God, why did I fall for him?
Why did I want him so badly, making every part of me miss his existence?
I didn't think it would end like this. Him being unfaithful. I didn't think it would really end.
We had such a complicated relationship, I thought it was just a part of the bumpy road that is Duncan and Courtney.
This wasn't a bump. This wasn't temporary. He was gone.
He wasn't coming back. There was someone else he could love. Someone else who could love him as much as I did.
Someone else. They can wake up next to him every morning; just to find his muscular arms draped over you and all you can hear is the soft tweets of the birds outside the window mixed with the steady breaths he took while asleep.
Someone else can kiss his soft lips that I desired every second of every day. She can trace her finger around the tattoos on his arms and stare into the bright, teal colored eyes that hypnotize you within seconds.
She can be the one. She can complete him. She can finish what I started.
They're happy.
Why can't I be happy? Why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong?
There was so many questions. But no ways to possibly answer them.
How can you love somebody and drop them just like that? How. Just, how.
Maybe the constant nights spent with tears will end someday. Maybe I will find that special someone that I can rely on.
I'm getting so tired. So tired of the lies. So tired of the puffy, red eyes. Tired of the empty stomachs and over thinking.
Somewhere out there is a person that I may love as much as I love him. Should I say loved? No. I still love him.
But I'll get through this. I will see them happy. I'll be happy for them...on the outside.
I hope you treat him right. Treat him better than I did. Don't let him slip out of your fingers like I did.
Love him as much as I do.