Chapter one
Tom Riddle Jr. was fresh out of Hogwarts with the highest grades any wizard ever got at the school. He at first didn't know what he wanted to do with his life so he took a job as a professor at Cal Tech and moved to Pasadena to live with muggles.
He arrived at the apartment building as this short guy with glasses who looked like the guy from Roseanne was leaving. Tom asked, "Can you tell me where Sheldon Cooper lives?"
"You here about the apartment? Run away."
Tom thought this was strange but didn't worry too much about it as he went up to the 4th floor. He knocked on 4b and a black guy wearing a dress answered. After a few awkward moments Tom asked, "Sheldon?"
"No" the guy said. "You want the freak across the hall?"
Tom knocked on the door and Sheldon answered. "Hi." Tom said. "I called about the room to rent."
"Yes I know you did. I never forget. York or Sargent?"
"Excuse me?"
"I asked Dick York or Dick Sargent. Which was the better Darrin?"
"York?"
"You asking or telling?"
"Telling"
"Correct. Obviously York was the far better Darrin. Replacing him would be like replacing Spock with an android. You passed the first test to get to live here."
This went on for several hours. Many questions asked and finally a roommate agreement was signed and Tom moved in.