The summer breeze was warm against our bare skin as we sat over the towel. I inhaled the fresh air and closed my eyes, the heat mildly taking over my insides. Clare was relaxed next to me and there wasn't a day that I'd ever get tired of her presence. The only thoughts that ran through my head whenever she was around was how lucky I was to be with such perfection.

"Eli," she cooed and propped herself up onto her elbows. Her light brown hair had slightly grown since the last time she cut it when school was still in, and it made her eyes stand out more than it usually would in the sunlight. How one could tell other than myself, was impossible. I knew my Clare Edwards.

I kept my line of sight on her, "What's up?"

"I can see your tan," she whispered through her smile and sat up, giggling. Her hand directed my eyes toward my swim trunks, letting the softness of her touch help build the weird feeling in my gut. I swallowed dryly.

"I can see yours..." I retorted hoarsely and brought her body closer to me. I reached for her and moved the back of her hair away from her neck, revealing a smooth color change in her complexion. My fingers traced down the back of her neck and I smirked when her eyes closed. I stared at my girlfriend and how her lips slightly parted. I kissed her lips for a split second then smiled at her.

"Are you sure?" Clare tested me, raising an eyebrow with a similar, flirtatious smirk of her own. "I'm pretty sure I tanned somewhere else."

"You should show me where."

"And what, let you take advantage of me?" She gawked jokingly then smiled her adorable toothy grin. She kissed my lips once again and hummed an "I love you" to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she slowly pushed me down onto our towels. She lay on top of me and kept a hand on each side of my face, her lips still lingering onto mine.

She let me turn away from her power where she brought her kisses toward my neck. It used to be the other way around. I would be the one to give her guilty pleasures, but she learned too fast and too well. Her lips were now tracing lower onto my chest until I no longer felt them.

"Hey..." Clare stopped as if she had realized something wrong, and looked up from below.

"Yeah." I sat up again and so did she.

She licked her lips together and her eyes were elsewhere. I looked at her funny and touched her hand, "I'm listening..."

The look of hurt and disturbance was written across her face but she shook it off with a small smile, "Just kidding."

"I don't buy it." I stared at her, trying to read her expressions without making it obvious. She didn't speak. "Clare."

"Eli, its nothing." She muttered immediately and sat herself away from me. She faced the ocean and her back faced me. Grains of sand were still clinging onto her skin around her shoulder, but I feared if I touched her, she'd strain further away.

Clare was so different than other girls. And as I stared at her in front of me for what seemed to be hours, I didn't care that the sun had haphazardly fallen into setting. Everything about her made me want her more, aside from the fact that we were the slightest bit apart.

The way her soft and loose curls hung a little passed her shoulders and she'd run her hand through it several times, the way she'd occasionally rest back onto her palms and stretch her legs out, the way her hallow sighs filled the silence of our consented area-there were probably way too many thoughts running through her head and I felt the need to fix her.

"Clare, will you please talk to me?" I tried again, scooting closer-hoping I had given her enough time and space for her to collect her thoughts.

She turned to look at me over her shoulder and there was a sad smile across her lips. Clare then faced me completely and waited for me to make a move toward her. I did so, quickly hugging her frame. She was still silent, but before I knew it, I felt her tears fall onto my arms. "I don't think this is going to work out," Clare's scared whisper rung through my ears and stabbed me in the chest at the same time.

"What are you talking about?" My arms dropped from around her waist, and I impatiently waited for her to call it off as a joke. "Come on, Clare-where's the punchline?"

"Eli, you're going to college now! There is no punchline!" She swerved around and her eyes were continuously filling with tears. "Its all going to be different now..."

"But we've already talked about this! You'll be attending UOT next year and we'll be there together-i-isn't that we'd established?" I tried not to yell at her, but she was being irrational. Sure, University of Toronto seemed illogically close to home, but it was the only school we both agreed was decent enough to interest our majors-including the fact that we wanted to attend a school we liked together.

She shook her head, seeming to refuse anything that came out of my mouth.

"So you're breaking up with me..." I spoke flatly.

"Okay, now you're just making things up," she rolled her eyes and dabbed at them all in one movement.

"Well what else am I supposed to think? You said we weren't going to work out, right?" My hair had fallen over my eyes due to my frustration. Was I acting indifferently for the better cause? Do I have the right to consume things stubbornly? Why was she doing this?

"I wasn't talking about breaking up, Eli...!" She spoke up, resigning from her sadness, and working to defend herself. I swallowed harshly, just relieved she didn't end things between us.

"Well, care to explain?" I shouted, not understanding why on earth out of all things, Clare had to be slowly taken away from me.

"You're causing this all on your own," Clare hissed, practically answering my thoughts. "No one asked you to yell at me. Give me that at least-the decency of a tolerable conversation, Eli."

I shut my eyes and pressed my fingertips against my temples. We went from "perfect afternoon" to "shallow argument" all because I jumped to conclusions way too soon. Clare had been through too much to fight back-she would know. Fighting back would only lead to bigger messes. She'd experienced it right before her eyes over the past two years with her parents, and I wasn't helping. I needed to be an understanding boyfriend.

I looked back up and sighed heavily, bringing one hand to hold hers. She tugged slightly, not knowing if she wanted any physical contact with me at the moment, but I held to it tight. "Clare, you're right." I started but soon, my eyes shifted off and I shook my head in disgrace of my previous actions. "I shouldn't have yelled."

There wasn't a thing in this world that could take everything back to how our day started. One thing I realized over the past two years of knowing Clare was that she's strong on her own. She might have the will power to make me feel like shit when I don't acknowledge her when I need to, but it helps me improve my character as someone who truly cares about her. I've learned to witness my mistakes and change my ways for the better. She was worth that much to me.

"I-I don't know why I did-" I was losing my way words. It was harder to actually express myself out loud. My eyes were still avoiding hers, but as a response to my struggle, Clare's hand gripped mine, and my heart pounded against my chest. I couldn't lose her.

"Its okay," she whispered.

I looked up at her then; things weren't okay. "Clare, don't make me meddle things out of you." I spoke, my voice toneless. I needed an explanation of where she wanted us to end up-which quite frankly, scared me at most. She nodded her head once then let go of my hand.

"Can we just talk about this without having the other freak out before getting a reason?" She asked nervously, aware of the accusation she'd just pointed to me.

I nodded, "I can do that."

She nodded as well then bit her lip, contemplating where to start. Seconds ticked and she studied her thoughts evenly.

"Don't think. Just say," I suggested. "I'd rather know it all than to miss out on details."

"O-okay... Eli, I love you." She blurted out and fresh tears refilled her eyes. "But I don't think I can handle being away from you kn-knowing I can't see you-o-or knowing you can't hold me whenever you feel like it. Or knowing I can't kiss you when I just need my boyfriend-" She sniffled and swiped her arm across her eyes. "Eli, I don't think I can do it."

I didn't know how to react. I knew my expression explained that I wanted to throw my arms around her and tell her we'd make it through, but I couldn't make myself believe it. At least not anymore. Not when I now know she doubted what was in store for us.

"S-say something," she cried and buried her face in her hands.

I felt my mouth open, close, open-nothing. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say or where to begin. If I even tried, I'd lose myself and speak Gibberish to her. I just shook my head.

"Did you really think I'd let you go through that?" I whined confusedly to her.

"Well did you really think I'd let you go out of your way just to make me feel better?"

"I don't care. I want to see you just as much as you want to see me, Clare. Heck, even more than you'd want to see me."

She let out a sad laugh and closed her eyes. She shook her head and moved toward me again. I held her close and let my chin rest against her head. Her vanilla scent filled my air and I kissed her hair. "I love you too. You know that."

Clare nodded from under me and shuffled to face me.

"Do you believe me when I say I'm scared?"

"I believe you, but I won't ever in my right mind think we weren't meant to try."

She blinked several times, her blue eyes glossy. I would kill to know what ran through her head when she looked at me. "Why haven't you doubted me? Us? I feel like such a horrible person being the only one..." Clare moved her face back toward my chest and waited for me to answer. Her ear was pressed against my heart as if she wanted to feel it beat. Indeed, its pace picked up, and she brought her hand to hold mine.

"It never crossed my mind. The opposite has, however." I smiled and kissed the top of her head again. "Maybe if we spend the rest of our summer as we planned-"

"I don't want to lose you." She mumbled onto my skin.

"You don't have to. I'm-I'm here to stay."

For a minute, she paused and I regretted saying those words to her. It was like the first time she told me she loved me. I didn't know how to react even if I felt the same way.

But she looked up at me and smiled. I kissed her lips.

"I-" she swallowed and leaned closer. "Me too."