I was already awake, no doubt in mind, training to my heart's content. It was a beautiful morning, my cheeks fuzzy with a sudden thrill of anticipation, my heart thudding dangerously fast. The sword was magnificent. It cut through the sole wooden log with one clean swipe, it's glimmering edge gleaming proudly at the sun. Or rather, her. She was magnificent. My first and last; the Shigure.
It was a Tuesday, a day where I was entrusted to do my favourite chores; a day I loathed so that I wished all Tuesdays were excluded from the calendar. Animals grazing the fields; check. Feeding the lazy, intolerable good-for-nothing cows; check. Continuously chasing after a hen that escaped my very effective chicken trap with three ugly feathers sticking out my head; chec, check and sadly, check. And lastly, cleaning out the respectable temple and polishing my mad ancestor's tomb; almost there. I smiled as I smoothed down my crinkled top in their presence, smudging a black soot mark on my face, watching my deformed mirror staring back at me through the small pot of incense that swung gently. It smelt like jasmine, cinnamon and musk. I smelt more of the cinnamon since I raided Hina's kitchen that morning.
"Good morning, dear ancestors…" I sighed, my eyes skimming through the many, many names scrawled on the tomb, snorting at some of the funniest. I knew it was rude, but I couldn't help it.
"Good morning, Zureeblie-kun… Oh, and good morning to Suyew-chan, and a very warm good morning to you too, Lord/Chief/Clan leader? Tayam-sama. I love all of your names, I seriously am grateful to have such wonderful relatives." I rambled on, laughing at my own nonsense. Of course, the dead geezers and their wives couldn't hear me and no matter what anyone had said, I didn't care. Ghosts and spirits and all, I mean, it's a bit of stretch.
I tapped on a dragon idol, my nose flaring at the puny statue with the long nose. I called the worthless thing 'Usopp' as a child, pulling its clay ears and making fun of it.
"You hear that? You're worthless! Oh yeah… I forgot you can't actually hear."
"You just keep on murmering to yourself and I'll send you to the mental hospital straight." A voice snapped, and I spluttered as I shot up and swung round to find a large figure staring me down, a cigar strangled between his teeth. I stumbled slightly, my lip curling helplessly into a guilty smile, my eyes shining with hope.
"Oh. Sorry. You scared me, sir,"
He blew the toxic mixture through pursed lips, closing his eyes momentarily before sitting in his usual spot, sparing a glance of loss at me. "Well? Why are you here?¶ I thought you'd rather eat manure than pay respects to 'dead lunatics'."
"I was completing my chores, sir. Would you like tea?" I quickly suggested, the embarrassment still burning clear in my mind. He always thought I was a bit off, but now he had confirmed his suspicions. I mean, his eyes said it all. The kid's a maniac.
"Just get yourself ready." He ordered, taking a long drag before addressing the silence. "What are you waiting for? Move it, kid."
"uh… What am I getting myself ready for, exactly?" I racked my thoughts for a hint, a clue but came up with nothing. Staring at the man in front of me didn't exactly help speed up the mystery either. He shot a look of disgust and replaced his focus elsewhere; mainly his mother and father's tomb.
"My old man is probably laughing his dead corpse off. 'You are one hell of a failure' he's probably thinking. Can't even raise a child like you properly." He chuckled roughly. "The old woman wants you to get pampered for that ceremony. So, get moving."
A small glass cup slipped from my hands that I'd been preparing, my lips turning blue as I chomped down on them. A large ear-splitting crash rippled through the marble floor, creating new scratches and dents on the surfaces.
"Was that today? I thought it was on the nine-"
"-It is the nineteenth, kid. Does being forgetful come with the carelessness?" He gestured towards the mess on the floor, giving me a grunt of disapproval.
I whipped out another china cup from my secret stash and beamed slightly. "I always have a spare one just in case."
"Do you have a spare one for that spare 'just in case'?"
"No… but here's your tea, sir. What time does Hina want me to be…there?"
"At 10 sharp."
Another blood-curdling smash, only more swearing and wet with piping hot tea spilt over my drags and my master's clothes. He bit his tongue from lashing out and spat what was left of his dripping cigar, glaring at me coldly. Ha, ironic.
"Sorry."
"Just get out. And try and act like a lady, for the love of all things Holy."
"Father; I am a lady."
"Whatever you say, Tashigi." He muttered, violently ripping his delicate robes that stuck to his tank-like body. My father was a machine out on· the battlefield and raised me as a blood-thirsty being from the age of two. Act like a lady my ass.
However, since I held a little bit more inclined respect for my mother, I tried my best to arrive on time at the back of my trusty and a-bit-rusty steed where she stood -looking perfect- next to…
Oh, God…
"Tashigi? Where were you?" My mother interrogated, her pink hair slipping past her slender arms as she tugged me off my horse.
"With Father. We bonded over tea." Was my lame answer. I couldn't think when there was a monster right next to us.
"OOH! If it isn't the fabulous, gorgeous, attractive farm girl Tashiji!"
"Ivanka. And It's Tashigi, by the way." I muttered, somehow getting offended by the list of untrue statements he held against me. What a monster.
"Aw! Gosh, Darling! Did you get attacked on your way here? What is that dreadful mark on your ghostly pale skin? Was it a bandit? How dare he attack my Tashiji!"
I tried my best to ignore the itch in my eyes as I twitched at his nonsense. He was so painfully dramatic. But my mother ignored him and dragged me into a small home, pushing me towards a group of friendly-looking female relatives who bathed, pulled and tugged me from left and right before strangling me in a regular kimono, too slim waist down. Ivanka 'Ooh'd' and 'Aaah'd' at the hairstyle my long midnight-blue hair was pulled back in. Hina smiled slightly, her lips forming a slight pout. She wanted her daughter to be what I was transformed into. A beautiful, strong jewel who's looking was serious and her work was appreciated and she brought joy to the table.
I shot a warning glance at her, telling her not to get her hopes up, and growled at one girl who prodded my face with unbelievable coats of foundation, blush and mascara. I didn't care who wanted me to be a stuck up prissy dependent child, but I knew I was an adult, a girl who took responsibilities by the chord and who did whatever pleased her and not her husband.
I was ready. Or at least Ivanka and my mother were. For me to get married. Hurrah(!) Even though I wasn't keen on getting partnered up at such a fruitful age, I knew it was what would please my father, and bring honour to my family. If there was one thing that bothered me, it was my pride.
"Bring honour to us all, dear Tashigi." My cousins and aunts whispered their good-lucks and praises. I thanked them but knew the only thing I was ever known for bringing were trouble and supposedly bad luck.
"There you go. Making that face again." My mother grabbed my wrist and gestured a smile on her own face, instructing me to follow. I forced my cheeks to rise and my lips to part aggressively, a very attractive smile indeed, and enjoyed the pleasure of watching her face fall. She 100 percent hated me.
"Oh, leave her alone! She looks like a proper lady for once!" Ivanka huffed, straightening my posture and patting my cheeks towards the mirror. "Relax your facial muscles. Smiles must come naturally. No need for exaggeration. Oh! And remember to always conceal your emotions when they're not deemed necessary to reveal. For example, aggressiveness in your case."
I nodded gently, anxiously fidgeting with the hem of my sleeve. The kimono was too tight around my waist and the stiffness of my bun caused my head to ache unbearably. My eyes narrowed and my smile drooped down into a frown, bearing my teeth. Anyone could tell I was in pain; I looked as constipated as a nine-month pregnant woman.
My mother tugged on my sleeve yet again to remind me that appearances mattered to the matchmaker and that I mustn't reveal such emotions. I couldn't help it. I was pushed towards the outside; people I've known as a child looked up and immediately their faces brightened. Some raised their eyebrows in astonishment and some weren't afraid to hide their proud beaming smiles. They've watched me grow as a stuck-up tomboy and now they saw a young woman.
You might have noticed that I'm good at reading people's emotions and interpreting their faces. Fighting and sparring make you concentrate in a way that makes you pick up slight changes in one's body language, facial expressions and most importantly their eyes. (Albeit I was the easiest person to read in the whole dynasty.)
"You're finally ready."
"I kinda figured,·" I answered the… man. Ivanka took no offense¶. No one could tell really under all the makeup on his face.
Three poised women strutted past me in a line, colourful crimson, baby blue and blushes of pinks among the trio. I myself wore a heavenly shimmer of gold and light splashes of lilacs to represent my 'richness in nature' or something along the lines. With a hesitant step and much resistance of my strapped legs, I stepped in line and shuffled in time. I could almost hear my mother's demanding words rattling in my ear when I scrunched my face in repulsion. But how could I smile when the most revolting men ever to walk on this earth had gathered around us like a swarm of perverted bees? Nonetheless, I raised my chin high and tried… and I honestly did try… to ignore the onslaught thrown upon me in particular.
"Hey! Tashigi has finally taken her transgender role seriously!" One with an ugly wart on his nose yelled. Well, if only he'd known that his girlfriend had cheated on him with his brother- who just so happened to be even uglier than him- he wouldn't have hollered my way. Pity.
"She actually has decent boobs you know! Fuck, I'd give anything to honk them right now." Coincidently, his younger brother stated. I could've ruined both their lives in a flash. But I didn't.
A passer-by decided to join in with the bullies, a grim smirk on his bronze skin.
"Bet you the last one can't bring honour to her family if she had all the right in the world."
That, my friends, is when I lost it. Whoever had the audacity to bring up my family right, to bring up my status, to bring up something that concerns me and my pride alone would have to face me right there and then.
I never spoke. I never uttered a word. Just carefully picked up a pebble and smoothed it out on my hand before flicking it in full speed towards the arrogant jerk. Luckily, no one saw. Unluckily, I missed. I memorised the face of that devil, mentally making note of his painfully bright features. Dyed hair, one eye and an unattractive smile.
Confident that I was to hunt him down after the matchmaking ceremony, I let the occasion slide. The women I was accompanied by stared at me with disgust and silent disrespect, judging me like I didn't see their eyes roll. Before we knew it, we were in front of the infamous house, our colour co-ordinated umbrellas tilted so we could hide our faces.
The doors were flung open and a velvety smooth voice called upon her first victim. I prayed mentally that I was last, or even second to last, just not first.
"Lady Vivi of the Grand Line."
The woman with the blue garments rose elegantly and curtseyed at the matchmaker, her sky-cerulean hair tumbled down her straight back and gold jewellery glimmered under the sun.
"Present, m'lady."
I sighed in relief, relaxing my muscles briefly.
"Tashigi of the East Blue."
I stiffened, hesitantly lowering my umbrella to get a glimpse at· the person calling my name.
"Present…?"
The matchmaker tutted, sashaying back inside her mansion. "The both of you- come inside."
The other girls stared at me contently before adjusting their eyes on Lady Vivi, who was a beauty queen unlike the rugged view of the rest of us. I gawked in disbelief and shot a grim look at the other two, reminding them how lucky they were. They weren't paying any attention to me, just whispering in hushed voices with the occasional giggle.
Snapping my umbrella aside, I tried my best to trudge alongside the woman who elegantly breezed past us, shining a beam towards me.
"Good luck."
I snorted, fixing my gaze ahead. "Thanks, princess. But I don't need luck."
She huffed in slight disapproval and sprinted up the stairs, no longer willing to wait for me or become mutual besties against our enemy. Tsk. Like I could care.
…
Okay, I wish I had cared more. The demon in front of us looked cold as frost and demanding as one of my cows back home. Not that she was a cow. This woman was a pig.
"What took you so long, Miss Loker?"
My father was nicknamed 'Loker' due to his defeat against the evil organisations and bands of pirates that had invaded the country but was never praised or thought highly of his loyalty and numerous wins in the name of justice. His name carried down to me. So I'm known as Miss Loker.
It took all I had from gritting my teeth, so instead I sucked in my own poison and smiled a sickly smile.
"Forgive me, ma'am, but these stairs are hard to climb with my dress. After all, better to arrive lady-like than a ruffian with a ripped kimono."
"Seems like nothing has changed if you ask me. Your hair is sticking from all different angles." The matchmaker remarked, eyeing me strangely.
"This is my hairdo," I said, staring at her with feigned confusion. Was this pig as dumb as she looked?
"Well, ·it's utmost distasteful. I'd rather you'd a ripped dress revealing your…. figure."
Ouch.
"And you, Lady Vivi. Step forth." The raven-haired woman spoke with a gentle tone, her eyes softening.
"Yes, m'lady." And so the prissy princess floated across the room towards the biased pig. If I recall correctly, her name was something ridiculous like 'Hancock'. Almost as stupid as my ancestor's.
"Is there something you want to share, Loker?" The B.P heard my snicker and once again her eyes sharpened.
"Never, m'lady."
"Then watch carefully. Lady Vivi will show you how it's done."
Vivi glanced back at me and nodded my way, then directed herself to the other end of a long table. Boa Hancock strutted and sat upright on the far end of the mahogany furniture. Alone¶ teapot and cup waited in the centre, steam glistening out of the nozzle.
"Pour me a cup."
Vivi did as she was told gently directing the aromatic tea into the cup, filling it three quarters· of the way, and placed it on a saucer before delivering it to the matchmaker. She glanced at the tea, placed a forefinger and thumb onto the ear and sipped it slightly, her sharp eyes lowered in concentration.
"Recite the mantra."
Lady Vivi placed both pale hands behind her back and closed her eyes, reciting loud and clearly:
"A woman
A sea- split generously
Into three gentle parts
Eyes, Heart and Mind
Eyes to see her loved one
Heart to love him and forgive him
Mind to dream and admire him
But a fourth part
Unknown to the chosen for whom
Unknown to thee but revealed to others"
I nearly choked· on air. What on earth was she regurgitating? The mantra was different, I'm almost sure it was. There has to have been a mistake!
"I'm sorry, M'lady. You haven't asked me about¶ which I was to recite." Vivi stumbled lightly, a blush colouring her creamy desert skin.
"No, no." Miss Hancock waved her concerns away, a sly curve to· her ruby lips. "You recited one of my favourites. You are dismissed, ¶for now, lady Vivi. I've matched you with an old friend. Dashing, if I say so myself."
My stomach twisted. No, no, NO! I never knew about this intonation, let alone remembering it off by heart.
"Tashigi. I hope you took notes." Was her cruel advice as I stood and stomped towards the edge of the table. I suddenly slowed down, a jolt of realisation reminded me that what I was doing was inappropriate.
"Of course, m'lady." I gritted out and forced my lips to imitate the fake smile she displayed.
I sat down and waited patiently when she got up in a feisty manner, moderately lifting the china teapot and pouring it perfectly into a new cup. Hopefully, I prayed, I wouldn't smash any of them