I do not own the Biker Mice from Mars and I will make no profit from writing this story. To be honest it wasn't even my idea. Nikita brought the song and potential situation up on the message board I just ran with it. I am sure others will have their ways of using this wonderful song in a fic but this is my interpretation. The song was by Ms. Shaina Twain with just a slight variation on the lyric and I don't own it either.

That Don't Impress Me

By Morning & Nikata


Charley sat watching each one, each totally self-absorbed. Throttle was studying some tactical information, everything they had on Limburgers operations to date. He absent-mindedly ran his hand through his hair. At first he was oblivious to everything and every one around him. But feeling her stare at him he looked up, gave her a sly handsome smile, quick wink of the eye, and went back to what his was doing.

Charlie's attention then turned to Vinnie, who had started out cleaning his bike, but in the interim, caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He turned his head and studied his profile smiling with such satisfaction at, what he must have thought was, the most flawless face in all creation. Catching Charley watching him and not embarrassed in the least, he smiled all the more and blew her a kiss then went back to the mirror.

Lastly she watched Modo. He was rubbing some scratches out of the chrome on his little Darlin'. She was amazed at how lovingly he attended to the bike. Each stroke was a pure labor of love. Modo saw she was watching him, he simply nodded and continued.

Charley smiled to her self and stood up. All of a sudden music came blaring out of nowhere. The mice jumped. Throttle grabbed his blaster out of its holster. Modo released his arm weapon pointing it at everything and nothing. Vinnie fell on the floor pulling his blaster from behind him.

Charley swayed rhythmically with the beat, the music not surprising her at all. Like mysterious music coming from nowhere happened every day. All of sudden in a flash of brilliant orange and red light her clothes change from her normal tomboy blues to leather pants, high heel boots and silk blouse all black.

A shocked "WHOA !!!!!" was heard from the now overwhelmed Biker Mice.

She tossed her hair back and sashayed up to Throttle, sitting on the table were he was working, swiping everything on it to the floor. With his eyes practically popping out of his head he watched her as she pointed a finger in his chest and then she started,

I've known a few mice who thought they were pretty smart.

But got being right down to an art.

Ya think yer a genius, ya drive me up the wall.

Yer a regular original know-it-all.

Oh, oh, ya think yer special.

Oh, oh, ya think yer something else.

Okay, so you're smart as rock scientist!

That don't impress me much.

So ya got the brains, but have ya got the touch?

Now don't get me wrong, yeah, I think yer all right.

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.

That don't impress me much.



She twirled the front of his hair around her finger. Then causally released it slipping off the table and sauntered over to Vinnie, who was still sitting on the floor with his mouth hanging open. As she advanced toward him, he crawled backwards until he hit a wall, not able to go any further he only looked at her and swallowed hard. She kneeled down grabbing him by the bandanna around his neck, pulling his face close to hers,

I never knew a mouse who kept a comb in his pocket,

And one his on his bike, just in case.

And all that extra gel on your fur oughta lock it.

'Cause, heaven forbid, it should fall outta place.

Oh, oh, ya think ya special.

Oh, oh, ya think ya something else.

Okay, so you're cute as Brad Pitt!

That don't impress me much.

So ya got the looks, but have yer got the touch?

Now don't get me wrong, yeah, I think yer all right.

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night.

That don't impress me much.


She let Vinnie go, but not before running a finger down his face and kissing the air very close to his mouth. He took a shuttered breath as she stood and sauntered toward Modo. The shocked gray Martian quickly retreated behind his bike, trying to escape and Charley smiled seeing he had trapped himself behind the bike. She ran her hand along the length of the machine and up the large purple armor that covered his massive chest.

You're one of these mice who likes to shine his machine.

Baby; take off my shoes before yer let me get on.

I can't believe you kiss yer bike goodnight.

Now come on, baby, tell me; you must be joking, right?

Oh, oh, ya think yer special.

Oh, oh, ya think yer something else.

Okay, so ya gotta smart bike!

That don't impress me much.

So ya got the moves, but have ya got the touch?

Now don't get me wrong, yeah, I think yer all right.

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night


She wrinkled her nose at him and walked away from all three. She turned her head to give them each a coquettish backward glance as the music still played.

That don't impress me much.

You three think ya cool, but have ya got the touch?

Now, now don't get me wrong, yeah, I think yer all right.

But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold, lonely night.

That don't impress me much.


She walked off with the music still playing; the mice still stunned by her sudden explosion into sight and sound. Charley flipped her head back and gave them a cute mischievous pout,

Okay, so whatta think, you're Elvis or somethin'?

                                                                                What Ever!

That don't impress me much!


Winking she threw her leg over her bike, starting it up, then popping the prefect wheelie, screeching out and leaving them standing there. As she rode the music faded off into the distance, leaving with her.

For a few minutes the three "Macho" Biker Mice stood looking at the door, then at each other, actually almost afraid to move.

"W-W-What was that all about?" Throttle said as he still held on to the chair, attempting to catch his breath.

"Maybe it's one of those m-m-monthly women things." Modo said, rubbing his chin not sure if it was safe to leave from behind his bike,

"I just wanna know where the music came from?" Vinnie said still sitting on the floor.

The End