Disclaimer: Okay, really!? It's still not mine. None of it – just Lorraine and you can only use her if you ask me nicely. I know it's early for Christmas and I don't own that either! Also, I started this fic series before Prentiss left and before this mystery woman… but if you've read this far, you probably know that. Flames will be written in as unsubs and will be summarily dealt with… Morgan-style.

Ch. 1 – Spencer Scrooge

"Oh, the weather outside is frightful! But the fire is sooo delightful!" Garcia sang as she glided along the halls on red suede Jessica Simpson heels. "And since we've no place to go – let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Hell-LO, my lovelies… and fearless leader… I brought Christmas cookies! I got there at opening this morning, so thank me profusely!"

She sailed merrily into the boardroom with the box bearing the legend 'Lavender Moon Cupcakery.' The entire team could hear her jingle-bell earrings, plus the one on her mini-Santa-hat headband, all the way down the hall. They sat up in their chairs and even Hotch had to smile a little. Morgan beamed at his pretty Mama and held out an expectant hand. JJ and Prentiss actually got up, removing the box from Garcia's hand. Rossi grumped good-naturedly, "What, no cannoli?" On the whole, the team brightened at the blonde's grand entry.

Spencer Reid, on the other hand, tried his best to scrunch his six-foot-three frame into his chair and shrink away unnoticed. He leaned over his notes, staring at them so hard that he wondered if he might burn a hole through them. Grinding his teeth, he tried hard to ignore the sounds of his teammates being happy. If he pretended not to notice them, maybe they would ignore him too. However, the inevitable feeling of eyes burning into the back of his head set on him.

"Spence, come have a cookie!" called JJ, waving to draw his eyes away from his notes. "These have real buttercream frosting on them!"

He ground his teeth hard enough to become audible and JJ reached over with her cookie-free hand and pinched him. Just to avoid everyone giving him a hard time, he did accept the cookie. The frosting design on it made him actively want to chuck the thing in the wastebasket and take the rest of the day off. On the white frosting background was a sort of irregular black shape. JJ pinched him again – he hadn't been aware of grinding his teeth that time. He pasted on one of his "on the list" smiles and turned to Garcia.

"You know, there are several legends around the world of assistants to Santa Claus," he announced to the room at large. "Krampus and Black Peter are the first to come to mind, their job being to punish naughty children and…"

Garcia stared at him over the top of her sparkly red-framed cat-eye glasses.

"Yes, it's a lump of coal," she deadpanned back at him. "It's called a joke, my lovely damaged boy wonder."

Spencer grumped and nibbled on the cookie. Okay, he had to admit, it was a pretty good cookie. He mumbled a thank-you to Garcia and slouched out of the room towards the coffee machine. Cookies and milk, cookies and over-creamed coffee… What was the difference? He poured himself a cup – it was lukewarm – and added as much French Vanilla creamer as he could. Dunking the cookie a few times, he ate with a grouchy look on his face. Two interns refilled their Tervis coffee cups and am-scrayed at his expression.

"Bah humbug…" he told his cookie, taking another bite.

The rest of the cookie disappeared in four bites. Lukewarm coffee didn't really do much to help Spencer's mood, but he swilled it anyway. It was caffeinated and, at this point, he just didn't give that much of a damn. Out of coffee, he started back to the board room. His head started to hurt at the sounds pouring out: the voices of Alvin and the Chipmunks and Morgan yelling in protest. Thankfully, Spencer stepped into the room just as Hotch took matters into his own hands and shut the speaker off himself. Garcia pouted briefly and skittered back to her technological lair.

They still had another three hours of case review to get through. Hotch had opened his collection of case folders and they tucked in for ten minutes' worth. Then, Spencer felt the familiar buzzing in his trouser pocket that announced a text message. He looked over at Morgan to make sure this didn't smack of a reboot of their practical joke war. Either it wasn't or Morgan had definitely improved his poker face one hundred percent. The genius decided to chance it, sliding his phone out of his pocket under the rim of the table.

JJ and Prentiss gave each other side-long looks and the both of them diligently pretended not to notice Spencer staring determinedly under the table. He quickly glanced at Hotch, who seemed to be explaining something to Rossi. Coast was clear, so he flipped the device open. Okay, no need to start flicking paper clips at Morgan just yet – the text message was from Lorraine.

"Drop by my apartment when you get off!" it read. He could hear her chipper voice as if she were sitting right beside him. A second message popped up over the first one, saying "Movie night!"

Spencer couldn't help grinning – he seemed pathologically incapable of not-smiling about Lorraine. Unaware how very loud the clicks on his phone's keypad were in the board room, he messaged her back. He told her "I'll be there at 6" and remained oblivious to the five sets of eyes on him. The text message folded itself up and the envelope flew away across the screen. He continued beaming uncontrollably at the device.

"Reid, I know you didn't get this in high school," Hotch's voice broke into his thoughts. "And I'm not a teacher, but even I know that no one looks down like that and smiles."

Morgan snorted with laughter, JJ and Prentiss both rolling their eyes. Rossi smiled fondly and checked the time on his own Blackberry. Damn technological compulsions, he complained internally. The team watched Spencer turn Santa-hat red and hastily shove his phone back in his pocket. Entertainment and distraction aside, Hotch snapped his folder and they went back to it. Only three hours minus thirteen minutes…

Hotch bid them all a good evening and returned to his office, presumably to work for another hour or two. JJ grabbed her purse and one last cookie, chatting with Prentiss about the most recent Christmas toy madness. Henry had decided he absolutely had to have the light saber. Prentiss advised her to start bolting household objects down now. Morgan wanted to get to Best Buy, causing the two women to tease him about his 'man cave.' Rossi mentioned something about finishing up Christmas shopping. When the team stared, openly wondering who he could possibly be shopping for, he merely shrugged.

"What? Just because I don't have kids!" he grumbled amiably, pulling on his coat and reaching for his Armani cashmere scarf. "It comes with the family – my brothers must have ten between them. And I have a niece who's been begging for Caroline for months… Don't look at me like that – I know what American Girl dolls are!"

Prentiss teasingly asked JJ if she would rather for shop for girls' toys and if perhaps she might surprise Will with a Christmas miracle of his own. JJ asked how often Prentiss would be available to babysit in retaliation. The brunette scrunched her nose, but smiled and answered "Alternate weekends and third Tuesdays, so I can give Sergio fair warning." The two of them laughed and armed themselves with coats, gloves, scarves, hats, and purses. They ran into Garcia, bundled up in a bright green pea coat, and the three took their leave.

"So, what was Lorraine texting you about at work, Mr. 'I Don't Know How to Hide My Texting,'" Morgan ribbed his genius friend, deliberately drawing out the lady-friend's name to watch Reid turn pink. "What are you getting her for Christmas, by the way?"

Spencer yelped "Morgan!" and scrambled to grab his jacket and satchel, hoping to beat a hasty retreat. No such luck. Morgan just grabbed the last cookie and took a large bite. Rossi's ears perked up at Spencer's noise, but he decided to spare the younger man at least some embarrassment. He called "Be safe!" to the three ladies and took a different elevator. Morgan waved after him and then turned his attention back to Reid, smiling annoyingly. The genius continued stuffing random things into his bag.

"It just so happens that she and I haven't discussed the holiday season at all," he told Morgan in clipped tones, wanting nothing more than to get away. "I'm not sure we're at the point in the relationship that gift-giving is expected."

Morgan rolled his eyes and finished his cookie, licking frosting off his fingers with relish before taking the leather bomber jacket off the back of his chair.

"Kid, I've got news for you – it's Christmas," he informed the child prodigy.

Reid cracked his neck noisily.

"I really hadn't noticed," he snipped back. "I thought we had an unsub nailing up elves and candy canes everywhere."

The older man shook his head.

"Point is, get her something," he ignored the attempt at sarcasm. "I guarantee she'll appreciate it and, like it or not, she probably has something for you."

Reid looked genuinely pained.

"Had it not occurred to you that I have never bought a gift for any woman who's not my mother or a co-worker?" he asked, trying for waspish again and failing miserably.

This time, Morgan looked a bit worried.

"Oh God, tell me I'm not having to give you the 'what to give girls for Christmas' talk," he groused, scrubbing at his face with one hand. "Anything but Victoria's Secret and I think you'll be fine."

The famed 'does not compute' look lit on the skinny man's face.

"But you got…" he started.

"That was a totally different story!" Morgan yelled before the boy genius could finish that. "Trust me, just get her something nice and everything will work out fine."

Spencer smirked, gave Morgan the 'whatever you say' look, checked to make sure he had everything, and left the office. Morgan grumped for a second before putting his bomber jacket on. Something had definitely happened with Reid and this girl. He hadn't seen the little punk so visibly happy in a long time.