AN: This to me feels like a rough draft of how I want to continue this story. I think it is missing something important, but I can't figure it out, it all feels so disjointed somehow. Any feedback would be nice.

-The Situation

-0-

They traveled for days straight only stopping for brief rests in the car, pit stops at small gas stations, a quick stop at a mom and pop store for clothes, and meals at local diners. In that time nether of them really talked and Bucky was constantly on guard against her, not trusting her one bit. He was keeping her as a hostage so if anyone came after him he'd have some leverage, or at least that's what he told himself when he looked at her out of the corner of his eye when he thought she wasn't paying attention.

That evening Cheshire set on the edge of another crappy bed in another crappy hotel in another crappy city starring over to Bucky who was peering through the curtains. After dragging her from the museum to the vacant house they had been set upon by some less then desirables forcing them to flee. Now they were on the run from everyone and worst of all Cheshire still wasn't sure if Bucky knew who she was or not because so far he had treated her like a prisoner.

They were on their way to a port city now and Bucky had made plans to take a boat ride across the big pond. Cheshire was a little nervous that after this he wouldn't have any more use for her, then he'd either attempt to kill her or just leave her behind.

Cheshire barely even moved as the door to the room opened and Bucky stepped in dressed in a hoody, jeans, and sneakers. He shut the door locking it behind him sending her a quick glance before setting the take out on the table. Bucky was on edge from the near misses with everyone that was chasing them as well as the emotional torture that having Cheshire around was putting him through. Snippets of memories were returning and he wasn't sure what to trust, but his heart, it had been so long he even knew he still had one, it was pulling him toward the vaguely familiar woman.

"Are you always going to look surprised when you see I'm still here?" Cheshire asked. "I'm starting to think you want me to make a run for it."

"You'd be smart to." He replied setting out the food.

"Yes, well I'm not smart." Cheshire walked over to the table.

"You're smart." Bucky grumbled. "You're stubborn to."

"It's one of my many charms." Cheshire started eating, Bucky doing the same. She almost missed the small grin he shot her before he took a bite.

His personality was coming back quicker than his memories were so that was making it doubly hard on Cheshire, but it was like a roller coaster, sometimes he'd be the Bucky she remembered and other times, a complete stranger.

After eating she went to one of the beds plopping down and turning on the TV to a re-run of something or another. Bucky was still eating having to consume much more than her do to the side effects of the serum they gave him. The TV was just something to occupy her mind, though it did a poor job as her eyes became unfocused. Memories flooded her mind and she was unable to keep them at bay.

She didn't even notice the tears streaming down her eyes until her vision was too blurred to see. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her arm angrily, she hadn't let her emotions get the best of her in years and she was not about to stop now.

"Cheshire?" Bucky said uncertainly. Of all the times for him to take notice of her, for the past days it had been stony silence, with just the bare minimum of conversation between them.

"What's up?" Cheshire asked turning her head from him, hiding her tears, but he had already seen them. Bucky walked over to the bed sitting in front of her causing it to dip slightly.

"Are you ok?" He asked. Where the heck was this concern coming from, Cheshire knew she wouldn't be able to handle it all if he started being nice to her all of the sudden, she wasn't ready.

"Yeah, of course, I'm fine…" Cheshire trailed off taking a deep breath. "Really, I'm…."

"Anya." And that was all he had to say for the dam to burst, the tears turning into sobs.

Bucky didn't say anything else as he gently pulled her into a tight hug. She had been so angry, sad, and scared at the same time for so many years, since she had lost him, then here he was right before her with barely an inkling of who she was, and it was ripping her heart to shreds. She clung to him as she pressed herself against him. She absorbed the soothing feeling of his hand rubbing her back gently resting his head on top of hers. Then to her and his own surprise he gently started to kiss the top of her head then slowly moved down to her forehead, her eyes, then her cheeks, and finally his lips found hers in a blazingly passionate kiss

It had been so long, so many dreams of this, his lips on hers. The way his arms wrapped around her pulling her close to his chest where she felt his heart beating beneath her hands making her feel more whole than she had in many, many years. He was here, he was alive, and she was so happy, but suddenly he jerked back away from her wide eyed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't…" Bucky quickly snapped to his feet rushing out of the room.

Cheshire watched him go the door slamming behind him as she brought her knees up to her chest as her tears started all over again. To have that wonderful feeling once again and have it ripped away left her heart in unbearable pain. She rocked back and forth forcing her sobs to remain silent, trying to push everything to the back of her mind again.

-0-

The next morning Cheshire heard the bathroom door open and close as she laid curled up in bed not wanting to move a muscle. She was dealing with her rocky emotions and what had happened the day before like she dealt with other traumatic events in her life. She stuffed them into a deep dark corner of her mind locking them away until the burst. If she pretended that it didn't happen then maybe so would Bucky.

Speaking thusly of she heard the bathroom door open and close followed by the hesitant sound of footsteps moving past the bed to the small table. When Bucky had come back in the night before, Cheshire had heard him, but hadn't moved a muscle even when she smelled donuts.

She untangled herself from the bed grabbing some clothes on her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. After a quick rinse off she got ready for the day and came back out taking a seat across from Bucky.

They ate their breakfast in silence, no one bringing up the night before. When they were done Cheshire made to clear the table, but Bucky beat her to it, wadding everything up and throwing it away. She noticed that Bucky kept running his hand through his long hair trying to keep it out of his face.

"Bucky." Cheshire gained his attention.

"What?" Bucky eyed her suspiciously.

"You need a haircut, real bad, do you want it cut or something?" Cheshire asked holding out a hair tie. He took it tying his hair from his face, giving her a nod of thanks.

"Something tells me the local barber might be hesitant to approach me." Bucky gestured to his metal arm after he had pulled his hair back into a low ponytail.

"True, well I could give it a shot if you want." Cheshire offered.

"Sure, maybe later." Bucky replied, still not that comfortable being near someone, especially after what had happened the night before.

"Sounds good." Cheshire nodded as they once again descended into an uncomfortable silence. About mid-day Bucky slipped out of the room to make sure they were still under the radar and make things ready for their next move.

Cheshire set up in front of the TV surrounded by various snacks, the ice cream having not been enough, watching an old movie when she heard Bucky come back in. She didn't know how worried she was until she felt the relief wash over her. It had taken him a little longer than usual to make his rounds and she thought he had up and left her for a moment. He walked in, the door shutting and securing behind him.

"How was your walk?" Cheshire asked looking over the couch to him.

"It was fine." Bucky replied glancing at the screen. "What's that?"

"It's the Philadelphia Story, care to join me? It just started." Cheshire asked with a small smile, but could see him hesitating, weighing the variables as well as looking over to her, worry in his eyes. It broke her heart to see that kind of fear directed at her and her smile faltered. "You don't have to Bucky, I mean it's completely up to you."

He sat on the other bed in the room casting her unsure glances, which hurt more than if he had just ignored her. Pushing her feelings aside she moved the bowl of popcorn so that it was between them on the nightstand and focused her attention on the screen.

-0-

They had made it to a small forested port town where their boat would be leaving from to take them across to the other side of the big pond. Cheshire had decided to take this time to take a run and let out a lot of her pent up stress.

Cheshire kept her breathing even as she ran through the woods enjoying nature all around her. It was always soothing and had helped to heal her more than once, offering her an escape. She moved off of the trail allowing the thick vegetation and rocks to become her obstacle course pushing her reflexes to the limit refusing to slow down until you came to a small lake, stopping right at the water's edge.

Cheshire stretched her arms over her head taking in a deep breath, the scent confirming to her that Bucky had followed her. She could tell he was trying to stay down wind so she wouldn't smell him, but she had caught and whiff and knew he was there. Whether it was to make sure she wasn't up to something or that he just wanted to be near her was a toss-up.

Rolling her shoulder she kicked off her running shoes and took off her jacket revealing her purple t shirt and jean shorts then walked into the water making sure to stay in the shallows considering swimming with adamantium bones was like swimming with an anvil strapped to her back.

Slowly she started to hum then began to sing 'Again' by Lionel Newman while she swayed in the water. Bucky crept closer staying in the tree line as he listened to the familiar song. He remembered that sometimes after missions he would remember it, or when he was really scared it always comforted him. Listening to Cheshire sing it felt…right and seemed to fill him with warmth he had not felt in too long.

She moved through the water allowing her hands to skim over the water causing ripples to spread out. She watched them grow until the water once again became smooth still singing hoping that the song would trigger something in Bucky.

As soon as the song was done she waded out of the water grabbing her shoes before running back through the woods towards home. Bucky watched her go before moving toward the shoreline picking up her jacket that she had left behind.

-0-

Cheshire was laying on the bed starring up at the ceiling when a loud scream from the bathroom made her whole body jerk having to bite her lip to stop her own scream from escaping. Cheshire bolted into the bathroom breaking the lock on the door as she forced it open. She saw Bucky curled up tight on the floor gripping his head, his teeth clenching together in pain.

"Bucky? Bucky what's wrong?" Cheshire called out dropping to her knees next to him as she gently touched his shoulder.

"Get away!" Bucky screamed lashing out, his flesh fist smacking her straight in the face. She stumbled back with a yelp of pain as Bucky struggled to his feet glaring down at her with cold eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'm Anya, your…friend." Cheshire snapped as she forced her bleeding nose back into place allowing it to heal correctly. "Damn!"

"I don't know you." He snarled grabbing her with his metal arm by her black tank top depicting the Disney version of the Cheshire Cat. He raised her up so that her back converse clad feet were no longer touching the ground. "Are you Hydra?"

"Let me go." Cheshire hissed, her eyes narrowing.

"Are you Hydra?" He demanded as he shook her.

"No." Cheshire snapped, her eyes going red.

"Then you are the enemy." He reared back his free hand, but Cheshire was quicker as she gripped his metal hand giving her leverage to kick him straight in his gut. With his lack of armor it was a powerful enough hit to send him stumbling back releasing her.

She landed on her feet going straight into a defensive stance as Bucky attacked sending out a series of sharp jabs, the most if which Cheshire took in her side, her arms up guarding her face. She rolled under his next jab and performed an upper cut to his jaw then spun around kicking him back even further.

She went for another punch only for him to grab her arm spinning her around so that his metal arm was wrapped around her neck, his flesh arm pinning her arms at her side.

"Bucky…Bucky…let me go." Cheshire struggled. "I'm your friend."

"You're not Hydra." Bucky tightened his hold around her neck cutting off air flow and leaving her no choice. She flexed her hands drawing her claws digging them into his side then when he loosened his hold in pain allowing her room to slam her adamantium skull into his face.

Cheshire fell to her knees as she coughed, trying to suck in as much air as possible while Bucky slid down the wall to the floor with a groan, his hands pressed over his face. Cheshire slowly looked to Bucky, her whole being tense as she watched him.

When he removed his hands from his face she saw that he had a split lip, some bruising on his cheek and jawline, and she was pretty sure his stomach was bruised as well. He slowly blinked his eyes like he was just waking up, then they really came into focus when his eyes met hers they filled with horror.

"I…I did that…" He said weakly.

"Don't worry about it." Cheshire said wiping the blood from her face and showing him the rapidly healing bruise. "I heal fast remember." Cheshire moved over so that she was sitting against the wall next to him. "What brought that on?"

"The memories, they hurt." He squeezed his eyes shut, his fists gripped tightly at his sides as he started to shake. "Sometimes they're little memories, but then sometimes huge chunks and I can't stop them, they just keep coming."

"I'm sorry." Cheshire said softly as she hesitantly placed her hand over his, relieved when he didn't pull away. Suddenly he doubled over with a scream of pain scarring Cheshire out of her wits. She instantly wrapped her arms around him holding him close as she continued to scream out.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist shaking hard like he was having seizure of some kind as she rocked him back and forth talking softly to him words of encouragement. Slowly he calmed down as his memories ran their course and started to stop. He stayed in her arms for a while as his breathing evened out and the pain left. She rubbed his back in a soothing manor, relaxing the tensed muscles.

'He liked this, being in her arms, being held, it felt nice, it felt familiar and so safe.' He thought to himself as she gently moved his hair out of his face. He had gone so long without this kind of contact; it was always torture nothing else.

"You ok?" She asked softly as he looked back up at her. He nodded slowly in response a faint blush on his face as he started to try and sit up with Cheshire's help. "What happened? Was it more memories?"

"It was a memory…of the train and falling off of it, Steve trying to grab me…he was so desperate." Bucky said as he gripped her hand not willing to let go of her completely as he sorted through his latest memories. "I could remember falling all of the sudden and then being dragged through the snow… my arm was gone and there was so much blood…my blood." He started to breath hard and Cheshire started to rub his back comfortingly. "Then the experiments and the tests, they ripped off the rest of my arm replacing it with this." He held up the metal arm, a look of disgust on his features. "Then they strapped me to a chair and wiped my memory, everything that was me they took away. Over and over again then they'd shove me into the cold make me sleep then wake me up for a mission to kill. Pierce, he ordered me to kill Steve, to kill you." He really started to shake. "Wipe, cold, kill, that was my life for the past seventy years, wipe, cold, kill."

"But it's not your life anymore." Cheshire said and her head cocked to the side with those simple words coupled with her hand soothingly rubbing circles on his back as she held his hand with her other he felt calm. "You are not what happened to you, you are what you choose to become."

"What happened…to Pierce?" Bucky asked.

"Me." Cheshire said darkly, her eyes flashing red, and Bucky let the subject drop. "How about we get you cleaned up and you can go for a walk outside, get some fresh air?"

"Sounds like a good idea." Bucky nodded as they both stood up, Cheshire taking care of his wounds before they left the bathroom. Cheshire plopped down onto the bed and was about to turn on the TV when Bucky paused at the door looking back at her.

"Aren't you coming with me?" Bucky asked causing her eyebrows to shoot up in surprise.

"Really? You wouldn't mind?" Cheshire asked and felt her heart jolt when a bright smile lit up his features.

"I like having you nearby, I feel…at home with you." He said with a bashful shrug. Cheshire didn't know what to say as her heart seemed to leap in her chest. She walked over to him with a bright smile opening up the exit allowing them both out. Her smile grew in size when she felt his hand take hold of hers, their fingers threading together.

-0-

They had come a long way over the time they had been on the run. They had come to settle in Buchares and had made a nice little life for themselves. They had a small one room apartment that wasn't the best in the world but they made it their home now. She had decorated it and taken time to make it a nice home for Bucky even when he teased her about it.

Bucky was sitting at the counter in the small kitchen reading over some books they had managed to gather that would help Bucky remember more and finally all of the pieces were coming together. Cheshire finished making the bed in the corner before moving over to the kitchen wrapping her arms around Bucky from behind. Cheshire had let her hair grow out to the middle of her back and was dyed jet black while Bucky kept his hair trimmed to ear length.

Bucky smiled as he reached up covering her hands with his and she settled her chin on his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to her cheek as he went on reading. With the return of his memories came the return of his feeling for Cheshire though it was some time before they acted on them, wanting to make sure that they were in love with each other now the same they were back then.

The simple gold band on Cheshire's left ring finger proved that their love had survived and was flourishing. They led a simple life supported by some jobs they had picked up around town, Cheshire in a restaurant and Bucky in a factory.

"We need groceries." Cheshire commented.

"See you when you get back." Bucky replied with a smile.

"Oh no you don't." Cheshire said taking the book from his hand. "I need some muscle to carry all of the stuff we need."

"That's all I am to you, a pack animal?" Bucky said standing up wrapping his arms around her as he leaned against the counter. Cheshire leaned against him, her lips brushing against his.

"Of course not." Cheshire said pecking him on the lips then pushed off his chest making for the door, purse in hand purposely swaying her hips as she walked, his eyes following her movements. "Now let's get going Jack."

"Cute, real cute." Bucky rolled his eyes as they headed out of the apartment, their arms around each other.

Cheshire and Bucky walked hand in hand through the market, some of their packages in hand. Stopping every once in a while to get something else before moving on his way. It was when they were picking up some plums that Bucky seemed to freeze. He glanced across the street at a man in a newsstand who was staring at them before running off.

They made their way across the street to the stand where Cheshire picked up a newspaper depicting Bucky as the main suspect in a bombing of the United Nations. Cheshire waded up the paper throwing it to the side only to see it was on the news as well.

Bucky took her hand and they made their way back to their apartment knowing that they were being followed. It was time to bug out and disappear again, what they didn't expect was for Steve to be standing in the middle of their apartment looking over Bucky's journal. He paused sensing their presence, setting is aside as he turned to face them.