A/n This is my first fanfic. Sam and Freddie are dating, but she feels a little paranoid about their relationship. Comments welcome and appreciated.
Nightmares
"Sam, I can't date you anymore. You're just not pretty enough for me. Carly agreed to go out with me, and I'd rather be with her." I tried to hold back my tears, as I ran in the other direction. I couldn't believe Freddie and Carly would do that to me. If Freddie had to break up with me for another girl, why did it have to be my best friend/ his best friend? Now I'm going to have to find two new best friends, and watch from a distance as they fall in love, and my relationship with Freddie becomes a distant memory.
For the rest of high school, I will see every kiss, every hug, and every smile they exchange, as I feel rejected, insecure, betrayed, and unloved. I wish I had never dated him, never kissed him, and most of all never loved him. My heart now aches, now the tears are streaming out, I'm bawling, the one person I've ever loved broke up with me for my best friend. Every time I told him I hated him it was a lie. I feel so guilty that I didn't treat him better. Maybe if I had, he wouldn't have left me for Carly. I wish Carly could have claimed him when he was hers to hold, when I wasn't in love with him, instead of ruining our friendship like this.
I feel like every hug, every kiss, and every "I love you" was a lie. I wish he had never made me fall in love with him while he had a crush on Carly. I just wasted one and a half years of my life loving him, when I could have loved anyone else. Now it's a lie, and my heart is snapped in two. I suffer from the worst heartache ever, wishing I could take everything back, but I can't. What's done is done. I will never love somebody as much as I love him.
I wake up with a start, tears streaming down my face. That had to have been the worst nightmare I've ever had. I want to hold Freddie forever, thinking that he would ever break up with me makes me want to puke up blood, and then punch him, or something. I decide to dress really pretty today in a white flowy top, and shorts. I put on my makeup, thinking that if he ever breaks up with me, I'll still be pretty; I'll just be pretty and single. I walk into the kitchen and make myself some bacon. Mmm. Comfort food. I savor the taste of the bacon trying to shake off the dream. I pack my bag for my boxing class after school. I have finally found a healthy way to express my anger instead of taking it out on my boyfriends face.
I walk into Carly's apartment on my way to school for my second round of bacon. I look for reassurance that Carly will never date Freddie. I feel irrational thinking that she would betray me. Maybe this is just PMS, but I can't shake the feeling of paranoia. Freddie walks into Carly's apartment.
"Wow Sam, you look beautiful this morning." He says as he pulls me into a bear hug. I smile and look into his eyes as I kiss him. I feel reassured that he loves me, and unlike in my dream, I don't regret anything. I feel patches of my heart mend, as I smile at him.
"Thanks Freddie, I really needed to hear that." I say as he smiles back at me. He hugs me again and without breaking the hug he asks me what's wrong. On the verge of tears I tell him about my nightmare. I tell how he broke up with me for Carly, how hurt I felt, how my heart had snapped in two. How I wished I had been a better girlfriend. How I thought everything was a lie. He kisses my cheek passionately, and I get the feeling of the truth.
"I love you Sam. I would never break up with you for Carly or anybody. Every time I tell you I love you, I'm telling you the truth. This has been the best one and a half years of my life, and you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I love you." He says as he kisses me again. Then Carly speaks up. I almost forgot she was in the room.
"Sam, you are my best friend. I am never going to let your boyfriend break up with you to date me, and if he did, I wouldn't date him. We can share clothes and makeup, but never boys. I love you both and you guys are made for each other, and I will always support every decision you make." She pulls the three of us into a group hug, and I instantly feel better.
For the rest of the day I concentrate in school, knowing that I have the greatest best friend in the world, and the best boyfriend ever. When I come home from my boxing class, I feel fulfilled. The nightmare that I will never speak of again was erased from my memory. I feel healthy, mature, and in control of my emotions. I feel grateful that I had that nightmare; all it did was secure what I already knew I had.