buffy pointed out "They have no choice but to grow up fast"
The vampire nodded "I know. I just don't like to think about that"
"Why not?"
"Because...one of them being the Slayer? Means you aren't around anymore" His voice was soft, carried to her ears on a light breeze.
Buffy reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder. She left it there for a moment before sliding it down his arm and away. She turned away from the door and Spike, twiddling the stake in her hand nervously. And it wasn't just nervousness for the girls. It was for her too. Alone in a cemetery with a vampire she had started to feel very confused about. Nothing was black or white anymore. It was all shades of gray.
"Full moon tonight" Spike observed casually.
It drew her gaze up into the sky. The moon was full and glowed at her. Brought back childhood memories.
"Reminds me of my mom," Buffy said then paused "That and werewolves"
"Why your mum?"
She sighed slowly, shrugged with one shoulder "It's just...when I was little she used to tell me a story. About the moon. How there was a man on the moon. To watch over me and Dawn and everyone else. A protector. She used to say he would keep everyone I cared about from harm. When I asked her why she said 'because it's what he does'"
"Sort of like you" Spike added.
Buffy turned back to him "Yep. Me. The big protector. Locking a group of girls in a crypt with a vampire"
"It's the right thing and we both know it. Hear them in there – they are working as a team and they're learning somethin'" Spike pointed at the door.
She looked him in the eyes "Lesson the first?"
"Somethin' like that" He replied remembering when he had used those same words when talking to her, teaching her something about Slayers.
Buffy looked a few moments more into those blue eyes before she had to look away again. In a way she was glad of the chance to have some time alone to talk to Spike. They had been getting on so much better these days. They made a good team when it came to teaching the girls; she knew it and, apparently, so did her friends. Willow had commented on how Kennedy had praised them both on their techniques of teaching. That compliment made her glow for a little while.
"A vampire attack would really speed things along, eh?" Spike murmured absently.
The Slayer looked at him "Scared of being alone with me, Spike?"
"Not on your life, Slayer" He tilted his head "You?"
"Nope. But if it's a vampire attack you're looking for...you're a vampire; attack me" Buffy waved the stake in front of him "If you think you can that is"
Spike's eyebrows lifted, he licked his lips "A little training, pet?"
"You're good practice," Buffy said, "Until something really dangerous comes along"
She was riling him up and they both knew it. He growled, half-heartedly, and ran at her arms outstretched to grab her. Buffy ducked underneath his arm and as he ran past her still carried by his own momentum she kicked him in the back. Spike sprawled face-first into the ground. Buffy walked over and put her foot on his back.
"I'm disappointed, Spike, I thought you'd put up a better –"
Before she could finish her amusing quip Spike rolled onto his back, grabbed her foot and pushed her back on it with all his strength. The Slayer toppled to the ground onto her ass. She sat up. Spike was on her in a second, wrestling her back down to the ground.
He pinned her by the shoulders as he looked down at her, grinning. No way was he winning this. Buffy brought her leg up and kneed him in the side. Spike let out a deep grunt and rolled off of her onto his back on the ground.
Buffy took the opportunity and climbed on top of him, straddling him. She pressed the stake against his chest.
"Twice I've pinned you..." Buffy started, gloating.
Until she registered the look on his face. One of pain. Then she remembered. From the night before when she had down the same thing. Spike was still injured from his torture session that The First had inflicted on him. And she had just kneed him in the ribs. Now she felt really bad.
"Crap, Spike! I'm sorry, I forgot" She dropped the stake and grabbed the bottom of his shirt "Let me see"
Spike grabbed her hand "De ja vu, Buffy"
"This time I am looking. You're badly hurt"
She brushed his hand away and then pulled up the bottom of his shirt. On his left side was a nasty looking swollen bruise. It was just turning a yellow color and made Buffy wince. She had had a few of those in her time. And worse, of course. Didn't stop every one of them hurting like hell.
"Spike...maybe you should stay at home next time" She whispered.
"No, I'm alright" Spike took her hand in his "I'm not letting this bloody First make me useless as well as it's killing slave"
Buffy looked down at him, at their hand clasped together "You're sure you're okay?"
"Just a bit banged up" He shrugged.
"I really am sorry"
"Sorry enough to let me sweep you off of your feet and whisk you away to my old comfy crypt?" Spike gave her a crook grin, eyebrow arched.
Buffy bit the side of her mouth to stop from smiling too much "If anyone was going to the sweeping it would be me. You're in no condition for heavy lifting"
"Yeah, right. Like you would ever be heavy lifting" Spike put his hand against her stomach "You need to eat something, luv"
"I don't have the time" She replied moving his hand but letting it settle at her side.
Spike looked at her, his eyes soft "I worry about you, some times...all the time. I find myself worrying about you at the strangest times"
"Love makes you do the wacky" Buffy said matter-of-factly.
His brow furrowed "That your own little pearl of wisdom?"
"Willow's"
"Ah. That explains it. She always was bright"
"Oh, and I'm not?" Buffy gave him a look and before he could respond she climbed off of him and stood looking down at him with folded arms "If Willow is so smart why don't you go...be in love with her?"
Spike dragged himself off the floor "Not my type"
"Oh? And what's wrong with Willow?" She got more defensive.
He frowned at her sudden change in attitude "What? Nothin'. She's a nice enough sort. She's just...I don't know..."
"What?" Buffy demanded an answer.
"Well...she's a lesbian" He reminded her.
"Oh" Buffy took a breath, looked down at the floor "Right. Gay Willow"
Spike nudged her with his elbow "She always had a bit of a thing for you"
The Slayer was appalled she slapped him on the arm "She did not!"
"Yeah, you're right. Who'd be crazy enough to fall for you?"
Buffy said nothing she just looked at him.
"Oh, that's right. Only practically the whole of the Scoobies male population" Spike carried on "Angel-breath, Xander, yours truly...and, I always kind of wondered about what you and Giles had going on"
Buffy glared at him "You. Are. So. Gross"
There was a bang from inside the crypt. Buffy and Spike looked at one another and then rushed to the door. Buffy opened the doors just a crack. The vampire was lying dazed on the floor after Molly had cracked him over the head with a nearby statue. The girls all cheered. And were too busy celebrated to see the vampire rise off the floor. Buffy winced when Molly got backhanded across the crypt. But once again the girls were in control.
Spike pulled the door closed, took an un-needed breath "They are definitely displaying your characteristics. Must be the motherly bonding"
"Well, Molly is so your child" Buffy replied.
"Please! That accent...so embellished. I wouldn't be surprised to find she was American. I have never heard a Cockney sound like that in my whole un-dead life" Spike pointed out.
Buffy nodded "I did kind of wonder about that"
"So, got any new girls coming? I really don't fancy them all taking a field trip to watch me sleep again" Spike grumbled.
The Slayer smiled "They were curious"
"About what? Sleeping vampires?"
"Guys. And you were in my bed...so that made them extra curious" Buffy explained to them.
Spike looked confused "I was healing. You were on the couch. You told them about our...past?"
"Not me. I'm betting Dawn" Buffy guessed "And since when did you care if a bunch of girls stared at you? I bet you loved every minute of it"
Spike grumbled.
"Besides, I can't blame them. They are severely lacking in guy choices around here. You are the..." Buffy trailed off before she finished that sentence.
Spike's eyes lit up "I'm the what?"
"Nothing. I have no idea what you're talking about" Buffy took steps backwards away from him "We better listen up for...uh...rogue vampire attacks. Those rogue vampires...troublemakers, for sure"
Spike wasn't letting it go "I'm the what, Buffy?"
"Nothing. Jeez, dog with a bone much" She muttered.
He bit down on his lip and tilted his head, with an amused face. Spike liked that he was getting to her and embarrassing her. Buffy couldn't have that. She couldn't let him win like that. It would be...unsportsmanlike.
"Fine!" She threw her hands up "I was gonna say that you were their best option. But don't think that means anything. All it means is that Giles is too old, and that would be gross, Andrew is a dork, and Xander is..."
"Butt ugly?" He offered with a smirk.
"Still kind of in love with Anya" Buffy finished.
Spike snorted "So in love with her that he treated her like crap. So, I'm their best option? Apart from the fact that I am the most sexy of you all I have to disagree"
Buffy rolled her eyes at the sexy comment "Why?"
"'Cos I am already seeing someone" Spike smiled slightly "Even if she isn't seeing me"
The Slayer looked at him. He was such a mystery to her. A vampire who had been able to love and feel even without a soul. A vampire yet he could look so gentle sometimes, so vulnerable. Then there were times he did seem evil, times...she'd rather forget. The look on his face now was the one that confused her most. The tender look. Spike sarcastic she could deal with. Spike being an ass she could deal with. She could even deal with Spike evil. Those were all familiar things to her. Soulful Spike she was still getting used to. In a good way.
"She sees you" Buffy replied in a hushed voice, kissed him lightly on the lips "William"
Spike's eyes closed for a moment when she pulled away then his eyelids fluttered open "What was that for?" His voice was steady but there was hopefulness underneath it.
"Wanted to give you a good memory of me calling you William," The Slayer said simply.
They locked eyes for seconds. And for a long moment all she really saw was him. And all he was her. But that was nothing new. Then the wild cheers and cries from the girls inside the crypt broke their reverie. Vamp was dust, Buffy guessed. Time to rally the troops. Before she could her cell phone rang. She picked it up and it was Willow. Dawn was missing, had run away. Again. Buffy hung up and sighed.
She turned to Spike "It's Dawn. She ran away. I have to find her. Can you take the girls home?"
"Of course" Spike nodded swiftly, back to business.
"Then come help me?"
"Didn't even have to ask, luv"
Buffy smiled softly at that "Be safe, Spike"
With that she turned and ran through the cemetery to find her little sister. On her way out she noticed Spike's old crypt standing desolate and alone. A comfy little crypt for two. Buffy shook her head but smiled.
END
A/N: So, what did you think? Feedback is my vice. Favourite moments? Glaringly obvious continuity holes? You tell me. I want it all! Thanks for reading.