Time is a fickle mistress who has us all dancing to the whims of her fancy. Sometimes the melody is jubilant and quick as it embraces you. Other times, it's a mournful waltz that sways you to the misery. Ironically I have a lot of experience with Time. I've danced the endless waltz for too long and the ghosts of the past smile at me everyday from behind their rose colored window panes. How long have I worn this icy mask of perfection? I've become quite the expert of feigning a heartbeat and I've sharpened my words. Strangers who've earned my ire would call me a cold bitch or an ice queen. Friends simply know me as bossy Quisty or more professionally, Quistis Trepe. No one wonders what lies behind the glacial gaze of the snow queen. But that all changed when the man I thought I loved decided to marry the woman he loved.
Imagine if you will; the excitement and celebrity we suddenly found ourselves in. We defeated Ultimecia and saved the world so nobody wanted to let us forget that. It wasn't so bad at first but then the media turned ugly. Our lives fell under the microscope. Stories that weren't even true were printed across the world about us. As much as people wanted to know the good, they also wanted the dirt. So when a few years later the lead hero and his damsel announce their wedding, it's pure pandemonium. To be honest, I guess I saw it coming. I still clung to a shred of hope that Squall would suddenly realize it was me he loved anyway though. I wasn't the type of girl to come between him and Rinoa either. The anguish was by my own hand, a slave to my conscience. Even when I was getting fitted for the bridesmaid dress, I was in denial that their wedding would actually happen.
The day of their wedding was clear and tranquil. They decided to take their vows on the beach in Balamb. We even managed to keep the service there mostly private since we fed a lot of false rumors to different publications. A little part of me died the minute I saw Rinoa garbed in her wedding dress, standing up there with Squall. Her dark hair was caught up in little curls and pinned ornately with tiny, silvery floral clips. Rinoa's dress was simplistic in its design but very elegant on her. It had spaghetti straps and was made of the creamiest silk I'd ever seen. The asymmetrical hem fluttered just below her knees and showed her bare feet resting in the sand. The nails were painted a very warm shade of pink and she wore a single silver anklet. Of course around her neck on a thin silver chain she still wore the rings they exchanged years ago. It was then I saw my defeat and undoing. Squall loved Rinoa deeply and passionately. The nymph managed to pry the armor from the knight because he wanted her to. Now his armor was mine to bear.
My heart was breaking and all I could do was applaud once they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. How could I not be happy for them? Squall has been a childhood friend for a long time and despite my own unrequited affection, he deserved to be happy with Rinoa. I would not brood my loss in front of them on one of the most important days of their lives. I'd laugh and converse with my friends like I'm supposed to. Looking back on it, I wasn't as aware of the events that day as I should have been. I was absorbed by watching my love marry another woman to pay more attention to everything else. Some would say that it was selfish of me to feel that way but I couldn't help it. So when I couldn't keep my tears at bay anymore, it was a bitter cocktail of my pain, shame, and empathy. There were no strangled sobs, just my silence as I drove back to Balamb Garden for their reception. Since the luxurious ballroom is where they met, Rinoa only thought it fitting to have it in the very same place. I steeled myself for the onslaught of chatter and personal questions which accompany being a bridesmaid. Luckily I was seated with Irvine, Selphie, Zell and his date. Once the champagne and other spirited drinks started flowing, the reception became looser. And my salvation of being seated with my friends disappeared as they began to mingle or dance. I did manage to find Laguna and some other pleasant distant friends to chat with but even that wouldn't last forever. Other SeeD members I knew on a vague personal or professional level tried to start idle conversations with me. Some I could tell were being polite while others I figured were just digging for juicy gossip. And the more I got hit on, the more unpleasant I became. People thought it was such a crime for me to be single but they didn't know I was pining for somebody's unrequited idolatry. According to other women I've met, I should be using my beauty and fame to get any man I want. Well darlings, if that were the case I would be the one wearing white today, I thought while swishing the champagne around in my flute. That's not to say I was a spinster when it came to my dating practices. There were a few attempts but they never worked out.
Drinking had the adverse effect and every time I caught a glimpse of the happy couple, my chest tightened and the resolve was starting to falter. I stole away onto the balcony apart from all the other guests when I couldn't take it anymore. The night was yielding and quiet as it bathed the land in shadow. The stars peeked from their cosmic tapestry and gleamed snowy white. The music from inside was nothing but a muffled roar. Instead I listened to the delicate cadence of the wind as it caught up the tendrils of blonde curls that fell against my cheeks. It seemed pleasantly cool yet warmth flooded my veins.
I had drank a bit over my limit and now the cute stiletto shoes Rinoa had chosen for us after the ceremony seemed like death traps. I propped an arm on the balustrade while my fingers absently caressed the surface. The mirth I had worn for everybody fell away and I was finally free to get lost in my thoughts. I was already plotting what I'd do now. I knew I couldn't stay here anymore and was fine with ending my career at SeeD. It was the perfect way to end that chapter of my life.
"You know the party is inside, right?"
I froze at hearing those words. That voice was far too familiar in its supreme arrogance and mocking. I didn't even want to acknowledge him. Of all the people to come outside, it had to be him.