A/N: Hey there! This is my first WWE fanfiction, so it might be stupid. But I hope you like it. I would like to thank SpiritStream17 and Scattia. They gave me ideas for this fic, so go read their stories right now!
Disclaimer: All of these characters belong to Vince McMahon, not me. Don't sue!
Undertaker: Hi my name is Undertaker or you can just call me Mark
Austin: My name is Stone Cold Steve Austin, I am the WWF champion, and I do not-
Undertaker: Aw, SHUTUP!
Austin: What the hell, you can't talk to me like that! I do not deserve this! I am the WWF champion! I could whoop your ass right now!
Undertaker: *Laughs* Oh really? What, you want a piece of me?
Austin: No dead man, I want the whole thing!
Undertaker: Boy, you better watch yourself...
Austin: *flips him the bird*
Undertaker: That's it... *They start going at it, kicking each other's asses*
Director: Guys, guys! Stop it! This is a family show and plus, we are live!
Undertaker: You are one lucky SOB...
Austin: Yeah, right... *They start going at it again*
Director: GUYS!!!!!
Undertaker: *mutters* sorry...
Austin: Whatever...
Undertaker: Anyways, as I was saying before I had to kick some ass...*smirks at Austin as Austin glares at him* This is Blind Dates. This is a show where two total strangers go on a date and whether they like it or not, they have to spend the WHOLE date together
Austin: That's right, dead man. Now, normally it would just be regular people on the show, but since we kicked the old host guy's ass…
Undertaker: We have replaced those regular people with your favorite WWF superstars and unfortunately, some WCW jackasses
Austin: Ok, so you might be wondering why they picked me and dead man as the hosts...
Undertaker: Well, since we are both married men and we can kick everyone else's ass, that's why!
Austin: Well, if that's the reason, you should be my co-host because I can whoop your ass
Undertaker: What you gonna do, you son of a bitch?
Austin: Oh, you are one sorry sack of...
Director: HEY!! What did I say? This is a family show not your WWF Shakedown or your WWF well-done...*chuckles a little*
Austin: First of all, if you say it's a family show one more time, I am gonna open up a big ol' can of whoop ass on your sorry rear end! And second of all, that WWF well-done joke sucked!
Undertaker: I know, really...
Austin: Ok, so since this is our first show we will be doing...*drum roll* A double blind date!
Undertaker: And our male contestants will be Edge and Christian
Austin: And our female contestants are Terri and Trish
Undertaker: Now keep in mind folks, these people are total strangers-
Austin: No they're not...
Undertaker: Whatever!
Austin: So sit-back, relax and all you love birds put your clothes back on and enjoy the show *bell rings*
Undertaker: What the hell is with the bell?
Austin: This writer is so stupid!
Maybe I should Change My Name: Hey, I heard that!
Austin: Sorry...wait a minute... where did you come from?!
Maybe I should Change My Name: Uh, no time for that! *Goes to Edge and Christian in there car talking about the date*
Edge: Dude, I hope these chicks are totally hot!
Christian: I know! They should because we are full on scorch cakes and we could get any chick that we want!
Edge: Right on! *They do that little wiggle fingers thing where they make that weird noise*
Christian: Oh yeah! We so totally reek of awesomeness!
Edge: Ok, we are almost there so lets work on our pick-up lines
Christian: Mine is, "Is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants!"
Edge: And mine is, "Are those space pants your wearing because your butt is totally out of this world!"
Christian: We are so gonna score tonight!
Edge: Ok, we're here! Are you nervous?
Christian: Pshh... You have got to be kidding dude! Me? Nervous?… Yes!
Edge: Ditto! So, lets do a five second pose in the mirror for good-luck!
Christian: Rad idea! *They both pull down the sun-visors above there heads, fix their hair in the mirrors, then do weird poses*
Edge: Lets go! *They get out of the car and walk in the restaurant*
*Go to Terri and Trish waiting at the bar talking*
Trish: If these guys aren't hot, I want my money back!
Terri: Hey, I should get paid extra because I just got my implants one more size and I am sore *rubbing her chest*
Trish: Oh my god! There is Edge and Christian! They must be our dates! Quick! Straighten out your boobs! *They both adjust while Edge and Christian walk over to them*
Edge: HELLO LADIES!
Christian: *Can't take his eyes off Terri's...uhh...chest*
Terri: *smiles seductively* Hello there Christian...
Christian: *Finally manages to pull his eyes off of her chest* Uh…umm…*shyly* ...hi
Trish: Hey there sexy thang
Edge: Well, I try...
Trish: Lets go sit down shall we?
Christian: We totally shall! *Links arms with Terri and goes sit down*
Edge: Like my hair? I crimped it just for this date!
Trish: You used a crimper?
Edge: Totally
Trish: Oh my...*She stifles a laugh, but Edge links arms with her and follows Terri and Christian to sit down. They all pick a table and look at the menu*
Christian: Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!
Terri: Oh! *Giggles*
Edge: So, Trish...can I ask you a serious question?
Trish: Sure, of course!
Edge: Are you wearing space pants?
Trish: Uh, no...
Edge: Really, cause your butt is totally out of this world!
Trish: *takes a minute to think. 1 minute later..* Oh! I get it! Hahaha!
Christian: Terri, I so totally dig your shirt!
Terri: Really? Thanks!
Christian: It makes your chest look so...so...real!
Terri: Oh my gosh...seriously?
Trish: It does not!
Edge: Yeah dude. She is right. They have more plastic in them than a Barbie doll!
Christian: Whatever dude! Its not like Trish's aren't fake either! They so reek of salinetude!
Trish: Hey!
Terri: Does this shirt really make my boobs look real?
Waiter: Uh... excuse me…
Christian: Hey, they are aren't they?
Trish: Well, uh...
Christian: Well what?
Edge: Dude! Don't rush her!
Trish: They are... uh...
Waiter: Excuse me...
Terri: Huh, it does make them look kinda real, don't ya think guys?
Christian: Well, are they or not!!
Trish: *stands up and yells* ALRIGHT, MY BOOBS ARE FAKE OK! ENOUGH WITH THE THIRD DEGREE! *Starts to back up but bumps into the waiter* Uh ...hi mister waiter man *starts to turn bright red and sits down*
Waiter: I guess that means you will need more time *walks away*
Trish: I need to use the bathroom. You coming with me Terri?
Terri: I don't know, they do look kinda real but...OH! Uh, sure...*they both get up and leave*
Edge: Thanks for blowing it dude!
Christian: Whatever! I didn't blow anything!
Edge: Blow me!
Christian: Trish will so totally blow you off
Edge: yeah sure...wait a minute...we just said blow like 4 times in 4 different ways of saying it!
Christian: Dude we are so awesome *They do the wiggly fingers thing again. Goes to Terri and Trish walking to the bathroom*
Trish: They are really hot
Terri: And they're joke thingies are so cute *They bump into two tall, dark, and handsome guys*
Guy1: Sorry
Trish: Oh, you're fine.... I mean it's fine *embarrassed*
Guy2: Can we make it up to you by taking you to our place now?
Terri: No, we are already on- *Trish nudges her* we're free!
Guy1: Great
Trish: Can you excuse us for a moment *pulls Terri in the bathroom*
Terri: Oh… my… god!
Trish: I know! They are so hot!
Terri: Way hotter than Edge and Christian!
Trish: Speaking of them, we can't just ditch them
Terri: Yeah we can
Trish: Well, we are in this fanfic, so we can't make it seem like we are mean. So we won't
Terri: Oh yeah, so how do we get rid of them?
Trish: Um... I got it! Lets pretend we are insulted by their boob compliments and leave them
Terri: But I like their boob compliments
Trish: That's why I said pretend! Lets go! *They go back out to guy1and guy2*
Trish: We will be right back, we have to get our coats *Go back to Edge and Christian*
Edge: What took you guys so long? Oh! Did you have their complimentary dish of beans at the entrance? Yup, that'll do that to ya...
Trish: I cannot believe you just said that!
Edge: Huh?
Trish: You actually think that a classy woman like me would go to the bathroom in a public restroom! Grr... *Tries to sound mad*
Christian: Hey Terri, you're boobs look even nicer after that trip to the bathroom *grins ear to ear*
Terri: Thanks, that's really sw- *Trish nudges her… hard* OUCH! I mean...How dare you say that about my boobs!
Christian: But I was complimenting them!
Terri: Yeah well, you shouldn't be lookin ya scum! *Picks up a glass of water and dumps it on his head*
Edge: HAHAHA.... you just got dissed by your date! *With that, Trish picks up a basket of nachos and dumps it on Edge's head*
Trish: See ya! *They both walk up to the guys and walk out of the restaurant hand in hand with them*
Edge: Dude, that was totally haneus!
Christian: I know! We were so about to score! And next to that, I got water up my nose!
Edge: And I got chips in my beautiful hair! *Still picking them out*
Christian: That's the last time we go on blind dates! We so would've scored if we could've seen and it wasn't blind!
Edge: I know! This reeks of crapiness!
Christian: Look at that chick man! She so reeks of hotness! *They both walk up to her*
Edge: How you doin'? *Grinning weirdly*
Girl: Uh...*looks kind of scared and is about to walk away*
Christian: Hey, uh, don't leave! We're friends with Stacker2!
Edge: Yeah, maybe one day we could triple date with your friends!
Christian: Chicks go wack for the stack! *Goes back to Undertaker and Austin shaking their heads*
Undertaker: Didn't go so well for Edge and Christian...
Austin: Damn pansies...
Undertaker: Say, where are Sara and Debra? *Sara and Debra come in laughing with two hunky men. They stop laughing when they noticed the guys looking at them*
Debra: *whispering to Sara* Uh...get them out of here
Sara: *pushing the guys out the door while making a phone with her thumb and pinky mouthing 'call me'*
Austin: Who were they?
Debra: Uhh…nobody
Sara: Yeah, we were just telling them where the bathrooms in this place were
Undertaker: Sara...
Austin: Debra...
Debra and Sara: Alright! *They hand over pieces of paper with the hunky guys' numbers on it*
Debra: Why do you need they're numbers?
Austin: So we can call them and tell them to come over so we can kick they're asses all the way to hell! *They all laugh*
Debra: I love you...
Sara: I love you...
Austin and Undertaker: Ohh... *Both blushing*
~+End+~
Hope you guys like it! Please review! The next chapter will be out soon...it will probably be Benoit but I could change it...so tune in next time