Hi, I'm Official Space Teen and this is my story for the Dear Dairy competition. This one-shot takes place in the period of time between the fifth and sixth book. Enjoy!

The Dairy of Nymphadora Tonks

Dear Dairy,

Sorrow. That's all I seem to feel lately. Dark, merciless, painful sorrow. It controls my life, engulfs my thoughts. I feel as though I'm travelling through a deep, dark tunnel and there is no light waiting for me at the end. Each day seems to drag on and each night feels so cold. This sorrow is beginning to eat me up inside and soon I will be a pathetic shell of the woman I once was. And it's all because of him. He is all I think about and all that I am. I never though this thing could happen, and to me of all people. Happy, cheerful Tonks. Not a care in the world. But I am not that person any more. Not that child. I have felt what love feels like and it feels wonderful. When I am with him I smile wider, laugh louder and feel more alive. Like I could do anything. Although, this love comes with its pitfalls. When he is gone I feel empty and without life. It is as though a Dementor is circling in around me. I know he feels the same way: I can see it in his pale brown eyes. Alas, he tells me we cannot be together.

"Remus," I pleaded as the tears fell from my eyes. "I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone else."

"That is because you are so young." He muttered. "You have yet to live."

"Age is but a number!" I demanded, but he just looked away with a glimps of shame in his eyes.

"It is not just your age. It is also my curse."

"Why do you not understand? I don't care." I wept. "My love for you is unconditional."

"As is mine for you." He replied. "But it just can't be so."

His words hit me like a quaffle to the head. It took me a minute to think straight but he had already left. So I just stood there, in the hallway of 12 Grimmauld Place, trying not to fall as the world around me turned upside-down. Molly must have heard the conversation from the kitchen as she rushed to my side. Kindly, she placed her arms on my shoulder, guided me to the dining room and sat me down at a chair.

"Tea, Dear?" She asked in a warm tone. I tried to answer but the words wouldn't leave my mouth. "I understand." Molly nodded and took a seat next to me.

"I him love so much it hurts." I managed to whisper.

"I'm sure he feels the same way."

"Then why can we not be together?" I said, raising my voice. "Why won't he let me in to his life?"

Molly sighed. "Remus is different, or at least that's what he's been told his entire life. He's been an outsider for so long it's hard for him to cope."

I paused for a moment and took this in. I had not looked at it from this angle, seen things from where he saw them. Had Remus ever been in love before? Had he ever been close to someone? He had friends in Hogwarts, that I knew, but how long had it taken them to get him to open up? Years, probably. And then he lost them. James was killed when he was far too young and Sirius was thought to be a trader for so long. Then he too was killed. And Peter… he was no friend to Remus, not any more.

"I guess you're right." I muttered glumly. "I should stop pursuing him…"

"That not what I said at all." Molly announced. "Don't give up on Remus, not if you truly love him."

"Then what should I do?"

"Be patient. Wait. He'll come around in good time. Although he might just need a small push." She smiled.

"I'll wait." I nodded.

And I am. Still waiting, still empty. It's been a week since that event and yet it feels like years. I hope he'll come around soon… Molly's been talking to him, and me. Often I'll go to Burrow for her advice. She's a shoulder to cry on and a friend to lean on. But I still feel sorrow. Maybe one day I'll get my 'Happily Ever After'. Maybe I won't…