(76. Good intentions- HD! 100 Secrets Themes)
A/N: This is for someone who gave me up so I could be happy. He's been my friend for almost two years and now we're finally going to break it. Till we meet again, old friend. Thank you.
For You I Will
"I'm sorry but I have to go." I said quietly. The silence was palpable between us. She merely stared at me with her sweet-sad pearly gray eyes. I felt something break inside me.
She didn't deserve this hurt. I wanted to spare her but life is so unfair. I just couldn't do it...
I had to do this.
"Can you please, at least, tell me why?" her voice was softer than anything I've ever heard before.
I turned my back on her. I knew she was shaking so bad I was scared she would break. My own tears threatened to fall. I've never wanted anything more than to go to her, hold her, and never leave her side.
"I can't tell you." God, this was the hardest thing I've ever done. And the most hurtful. "You don't have to know."
"But I have to! Can't you at least clear it up before you leave?" Because I'll hurt you more with leftover regrets and what-ifs… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
I wanted to tell her that I had to leave her because she was going to be married to some other guy. Her father had arranged for her to wed one of the greatest ninjas on the country. He specifically ordered me to hurt her so much, to break her so she would not want me back. The great bastard had ordered me to break my own heart.
And you know what's so maddening about this? I accepted this mission without thinking because they said it was a Class A and needed my expertise. Only when I realized the consequences did I regret accepting the money that came with it. A million and half ryo in exchange of my lover's broken heart.
That's why she didn't have to know. She didn't have to know that I'd accepted money from her father and that I was doing it because principle said so. It was for her own good.
I thought that this was the best path. How can I smile and pretend dreaming with her when I know she would marry someone else someday? It was making her hope on something impossible for the both of us. Her clan would never allow me to be her husband.
So I have to be cruel to be kind.
"Naruto-kun..." she said brokenly.
I could feel her trembling behind me. I didn't realize that she'd walked and stood right behind me.
She'd laid her head on my back and grasped the shirt. Her tears were soaking the cloth and touching my spirit.
"Hinata-chan." I said, taking a deep breath. "Please, you don't have to stay with me anymore."
"I want to. You're the only man I'll ever love. I don't want to end this in confusion. Was it me?
What have I done to make you leave? Tell me and I'll change..." It hurt me to see her pride and beauty be reduced to this. She was begging already. "Naruto-kun, don't you love me?"
I shouldn't have answered. I should have walked away and never came back. I should've forgotten about the quiet secret garden, the cool breeze, and the beautiful girl I was willing to sacrifice my happiness for.
But I did. It was in me to be honest to her.
"I do love you. It's not you. All of this is my fault. You don't want anything to do with me, Hinata-chan. You'll regret loving me in the first place." I wanted to scare her to truly push her away. But she was too fragile, too kind to be shown such cruelty.
Hiashi Hyuuga had threatened to remove me from my post and push me into the blacklisted ninja files. He'd threatened to ruin me so much I won't consider anything less than suicide. If I don't leave his daughter alone, he will destroy me. She too will be destroyed in the process. I don't want to bring her into this. I had better push her to the path that will be best for us. It will not bring any happiness but at least I'll know she's okay and comfortable and well-cared for. That's enough for me. Even though I'll probably live through a thousand years of regrets.
Against my better judgment, I turned around and hugged her. I kissed her hair and her lips and her hands. I memorized her every feature into my mind. I hugged her so tightly I was scared I might break her. I inhaled the sweetest scent in the world and ached more for her. She'll always be the one I love.
She cried on my chest and I felt myself being tortured more. I didn't want to hurt her anymore than
I have to. I love her and I made her cry. How low could I go?
So I placed a sleeping jutsu on her. She instantly went limp on my arms. I stared for a moment at her beautiful sleeping face before I hoisted her on my back on piggyback style. She was light as a feather and warmer than the sun.
I carried her effortlessly to the Hyuuga compound.
I held her in my arms for a while. I could've held her like that for eternity until common sense told me she was going to wake up.
"You're so pretty when you smile. Your voice sounds like an angel's. And do you know, for you I will do anything. Even break your heart so that you will later be secure and happy." I said as I sobbed on her shoulder. I meant every word I said.
I'd left her hanging. It was time I made it true.But before I went, I placed an ardent kiss on her lips and whispered all of my love for her through my sobs and tears. I knew I'd left my heart with her. I etched those sweet stolen moments in my mind before I knocked on the door.
They weren't expecting me. But Hiashi came out and took his daughter from my arms. He looked at her before turning his gaze towards me. His face was unreadable. "You know what's good for you."
I said nothing. Sunset made everything look like it was bathed in blood.
"She'll be comfortable in all of her days. You would become Hokage. I thank you for a mission well-done." With that, he shut the door.
I was left standing in front of the gate. My hands clenched together and I let out an angry howl. My heart was numb from all of my pain. Anger had taken their place. I beat my fists on the ground and shouted my heart out.
When I was done with my rage, I started to walk away without looking back.
For you I will do anything, even break my own heart…