Disclaimer: I am not Joanne Rowling. I can assure you that I am a completely different Joanne altogether, so (most unfortunately) I don't own Harry Potter.
Warning: This one-shot contains fairly strong launguage and some mild violence, if you don't like, don't read.
Just to let you know, this one-shot is inspired by the songs 'How You Remind Me', by Nickleback and 'Runaway', by Linkin Park.
Italics mean flashback.Just to tell you, this is not a happy one-shot. I do not write happy stories. Nothing is perfect in the Potter universe. Taking away Voldemort will not solve all life's problems.
Please review; I am a review addict! Criticism is always welcome, as long as you tell me why you hate it, not just state the fact that you thought it was awful!
On with the one-shot!
Far From Perfect
Harry gently prised his hands out of the grip of the tiny infant cradled in his hands and knocked on the door softly, so as not to wake her. Why Ron had asked him to bring Jenny over two hours early was a mystery. Those few hours in between the time that Jenny drifted off to sleep and he left for work were the only time he had to catch up on his sleep. If you could call waking every half-hour coated in sweat and gasping heavily, sleep.
Harry smiled down at the contented face of his daughter, her vivid red hair contrasting starkly with her pale, almost sickly, skin. The vivid emerald eyes hidden behind closed lids.
Closing his eyes, Harry took a deep, slow breath, savouring the warm summers breeze. Even at this age, Harry could tell the only things his daughter would inherit from him were the impossibly scruffy hair, the pale, porcelain skin and those deep eyes that unknowingly pierced into your soul. Other than those she was the perfect copy of her mother. Down to the last freckle dusted over her pale cheeks.
Harry quickly suppressed his emotions, an act he repeatedly carried out, not wanting to show weakness. Since that night everyone had looked up to him. Without him the wizarding world would most likely collapse. At this point in time anyway. If he showed weakness, everyone else would show theirs, paving the way for a new Dark Lord to exploit it…
x0x
"I'm worried, Gin." Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "He knows his Horcruxes are gone, I can feel it." He paused to prise the empty bottle from Jenny's mouth. "It's not like him to just sit around like this! When was the last attack?" When Ginny shrugged he looked towards Hermione and Ron, who were pouring over an old, thick book, salvaged from the restricted section of Hogwart's library, before it has been burnt down in the attack from two years ago of course. (Though Ron didn't seem to be concentrating on the text at all, he preferred to send furtive looks at Hermione, nervously glancing at the engagement rings twisted around their fingers.)
"Hermione," Harry began. "When was the last-"
"Fourteenth of February." She answered without looking up. "Murdered fifty seven muggles, twelve muggle-borns, seven of which were aurors and eight half-bloods, all members of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."
Harry nodded, that had been a horrific Valentines Day to say the least. Just so happened to be Harry's first assignment as an auror and Ginny's first day looking after Jenny single handed, not that it was much of a problem for her of course. One cold, hard stare (learn from her mother) could shut even Harry up. The poor kid never stood a chance.
"Come to think of it," Ron finally tore his eyes from his and Hermione's intertwined hands, "when was the last time we heard anything of You-know… Voldemort or his Death Eaters? We haven't been given a break like this since-"
"Fifth year." Harry finished. "He's planning." Harry bit his lip, staring at his daughter. "I'm scared, Ginny." Ginny pushed herself closer to Harry; it was rare he admitted fear of what was ahead of him. "Voldemort knows me. He's going to go after Jenny! I know he is!" He squeezed his eyes shut. "He knows that I would do anything for her! The bloody bastard knows! He'll slaughter her! He'll wait until I'm fighting Death Eaters or something and go and-" Harry's voice caught, his emotions preventing him from speaking.
"Shhhh, Harry." Ginny's comforting voice whispered into his ear. Taking care not to squash Jenny, Harry buried his face into Ginny's shoulder, Ginny fingers running up and down his back, comforting him.
It was at the precise moment that Harry raised his face that the screeching alarms went off. Drawing his wand and pulling Jenny even closer towards him, her turned to face Ginny, Ron and Hermione, panic clearly showing on his face.
"I'll take Jennifer!" Hermione called out. "You lot are better at fighting than me! You block their way while I get past the apparation wards!"
"But-"
"Jesus Christ, Harry! Do you want Voldemort to get Jennifer or not! You're an auror, Harry! You were training for a year, Ginny! And Ron… oh heck… you Ron!" Sensing another hesitation, Hermione continued. "For goodness sake! Who was the first one knocked out in the Department of Mysteries? ME! Who was the only one to spend anytime in St. Mungo's after the attack on Privet Drive? Me! Who was the one who nearly got Harry killed in the Battle of Hogwarts? ME! Who is the ruddy reason we LOST the Battle of Hogwarts?" Hermione was becoming hysterical.
After one more second of hesitation, Harry handed over Jenny, a couple of seconds after the first jet of red light flashed just where Hermione had stood only a second before.
x0x
"Hello, Harry!" Hermione's thin, gaunt face smiled at Harry, who waved his hands, signalling her to quieten down. She gave a small nod of understanding. "How's Jennifer then?" She continued in a whisper, whilst opening the door to let Harry in. "It's been three months since…" Hermione's voice trembled. Harry reached out to comfort her.
Hermione flinched.
Frowning, Harry noticed her rub her shoulder slightly, her teeth biting her lip gently. "Hermione, are you-"
"I'm fine, Harry!" Hermione replied quickly. Her whisper an octave higher than usual. "Anyways," she relaxed slightly, "is Jennifer doing any better now?"
Harry nodded slowly. Something was wrong. He was sure of it. But if Hermione didn't want to tell, he wasn't going to push her. She had Ron's shoulder to cry on now.
"She's fine." Harry paused, "she seems to understand that Ginny's not around anymore," a shadow clouded over Harry's eyes. "But… I… well… I haven't got the heart to tell her what exactly death is…" Harry looked at Jenny's peaceful face, wishing her innocence would never leave her. "So," Harry hastily changed the subject, "why on Earth is Ron asking me to come over when I should be asleep?" A small smile crossed his lips. "Not that I mind, of course. It seems as if we've barely spoken since… well, looking after a eighteen month year old kid and holding down the auror nightshift doesn't exactly leave you with much free time."
"No idea what Ron's planning. No doubt it's only going to make his reputation as a first class prat worse…" There was something different in Hermione's voice.
As they entered the living room, Harry dropped onto the squashy armchair, assuming Ron and Hermione would share the sofa adjacent to it.
"Is working in the Department of Mysteries okay, Hermione? Yes, I know you can't tell me what you are doing in there!" Harry knew Hermione well enough to know that if he hadn't interrupted, she would have repeated half of the rulebook by now. "I hear from Moody that you're a bit understaffed down there, not working too hard are you, Hermione. We don't want a repeat of third year!"
"Honestly Harry, can't you let that go! Taking twelve classes was hot the best choice in the world," Harry snorted, "but it worked out okay in the end! And yes, it's fine there."
Harry frowned. The Hermione he knew would have spent at least ten minutes babbling about every detail there, from how much she was learning (without telling Harry what she was learning of course) to how bad the coffee was.
Just as he was about to question Hermione on this, Ron entered the room loudly, a big smile on her face, slamming the door loudly behind him, causing Jenny to stir in Harry's arms.
Harry quickly hushed Jenny before rising to greet Ron.
"Hey, mate! Good to see you, finally. So what is it that is so much more important than my sleep?"
Ron chuckled slightly before sinking into the seat that Harry had previously occupied. Harry frowned.
"Well, just thought you would like to know," Ron paused, looking pleased to see Hermione and Harry's attention focused on him, "I finally got a job!"
Hermione squealed and ran up to Ron and hugged him tightly. "That's great, Ron! I told you! Took you long enough! See NEWT marks aren't the only thing that matter in life! When do you start? Where is it? Is it with the ministry?"
"For Merlin's sake, 'Mione! Can't you learn to control that mouth!" Harry winced as Hermione fell silent. It looked as if Ron hadn't gained any more tactfulness. But there was something else in his voice. Maybe he'd had a drink after his interview… Harry had only seen Ron drunk once and he wouldn't forget it in a hurry. "Anyway," He turned to Harry, leaving Hermione standing behind him, looking somewhat diminished. "You are now looking at the new barman of the Three Broomsticks!" Harry smiled. Any job was better than none. And Harry knew deep down that Ron never had the brilliance of any of his older brothers. Or his sister.
"That's-" But Harry was interrupted by Hermione's shrill cry.
"RON! We already discussed this! You deserve better than that! I know you can do better than that!"
"Shut up, Hermione!" Ron's ears turned red.
"Don't you dare tell me to shut up, Ronald!"
"I can tell you to do whatever I want! What problem do you have with me working in the Three Broomsticks? Not all of us are as bloody bookworms like you! Some of us had to work for the grades they got, even if they turned out absolute shit!"
Harry hurriedly rushed out of the room to put Jenny in the guest room, where a small crib lay, left from the times when Harry had stayed here, healing from… that…. One one-way silencing charm later, Harry stepped back into the living room to see if Hermione and Ron were still at each other's throats.
"YOU KNOW FULL WELL WHAT I MEAN RONALD! EVER SINCE YOU WERE IN THAT NEWPAPER ARTICLE ROSMERTA'S BEEN ALL OVER YOU! DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED!" Tears streamed down Hermione's face, washing over her bright red cheeks. "I can't believe you, Ron! First Lavender, then as soon as you found out Marietta fancied you, you had your tongue down her throat, regardless of the fact that she had backstabbed you I fifth year! I thought now we were engaged it would be different! But no!" Hermione took a deep, shuddering breath and opened her mouth, but Ron beat her to it.
"So what, Hermione? SO BLOODY WHAT! YOU HAVE NEVER APPRECIATED ME! WHATEVER I DO, IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! IS IT A WONDER THAT I MIGHT WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT GOING TO REMIND ME OF EVERY RUDDY MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE!"
"WELL I'M SORRY FOR TRYING TO HELP YOU, RONALD! I'M SORRY IF I THOUGHT MY ADVICE MIGHT HAVE HELPED YOU OUT IN THE FUTURE! I'M SORRY FOR CARING!"
"Guys-"Harry started. This was getting out of hand. Harry had never seen Ron and Hermione fight like this. He was almost sure wands were going to be drawn any minute, and with the curses and hexes the trio had picked up over the years, that could never end well.
"Stay out of this, Harry!"
"Leave Harry alone, Granger!"
"Ganger! Since when have I been Granger, Weasley?" There was a tone of sorrow underneath the anger.
"Since you became a complete and utter b-"
"GUYS!" Harry yelled. "Can't we just-"
"No, Harry!" Hermione screeched hysterically. "We can't just 'sort it out'! This has gone too far! Why don't you just leave, Harry!"
"What is wrong with you, Granger? At least Harry was HAPPY FOR ME! Unlike YOU!"
"What's this really about, Ronald?" Hermione's eyes were blazing, the tears having dried up long a go. "You've never had a problem with me before…" Hermione trailed off, Harry realised with a jolt what she was thinking, he braced himself, expecting shouting. He was surprised when all he heard was a hoarse whisper.
"You blame me, don't you? You think she died because of me!"
Harry just stared. Could Ron really think that? What had happened had nothing to do with Ginny.
"You ran away!" Ron's voice was equally as quiet, but unlike Hermione's it was laced with a furious loathing. "You were too coward to stay and fight! You could have helped!" Ron's voice began to grow in volume. "Do you realise just how overpowered we were! Ten of the most dangerous Death Eaters and sodding Voldemort himself against three unprepared… teenagers… Ginny was only a year out of Hogwarts, do you realise that? How could you leave?"
"Ron…" Harry and Hermione said simultaneously.
"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU! Don't you see, Harry! She's the reason Ginny's dead! If she was there to help, things would have gone differently!" Ron stepped towards Hermione. "YOU, BITCH, ARE THE REASON MY LITTLE SISTER IS DEAD!"
Ron pulled his hands backwards, forming a fist as he did so…
x0x
"Stupify!"
The fighting had been going on for half an hour. Harry was tiring. Out of ten Death Eaters, five were still conscious, concentrating all their spells on him. It took everything he had to dodge, duck and endure the curses aimed at him. Ron had fallen five minutes ago. Ginny had been petrified only thirty seconds ago, her eyes wide watching Harry fight for his life.
Sweat and blood were pouring down Harry's back. His breathing was becoming harsh and rushed, thanks to a painful curse from Malfoy, who now lay unconscious at the opposite side of the room.
He had been caught by the cruciatus seven times, luckily each curse only lasting a few seconds before Harry fought it off… eight… nine…
And Voldemort was watching, a twisted smile upon his lips.
"Impedimenta!" Harry gasped, sending Macnair crashing into the wall, knocked unconscious.
Only four Death Eaters left! What was Voldemort waiting for? Why wasn't he attacking him? Something was wrong, Harry could sense it, but nothing could be done about it. If he stopped for one second he would be dead within minutes, Ron and Ginny following.
"Protego!" A orange spell hit Harry's shield, bouncing back on Avery, who screeched in pain and dropped to the ground, blood pouring from his eyes, nose, ears and mouth… three more to go…
Harry ducked, leaving Crabbe and Goyle's curses to knock each other out.
Harry turned to face the final Death Eater; though sending frequent glances back to Voldemort, who was fingering his wand threateningly.
Harry swayed. He knew he had a concussion. The feeling was almost familiar now. And a broken arm. Not to mention the numerous cuts and grazes that left no part of his body unscathed.
"Is ickle Hawwy tired?" A cackle. Harry's temper rose. It was Bellatrix.
"Fuck off you damn bitch!" Harry ground out.
"Manners, Hawwy!" Another insane laugh. "Ickle Hawwy was rude! Ickle Hawwy deserves to be punished!" A smile made its way up Bellatrix's face, her eyes glittering and she pointed her wand at Ginny.
"No…" Breathed Harry, unable to stop himself.
"Oh yes, Hawwy!" Her wand steadied on Ginny's heart. Ginny's eyes blazed with a fury Harry had never seen before. "Diffindo!"
His limbs moving on their own accord, Harry found himself covering Ginny's stiff form, desperately shielding her.
Pain. Blood. Agony.
Harry choked back a sob. Sweet Merlin it hurt. The only good thing about the pain was that Ginny was not suffering it…
"Well, well, well, Mr. Potter." Voldemort spoke at last, stepping over the Harry's limp form. "It seems that your foolish love for a blood traitor has got you in a spot of difficulty!" That cold, high-pitched laughter penetrated the fog in Harry's mind. It was going to be the last thing he heard…
"Avada…"
What? He was dying! Why would they use the death curse on him?
"…Kedavra!"
Harry realised as soon as the flash of green entered his vision.
Ginny was dead.
Just like that. So simple. So sudden. Just gone.
A deep, anger rose in Harry. He had never felt like this before. He could feel something within him stirring. Underneath both the physical and emotional agony, Harry could feel his magic spiralling out of control. It was filling him up, consuming him, swelling the grief that dominated his heart. Ginny, his Ginny was gone! And it was all this bastard's fault!
"Avada Kedavra!" Harry chocked out. A flash of green light and then darkness.
x0x
Realising what Ron was about to do, Hermione screamed in fear. Putting his fast reactions into use, Harry flung himself in front of Hermione.
CRACK!
The force of the momentum behind the punch sent Harry crashing into Hermione, both tumbled to the floor, Hermione yelping as she hit her head on the corner of the coffee table.
When Harry staggered to his feet, Ron saw that as well as one of the lenses in Harry's glasses being shattered, sending shards of glass into Harry's face, Harry's nose was bent at an odd angel, blood streaming down his face. Ron's face drained of colour.
"Harry, mate-"
"You complete bastard, Ron!" Harry hissed. His cold voice could almost be mistaken for Parseltoungue. "How could you even attempt that!"?
"Harry, I-"
"Save it, Ron!" Harry drew his wand. Ron ignored it.
"I'm sor-"
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT YOU ARE SORRY!" Harry's temper flared up. Three months of suppressed emotions were released. "I CAN'T BELIVE YOU, RON! HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU BLAME HERMIONE! BLAME ME! BLAME VOLDEMORT! BLAME SODDING JENNY FOR ALL I CARE! JUST DON'T BLAME HERMIONE! HOW COULD SHE HAVE KNOWN THAT VOLDEMORT'S FINEST HAD SLIPPED PAST THE WARDS ON THE BURROW! HOW COULD WE HAVE KNOWN THAT, THAT DAY WOULD BE THE DAY WHEN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO END!" Ron's jaw had dropped open, he was staring past Harry, at Hermione who was quietly sobbing on the floor, a trail of Harry's blood running don her pale blue robes. "She saved Jenny's life! She saved your niece's life! You could at least be a little grateful!"
"But-"
"Do NOT interrupt me! How can you be so sure that if Hermione had stayed, Ginny would live? Would you rather Hermione had died and Ginny lived? DO YOU REALISE HOW BLOODY HARD ITS BEEN FOR ME! I WAS IN LOVE WITH HER! WE WERE MARRIED FOR GOD'S SAKE! I LOVED HER JUST AS MUCH AS YOU; MAYBE EVEN MORE! AND DO I BLAME HEMRIONE? DO I?"
Ron didn't answer.
Silence.
Complete and utter silence. Only perpetrated by the occasional drip of blood from Harry's nose.
Whimpering. Crying. Sobbing.
Somehow the sound of Jenny's sobs hurt Harry more than anything else that had happened tonight. The desperate cries stabbed his heart. Without a backward glance he swept into the spare room and tenderly scooped up Jenny, who immediately quietened and clung to her father.
Harry's eyes prickled as he stood there, his head still spinning from the shouting of a couple of minutes ago. He couldn't stop them. The tears.
Not bothering to wipe them away, Harry returned to the living room. Both Ron and Hermione were watching the door. Harry could barely bring himself to look at them. Each looking shocked at the tears dripping down Harry's face, flowing as freely as the blood from his nose.
"I'm going now." Harry's voice was barely more than a whisper, but everyone heard it clearly. "Forever. I can't cope with this. I can't be the hero anymore. I can't stay strong.
"You used to be my strength. At times you two and Ginny were the only thing that kept me going. Before Jenny, I had considered suicide. Without you two and Ginny I would have given up long ago." Hermione let out a soft gasp. "Perhaps you understand why I must go. I know the Hermione and Ron from Hogwarts would have. But if the Hermione and Ron from Hogwarts were still here, I would not be doing this."
Slowly Harry drew his wand.
In one swift movement he had smashed it against the wall, breaking it clean in two. Hermione gasped again, Ron just stared.
"Sometimes I wondered whether there would be a happy ending."
A chocked sob from Hermione.
"Do not try to contact me. I do not belong in the wizarding world, I have lost too much. My parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Lupin and now you. If you have any respect for the friendship we once had, you will leave me to have the one thing I have always wanted."
"Peace."
Harry swept out the doorway, gently rocking Jenny in his arms, disappearing into the unknown.
Well, how was that? Be totaly honest, your feedback is very important to me.I love writing one-shots and I need to know how to make them even better. If you have any questions I'll email you a reply or something.