Last Goodbye
Anime: Bleach
By: Ryu-Takehshi

Ichigo's POV
Alternate Chapter 423 ending

So clearly, after a battle, my mind doesn't work well under pressure.

I knew I heard her say that I would lose my shinigami powers, and I know that my response, my unwavering expression, came as a shock to everyone… especially Rukia…

It finally dawned on me when the shinigami girl questioned my indifferent answer.

"Nah…" I shook my head. To be honest, though, the thoughts of actually loosing my powers hadn't really crossed my mind; but they (they being Orihime, Sado and Ishida) didn't have to hear all of that.

"I'd figured this would happen." Well, it was sort of the truth.

I know Rukia noticed the sadness in my eyes as I asked if I could go outside for a bit.

I kinda wanted to be alone, hence my asking to step outside, but, being such great friends, they all followed me out. Although, maybe I wouldn't have minded just Rukia coming along with me; she was always my sidekick, after all.

My thoughts were so jumbled and I couldn't take it all in at once. I was loosing my powers for good. No more annoying mod-souls or Uruhara, no more hollow calls in the middle of the night or during a test, no more trying to hide my double-life as a shinigami; a normal life like this was just too good to be true. Isn't that what I wanted?

And then, when I finally realized the reason Rukia was shocked at my lack thereof, she completely beat me to the punch.

"This is farewell… Ichigo…"

Wait, hasn't this happened before?

I turned to face Rukia, my shinigami, my roommate, my pain in the ass, my best friend.

Yeah, this has happened before and, since it has, you'd think that I would've acted differently from the last time.

But no, like I said, my mind just doesn't work under pressure like this. For some reason, I know I heard her - her heartbreaking words - but the thought that this was really our last goodbye just didn't reach my rational mind as fast as it should have.

So, just like the last time it happened, back in the Soul Society, I gave the stupidest answer known to man and ghost.

"Seems so…"

Seems so…? What the hell is wrong with me? I even smiled a bit; you'd think I would've learned… would've understood that this wasn't what Rukia wanted to hear.

And, being Rukia, she totally noticed my inner-scolding right away. "What? Don't look sad." Her eyes darted away from mine. "Even if you can no longer see me, I can still see you."

I gave her a look of disbelief for a moment when she wasn't looking my way. Was that supposed to be a way of consoling me?

"What? That doesn't make me happy at all!" Whoa, Ichigo Kurosaki said exactly what was on his mind for the first time ever.

"And, I wasn't making a sad face either!" I added in; because we all knew that that moment was too good to last.

She walked straight up to me and we faced each other as if nothing had changed, as if nothing was wrong. She looked up at me, which was the last time I could notice how I tower over her, and she smiled.

It was a smile I knew all to well, one that I completely understood the depth of; the kind of smile that I used to wear, the one that told those close to you of how much your soul was dying on the inside, dying to say something, anything more than the words that hung on your lip.

"I had to do something about this" was my mind's only response to her empty smile.

This was the last time I would ever see her, wasn't it? I don't want the last image of Rukia in my mind to be of her trying to be strong, trying not to cry, for my sake. I curse the day her Kuchiki upbringing decidedly told her never to cry, and she needed to know that.

"Rukia…"

"What is it…?" I heard her voice crack.

I turned slightly to face Ishida, Sado and Orihime, and the two boys nodded at me as they escorted the confused Orihime back into the clinic, leaving me and Rukia to each other.

"W-why did the others…?"

"Rukia…" I stopped her again as she turned back to face me.

"What?" She stood straight and tried to look bigger than her midget body would allow.

"Don't do that Rukia…"

I understand…

"Please Rukia, it's only us now…"

I think I finally understand…

"The others went inside so you don't have to act strong in front of them."

"W-what are you talking about?" Her voice cracked again.

The last image of Rukia that I want to see…

"Rukia," I sighed, "…you can cry if you want to…"

The very last image I want to see…

I caught a glimpse of her shocked, yet knowing at the same time, expression before her raven-head dropped, masking her face from my gaze as she balled her fists at her side.

"R-Rukia…?"

Suddenly, she rushed at me, pushing me back slightly as she clenched the sides of my sweater and sobbed into my shirt.

"I… Idiot!" she muffled into my sweater.

I want to see the true Rukia…

I put my hand on her back and gripped her shoulder. "I know Rukia… I know…"

She looked up at me as tears spilled out of her violet eyes. "Y-you're such an idiot!" she cried. Figures Rukia would still be yelling at me, even at a time like this.

"O-only you…" she muttered; her voice strangely quiet all of a sudden. "Why is it that only you can make me cry like this?"

I smiled warmly as my other hand came up and cupped her cheek to wipe away some of the tears. "Now who's making the sad face?"

"S-shut up…" Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared up at me sadly.

I gave her a warm smile. "Hey… I don't want the last image of you in my mind to be crying either…"

Her eyes widened, spilling out more tears. "W-what…?"

"Rukia… I'd rather see your smile…"

Maybe, I thought, just maybe I've wanted to do this all along. Maybe it was because I didn't want things to change, that's why I didn't go any further. Maybe I was just too much of a chicken, telling myself that it wasn't right, or I was just kidding myself. Maybe I was just too scared to admit it was happening right in front of me.

"I-Ichigo…?" she hiccupped as I brought her head in closer to mine.

Maybe I really am an idiot…

I was inching in slowly and, to my initial shock, she quickly closed the gap between our mouths, pressing her lips against mine as I felt her grip on my sweater tighten.

That's so Rukia-like of her to do that and completely ruin my dramatic descent. I slowly closed my eyes and I knew she could feel my smirk against her lips.

Ahh well, it's not like I can complain now.

I gripped her shoulder a little tighter, as she did with my sweater as well, and we stayed in that position for as long as time would allow us.

Rukia and I know each other well enough to understand that we usually think the same thoughts; great minds think alike I suppose. So, I could make a pretty good guess that she was thinking the same as me.

Was it relief that I felt? Closure, maybe? It was like I had been waiting an entire lifetime for this moment; and it was strange that I had to go to the edge of the afterlife and back to finally realize it.

All good things must come to an end, huh?

Suddenly, I couldn't feel the tiny shoulder I was gripping on any longer and, as was inevitable, the soft warmth against my lips faded away slowly as well.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to see the harsh reality of the world where shinigami, arancar, vizards, hollows, the Soul Society… and Rukia… weren't supposed to exist.

But then I felt it and my eyes shot open. A familiar sort of warmth touched my cheek but, as I looked around, I was staring at nothing but air.

I could feel it though, as if she was right there with me again. Her hand was against my cheek, sort of like the time we first met, except without a black marker or a crappy-drawn moustache on my face.

Then I felt my shinigami's lips against my forehead for a moment but, the warmth of Rukia's touch left as quickly as it had come and my fists balled to the sides.

Maybe I was just too afraid to admit it.

I took a step back, took a deep breath and yelled as loud as I could to the air in front of me, to Rukia in front of me.

"I… I love you Rukia!"

A strange gust of wind blew against me as I searched the scenery around me for some sort of reply, some sort of sign that she got my message.

I felt a weirdly familiar pain in my shin like someone had just kicked me out of anger; and that was about as much of a 'sign' as I needed.

I could only imagine her face turning red and her kicking me as I yelled that out loud.

My head dropped as tears slipped down my face, but I was smiling, laughing, nonetheless. I looked back up as the sun shone down beautifully against the blue sky.

"Thank you… Rukia…" I muttered as I wiped my tears and slid my hands into my pockets.

And, I swear I think I heard the wind by my ear laughing at me, in the typical, light, true-Rukia laugh; and I smiled even wider.

I love you too, idiot… Even if I couldn't see her, I could still hear her mocking me.

"You'd better wait up for me…" I pulled my signature scowl at the wind and it sounded like it was laughing even harder.

Ishida, Sado and Orihime came running out of the clinic, trying to console me, to the best of their abilities. But, there was nothing they could do. Sadness and happiness swirled around in my head and I didn't know what I was supposed to feel.

The only thing I could do was mutter to my self. "Did you hear me, shinigami?" I smiled, and I knew she was smiling back at me. "Wait for me… Rukia…"

Yes, I should be updating "In Memory Of…" but after reading chapter 423 it was impossible for me not write a fan fiction about it! (Yes, that was a double negative… I think…) I swear I was yelling at my Ipod while I was reading it and my brother gave me this weird look. I have a couple more post-423 ideas coming so we'll see how those go (IchixRuki, of course). But, if you're waiting for me to update "In Memory Of…" it'll definitely be up in the next couple of days. So sorry about the updating troubles!
Anyway, I'd like to know what people thought about this. I know this isn't the end that Tite Kubo intended (please don't tell me otherwise, I'm happily in denial right now) but I couldn't wait two weeks to know what happens without some sort of remedy, which ultimately turned into this.
In terms of this fic, I don't really like how it turned out, I mean I don't mind the beginning but I think something happened along the ways to the ending. Also, I'm sorry with Ichigo and Rukia might be OOC, but I wanted to get some emotion in it (which I suck at so I don't know why I tried). I guess the idea seemed a lot better in my head then it did typed out, but that's just my opinion. Send in a review and let me know what you thought of it~! (^_^)