I looked down, if this feeling could get any worse, this is how it felt. I sighed, I mean, there was two things that I did not understand. One-- why I fighting my self to do what I did not want to do-- and Two-- why I even bothered to think what I wanted to think when I thought I did not want to think it. And the only reason that this fear inside me was holding up, building up, was the reason I was not breathing. And I could see it deeply within the guy's eyes, that he would not kill me. He was holding a gun, and his eyes were rigid, almost wild. But he was not going to kill me.
See, my analogy's are freaky. No guy is holding a gun up to me, and there is no one with wild or rigid eyes near me. The only person here that belonged far, far away was me. The heat burned me up, intensity gaining. I felt like I was trapped in Death Valley. The hottest, cruelest place in America, and conveniently located in California. I thought of how if I just hadn't stepped onto that stage, if I hadn't helped myself to the guilt, where I would be. But it wasn't true. I was meant to be here. I was emant to be in this situation. 'Cause you know, the only way to escape is escape itself. You have to escape, before you escape. And that was exactly what I was going to do.