Ichabod Crane's Daily Life
By: Ichamod Crane
It's 5 in the morning on a Monday. Ichabod Crane wakes up and starts to get ready for work. He groggily gets up from his bed, and heads for the shower. After he's finished he puts on a fresh pair of Ichabod Hanes. He thinks today will be a good day.
"What a wonderful day it is going to be!" Ichabod Crane says gleefully. He combs his sideburns and two strands of hair to perfection.
Once dressed Ichabod heads to the kitchen. He brews himself a nice cup of coffee. He uses his favorite mug for the day which reads "foxy grandpa." Nice. He sits down at the kitchen table, and picks up a newspaper he forgot to read the other day. The headline was certainly an interesting one, so interesting that Ichabod jumped in surprise. This causes him to spill his coffee on his pants, leaving an Ichabod Stain.
"..."
"aaaaaAAACCK!" Ichabod Crane screeches from the Ichabod Pain.
He limps to the bathroom and removes his pant leg, and then runs cool water over it to relieve the pain.
This day is GOING to be absolute dog SHIT.
However Ichabod will try to make the Ichabest out of it. Work can't be too bad, right?
Ichabod gets into his car, and starts driving to work. There's not much traffic, but the person in front of him is driving slow, really slow, to the point where it aggravates Ichabod. So Ichabod Crane changes Ichabod Lanes to prevent further anger.
Ichabod arrives to his offices. It's empty. Of course he is the first one to get there. He always is. He sits at his desk, and sighs. He begins to prepare for the day. He picks up his name plaque, dusts it off and sets it back in its proper place. He starts to fill out paperwork and such.
Miss Snow White arrives.
"Good morning, sir."
"Morning, Miss Snow."
"There's something I need to discuss with you, sir."
Then Miss Snow starts to talk. That talking turns into rambling. Ichabod does not care. Whatever she was talking about was not important, surely.
"There are Fables living in poor conditions! One even has gone missing. You know, Lily, Holly's sister?" Miss Snow continues.
What is she talking about? I have paperwork to do. This is giving me a headache. Why do you do this to me Miss Snow? Bigby can take care of this shit. He's the sheriff, after all. That's his job. Despite not paying attention to Snow's babble, Ichabod Ichanods every once and a while to make it look like he's paying attention.
Yes. Mhm. Yes, Miss Snow. Of course, Miss Snow.
"Did you get all of that, sir?" Miss Snow asks.
"Of course I did, Miss Snow. What kind of man do you take me for?"
"Alright. Sorry, sir."
"Get back to work."
Snow walks over to her desk and begins to work on some paperwork. Ichabod continues to do his. Reading over papers. Signing papers. It's all the same shit. Then Ichabod absent mindedly knocks over his inkwell.
"GoDAMMIT." Ichabod says under his breath.
The ink spills all over his work, completely ruining it. Ichabod gathers up the papers and crush them into a ball. Ichabod then throws the Ichawad of paper in the trash bin.