A Freindly Ghost

Chapter 1:::The Best Everyday Hero Everrrrr.

"Whaddaya think? Red or blue? Which is more American?"

"Red,"

"Aww, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're a bear wrestling Canuck,"

"If you didn't wanna hear my opinion, you shouldn't've asked,"

"But I look so... blegh in red,"

"You're being dramatic, Al, ya' look just fine. Besides, this one matches with your sheild shirt,"

"Wait- do ya mean my S.H.E.I.L.D. shirt, or the shirt with a sheild?"

"What's the difference?!"

"There are moments when I wonder how I even know you Matthew,"

Alfred shakes his head sadly and turns away, walking three somber steps before his attitude whips around so fast that, frankly, Matthew is surprised he doesn't feel a litte gust of wind and Alfred thrusts two sweaters towards Matthew, who only stuffs his hands in his tatty windbreaker.

"I can't help you till you tell me the difference,"

"S.H.E.I.L.D. is the agency in The Avengers, you do remeber that? 'Course ya do, anyway, the other one is Captain America! And so there, they're worlds apart,"

"Techically, Captain America is part of The Avengers, sooo..."

"Shaddup, will ya smarty pants? Now c'mon, choose. I think I'm leanin' towards blue myself, cause then I could wear this with my Spiderman stuff but..."

Matt makes a zipping motion over his lips. Al scowls and takes them both.

"Bastard Canuck,"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, lets get outta here, eh? The clerk's lookin at me funny,"

"Dunno why. You're not stealing or anything," He does go to the cashier, though and Matthew is hit wit with wave of relief because as warm as GAP is, snooty and mean glares he gets from people are not welcome. He knows what he is and what he looks like, but if the staff doesn't like him, then the least they could do would be to just get over it and ask him to leave.

"How do you know that? New York Vagrants have very bad cases of kleptomania when it gets cold out. The temperature goes to their heads,"

"You're always too nice to steal. 'Sides- you've lived on my freakin' fire escape while the window's open and ain't stole a dime,"

"She doesn't know that," Alfred hands his hoodie off to some half brained casheir that has to search the sweater three times over for the tag, visibly cringes and the little clerk smacks her forehead and erases two extra charges while making a pitiable attempt to flirt with his freind. Alfred is too thick to see it amd snatches up his bag and leaves before she can offer her number. Matthew thinks its a waste. Harebrained yeah, but she was pretty cute.

"The first thing I'll do when I become a scientist is invent an intention projector. It'll be so awesome that the President himself'll come to see us. And he'll make that lady apologize," The end of the sentence sorta trails off, because Alfred's trying to run after Matthew, who's already at the automatic doors and stepping into half refrozen slush outside. Alfred searches the crowd, jumping up and down to find a specific head in the crowd. Matt doesn't know why- he should be tall enough to see.

"What're you, five? President won't make anyone apologize to me. You don't have the attention span to be a scientist . An intention projector is highly unlikely,"

"If I held half a glass of water in front of you, I bet you'd be the type to say it's half empty,"

"I'd tell you it doesn't matter,"

"Dispicable. A nihilist,"

"Dont'cha think that's an overexaggeration?"

"Not in the slightest- hey! Whats-your-name! Tony, right? I got somethin' for ya!" His freind waves frantically, leaping even higher, if it's even possible. This Tony person, Matthew remarks, must be awfully hard of hearing because he keeps walking through the crowd on the sidewalk. Alfred grumps about having to run in snow, but pushes his way through the crowd, leaving 'Pardon me, ma'm's and 'Excuse me sir, cute baby!'s and 'Oh, don't loose your mom, sweetie.'s in his wake. Matthew stays in front of the GAP, Alfred'll come back when he's done. Instead watches Al tap on the shoulder of a shorter guy, watches the crowd part around them while they stop. Alfred waves enthusiastically and Matt can almost read the conversation by Al's grandiose gesticulations.

Hey! Remember me? I'm Alfred! Earlier, I asked If I could get you anything but-

The man who Matthew can see now has a large, unkempt beard and generally holey and filthy clothes shakes his head no and keeps walking. Alfred doesn't let it deter him. He runs after the man again, who looks at him like he's mad as a hatter.

I got you this!

Alfred pulls out the two sweaters from the GAP bag, holds them out for him to see.

Somethin' to keep you warm, right? Whaddaya think? Red or blue?

Matthew can't read this Tony person's gesticulations, cause he's not really making any, because he's busy hugging Alfred.

To anybody else, sweater shopping would be the second most boring thing to shop for on the planet, usurped only by Church sock shopping. But because it's Alfred shopping, what should be an absurdly boring chore is immediately transformed into helping the homeless by way of his neato habit of making anything and absolutely everything into an exercise of becoming The Best Everyday Hero Everrrrrr.

Yes, it did need that many R's.