Oedipus complex. That's what Al called it. That uncomfortable boiling resentment Ed felt for his absent father and the obsession to bring his mother back. Ed grunted and waved his little brother aside.

"That's ridiculous, Al," Ed grunted. "If that were true, you have that Oedipus complex too. You wanted to bring mom back, just like I did."

Al had a ready answer. "True, true," the armoured boy said, stroking his helmet-chin like a psychologist would. "Unlike you though, I do not resent my father."

Ed threw a book at Al, and stomped across the room. "What the hell does this thing have to do with my…problem…?"

The younger brother chuckled. "You mean your 'inexplicable' little crush on Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Yah-huh!" Ed raised his eyebrows and gave Al a look that said "Duh! That's why I asked you in the first place, but you had to beat around the bush with your psychological analysis and – "

"Okay, Ed, your look says waaay too much," Al said. Ed threw his arms in the air and plopped on the couch in frustration.

"Do something, Al. Say something gross about her. Anything to make me stop…blushing when she's around."

"I won't say anything gross about her. She's awesome to me," Al said. Ed frowned. Not helping, Al, he said in his mind.

Al sighed. "Well, that's why I'm sharing info about this complex to you. I believe that your feelings toward the lieutenant stem from the Oedipus complex. Therefore, Hawkeye may be your substitute – "

"For mom?" Ed's voice squeaked. "Eewww that's gross. You're saying I have incestuous feelings towards mom and that I want to kill dad. That's screwed up, Al!"

Al leaned sat on the couch next to Ed. "Come on, brother. It's us. Of course we're screwed up. Look at our…uh…situation with losing our parents and bodies at a young age."

Ed laughed. "Hell, you're right. Wanna be a shrink once we're back to normal?"

Al paused. "Probably. And you will be my first (and lifetime) patient."

The Fullmetal Alchemist punched him on the shoulder with his automail fist. "What do you mean lifetime patient?"

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was not surprised to find a moody looking Colonel in their office that day. Paperwork did that to a man like him. What Riza was astonished to see was a bouquet of handpicked flowers, still wet from the early morning dew, sitting on her desk. The men were grinning at her as she picked it up.

"Got a secret admirer, First Lieutenant?" Havoc teased. "If it were me, I'd buy roses."

"Aw, I think handpicked is sweeter," Fuery piped. "It says, 'I'm down-to-earth and old-fashioned." Riza and the men looked at the young master sergeant for what seemed like a full minute.

After the long pause, Breda said "I think it says 'I'm gay'". Roy and Jean led the laughter. Even Falman chuckled a bit.

"Stop it." The laughter died down after that. "I believe you, Fuery," Riza smiled. "It does seem sweeter and more humble."

"Oh! Oh! I get it!" Havoc stood up, hand in the air like an eager student. "Fuery put those weeds on Lieutenant Hawkeye's desk! Fuery likes her!"

"They're not weeds." Riza snapped. To Fuery, "Did you?"

Fuery turned red as a tomato. "NO! No, absolutely not! Not that I don't think you're not lovely, Lieutenant – I mean, you really are, but that doesn't mean that that –"

Roy cleared his throat to silence him. His first words of the day were "So who's it from, Lieutenant?" His voice lacked playfulness. It was actually very dry.

"There's no card." Riza hoped there would be one. How intriguing, she thought.

Roy shrugged and reluctantly continued his paperwork. Riza felt he was bothered by something. "Jealous much?"

Roy continued writing without glancing at her. "Send the brothers in."

Fuery immediately knew it was his duty as he was the group's unofficial whipping boy. After a few minutes, the Elrics were in their usual sitting places in the office.

Ed stared at Riza for a moment before glaring at Mustang. "So?"

"So blah blah, Fullmetal," Roy smirked. "You know what I'm about to ask."

"No we did not make much progress towards our goal," Ed replied lazily.

"But we're getting there," Al added. The boy noticed the flowers on Riza's desk. "Um, wow, Lieutenant…"

"Don't start with me." Riza said. "If it's not from you, just don't say anything."

From the corner of his eye, Al was watching Ed's feigned indifference.

"Lieutenant, why are you being so private about this?" Roy asked with slight irritation in his voice. "It's just flowers from someone obviously too scared to leave a card."

Al noticed a vein appear at near Edward's forehead. "Um, if you have no further questions, Sir, maybe we should go…"

"Fine, fine," Roy hissed while keeping his eyes locked on his lieutenant. Riza snapped back, "I think 'shy' is the term you're looking for, Sir. I don't recall leaving gifts cowardice."

Al steered Ed outside before it would be too late to get away. "Brother!" he shook Ed's shoulders once they were out of their superior's earshot. "Look what you started! I thought we talked about this."

Ed wiggled out of his grasp and started drawing circles in the ground with his shoe. "I don't think it's really a problem anymore…I mean, it's just a temporary infatuation. Adolescent stuff that will go away."

"And giving in to your infatuation will make it go away?" Al asked, incredulous.

Ed crossed his arms and frowned. "Aw, gimme a break. She's like what – twelve years older than me! That feelings won't last!"

Al sighed. "So the crush will just go away when she's not gorgeous anymore?"

"Aha!" Ed pointed at Al in triumph. "You said 'gorgeous'! You have a crush on her!"

The armoured boy laughed. "Brother, I call them like I see them. She's obviously attractive. It doesn't mean I like her that way you do."

Ed kept silent for quite some time while he paced back and forth. An imaginary light bulb appeared over his head. After which, he grinned at Al. "Indulgence," Ed said. "Indulgence will not make desire go away. In fact, it is like throwing ashes upon flame. The desire will grow stronger."

"Yeah, that's basically what I said before," Al tapped his foot impatiently.

"Yet, if I suppress the feelings, they will bottle up…and eventually…boom," Ed continued. "What this dilemma needs is an outside factor to push me away. That outside factor is the object of desire herself. Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Come again?" Al asked. "You want her to dump you?"

Ed frowned and tilted his head to the side. "No, I want her to like me back. But if she doesn't reciprocate my feelings, then I need to accept that. And then the feelings will go away."

Al clapped. "That's very mature of you, brother. To risk losing your head to a sniper's bullets, just like that!"

"Don't do that, Al," Ed growled. "Or I'll think of an even crazier plan."

"Nah, this will probably work," Al said. "Just don't come crying to me when Mommy Riza dumps you. Oh…there's just one more thing though…"

Ed asked what it was. Al replied, "I think Colonel Mustang likes her too."

The Fullmetal Alchemist grinned. "This complex just got more interesting. Eliminate 'daddy' to get to 'mommy'".