You lied, Fate-chan.
You said we would always be together, didn't you? You said that- no, you promised that we'd be together no matter what.
The first night, you took my hands in yours, and those tortured burgundy eyes bore into mine, a promise, a silent vow, that you would take care of me no matter that.
Soft golden locks fell over those intense eyes, and I brushed them away lovingly, tenderly.
"We will always be together, Nanoha. Nothing can separate us."
A silent vow that you would take care of me forever, that you would do anything to make me happy, and that you would never, ever, hurt me.
"Nothing?"
A silent vow that you would never, ever, leave me.
"We will always be together. I promise."
You held me closer then, as though you knew, beforehand, what was to come. A foreshadow, a premonition. I still remember, Fate-chan, how having your slender frame around me made me feel so safe, so… protected.
"I promise."
xxx
Of Lies and Truths
- Enraptured
xxx
It wasn't supposed to happen this way.
A surprise attack, hordes upon hordes of enemy mages.
A seemingly endless swarm of opponents, an endless onslaught of spells.
We were unprepared, but we were Aces. The Aces. We were always prepared. We had to be.
Metallic sounds of cartridge shells hitting the floor, harsh ringing of metal against metal, blast after blast from overworked devices.
The night was dark, the winds were howling. The sky was overcast, roaring thunder and screaming lightning.
It was cold.
We were doing well. Despite being caught off guard, we were holding up fine. Despite wave after wave of incoming adversaries, we maintained our defense.
There was no reason for us to fall. The three Aces, the legendary mages of the TSAB.
"Divine…"
Perhaps it was that mentality that caused me to get sloppy – I knew victory was secured.
"…Buster!"
There was no need to worry; you were there, by my side.
Everything would be fine.
…
"Nanoha!"
They always said that fate was cruel.
"Nanoha!"
I had never heard you sound so scared, Fate-chan.
Terrified.
A single blast, aimed to kill. Not to injure, or to incapacitate.
"NANOHA!"
But to murder, to slaughter, to kill.
It was Death in form speeding towards me.
How ironic that even at that most critical moment, my military-trained mind could still access the situation well enough to tell me that I had no chance. They had planned this from the start.
A blast of magical energy unlike anything I had ever experienced. So concentrated, so powerful that I could feel its approach. I could practically taste it; it made my tongue and skin tingle with its power.
A blast specially designed to crush all barriers for a swift and inevitable death.
Raging Heart Excellion dangled uselessly at my side.
They had planned my demise, planned the fall of the Aces.
I was meant to take that shot.
Faces turned, mirroring looks of disbelief and horror.
Nothing human could save me then.
But then again, they had always said your speed was inhuman.
A crushing impact - I waited for the death blow that never came.
Instead, I felt your familiar arms wrap around me, too hard, too rough for my liking, but they were still your arms, and that was enough. Those gentle hands wrenched my head forcefully against your chest, tucking it under your chin protectively, possessively, even. Long legs entwined themselves with mine. You were there, and suddenly everything just felt so damn right.
If only for a while.
There was a slamming impact, and a rush of power. I felt it, even through your barrier and that protective embrace. I can only imagine the excruciating pain you had to endure, having that much energy crashing down on your shield at once.
Your fingers tightened painfully hard around me, grabbing fistfuls of my jacket.
Trembling.
You were trembling, Fate-chan.
The yellow barrier you had conjured was shimmering dangerously, pulsating wildly.
Why were you trembling?
The first crack had started to appear on your shield. Defense was never your forte, was it? You were more suited for speed and raw power. You never really did have to rely on defense; your lightning speed didn't require you to. The only times you needed to summon a shield was when you needed to protect someone else.
Like now.
Just like now.
Fine, insignificant lines spread outwards across your shield stealthily and steadily, a spider's web of fragile weaknesses. Ominous cracking sounds seemed so unnaturally loud in the dead silence of the night.
We had both already known that it was a blast meant to smash all barriers.
You cried out then, a choked, pained gasp as the remains of your barrier shattered and fell apart in a burst of yellow light.
You would have still been able to flee. You could have used your sonic move to dash away in that split second, to escape death.
Stupid Fate-chan, you could have ran.
Yet, you clung steadfastly to me, angry determination burning in those eyes.
Stupid, stupid Fate-chan.
You were always so stubborn.
Hungry magic crashed upon us, and again you forced me into your selfish arms. Making sure every part of me was covered. You took the entire brunt of the attack, using your own body as a final, physical barrier, for me.
A choked scream tore itself from your throat.
A piercing, earsplitting shriek of someone being tortured. Your white cape was completely incinerated in the blast, leaving no traces of its existence. The black trench too, was rapidly being devoured.
In your carelessness, you exposed a part of my arm to the attack.
Pain.
White hot, searing, pain that drove all coherent thought from my mind. A thousand burning needles driving themselves into my flesh, a hundred times over.
It hurts, Fate-chan, make it stop.
You threw your head back in agony, with a scream that will remain burned- forever, in my memory. I tried so desperately to fight your protective embrace then, craning my head to see something, anything, but you tightened your hold on me, a deathly painful grip.
There were crystal tears trickling down those perfect cheeks, before those too, were blown away by the sheer power.
And then silence.
Blissful, welcome, silence.
Everything seemed awfully quiet, without the rush of magic roaring past my ears. My arm throbbed and screamed painful agony, but I ignored it.
It was all over, but why did everything seem so…
Wrong?
Your eyelids fluttered open then, and there was a soft, gentle smile on your face once more. A weak one, but it was still there. A wavering hand reached up to cup my face.
There was blood, so much blood, on that pale hand.
Why was there blood?! There shouldn't be blood.
I think you had tried to speak, to say something, but the pain was too great. You could only wince as I shifted against you to cover your hand with mine, holding it to my cheek.
It's all right now, I wanted to say. To reassure you that everything was fine, and that we had it all under control. It's alright, I'm here. You're here. It's over now.
But I didn't.
I couldn't.
The words wouldn't come, they wouldn't - fucking - come!!
Because, deep down, I knew that something was wrong. Something screamed that nothing was alright.
Nothing would ever be alright again.
I couldn't comprehend anything then, I could only stare, in numb disbelief, as you slumped forward, defeated. Your hold on me loosened, that bloody hand slid down my cheek, and I latched onto you instinctively, desperately.
"Fate…chan…?"
"G-Gomen ne, N..Nano..ha…"
What were you apologizing for?! There was no need to apologize, there was nothing wrong!
"Fate-chan?
Stop apologizing and get back up, Fate-chan. There was nothing wrong.
There couldn't be anything wrong.
There couldn't.
Those beautifully haunted burgundy eyes slid shut.
That was the last time I ever heard your perfect voice.
There was a contented smile on your face, your final smile for me. It was as though you had died the way you wished to, as though it was your honor to die in place of me.
No.
Bardiche slipped from your slackened grasp then, falling some hundred meters downward and hitting the otherwise silent battlefield with a metallic note of finality. I suppose you would have, too, if I weren't holding you up.
"Fate-chan!?"
I didn't dare to look. I felt a warm wetness soak the front of my barrier jacket and trickle down my legs. A slow, taunting stream that burned my skin with every passing second.
No!
"Fate-chan!"
There was rapidly spreading red, a sharp contrast to the snow white of my Barrier Jacket. An even starker contrast against your alabaster skin.
"Fate-chan!"
Disbelief. Mind-numbing, cruel, shock draining every conscious thought.
"FATE-CHAN!!"
No reply.
Reply, damn it, reply!
Open your eyes, tell me it was all some cruel twisted joke, tell me something, anything.
You promised.
Dark, angry red staining pure, innocent white.
You promised!
Dark, furious red obscuring my vision.
Fate-chan, you promised!
Dark, uncontrollable red clouding every coherent thought, shrouding every conscious part of my mind.
I couldn't see.
"Raging Heart." A quiet, deadly whisper. Trembling fingers clenched, hard, around the cold metal staff of my weapon. Knuckles turned white with the sheer force of my grip. I lifted a shaking arm, pointing my device with finality.
I couldn't breathe.
"Starlight…"
The familiar rush of magic flooded my entire being. There was no holding back, or rather, no attempt to. I let lose everything I had into that single attack. I would target the people who killed my Fate-chan. I would target them, I would hurt them. I would kill them. A thousand times over. I will tear their bodies apart with my magic. I will kill them, Fate-chan.
I will kill them, for you.
I will rip apart the souls of those who have dared to even think about hurting you.
The pink magic rings beneath my feet burned with an intensity that would have surprised even myself, but I was incapable of any emotion anymore. Their usual soft pink is brighter now, yet darker, a livid blood red. There were people screaming my name, but I couldn't hear them. Was that Hayate? Or Vita? It didn't matter.
They would all die. I would kill anyone who got in my way.
I couldn't breathe.
"…Breaker."
I didn't remember anything after that.
xxx
I lied, Fate-chan.
I still remember vividly. Every single thing, every little detail.
I lied when I said I didn't remember anything.
I just didn't want to remember anything.
I wanted to forget what I did; I needed to forget what you did.
The White Devil awoke that night.
It was classified as a massacre. Hundreds of mages, blasted apart.
I cannot remember the number of Starlight Breakers I unleashed on the battlefield, and frankly, I do not care. The TSAB had never seen such large-scale destruction, such unmitigated disaster. How ironic that it was caused by one of their top mages.
I do not remember the amount of magic I exhausted, or the length of time I was out there, taking the lives of others as easily as they had taken the life of yours.
I do not know if I attacked my enemies, or my friends.
I do not care.
All I know, all Icare, all that matters, is that my Fate-chan is gone.
Gone.
Gone.
It is a night like that night, a night perfect for death.
The sharp triangular edges of Bardiche dig painfully hard into my palm, but I ignore the sting.
Nothing can compare to the dull pain that's crushing my very heart.
Gone.
Fingers clench harder around the cold metal that was once your treasured weapon.
Gonegonegonegonegonegone.
You lied, Fate-chan.
You didn't take care of me forever. You hurt me.
You lied when you said we would always be together.
Cool metal pierce warm flesh, and blood drips down my hands, splattering red against the ground.
I bet you didn't know that the edges of Bardiche, even when inactive, were sharp enough to slice through skin, didn't you?
It seems fitting that I die by the hands of your weapon. It is only right, since you indirectly died by mine.
They had planned the fall of the Aces, but they hadn't counted on the rise of the Devil.
And the Devil would take one last life tonight.
I hope you don't mind me using Bardiche as a makeshift blade.
A plunge into the soft, yielding flesh that is my neck.
We will always be together, Fate-chan.
We promised.
END D:
A/N: Okay, this is far from my usual (semi) happy stories, and I'm sorry about that. I was in the mood for angst after reading Generation-A's angst fic, go check her out, she's awesome.
How was it? I've never written angst. Depressing? Bad? Disturbing?
Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm taking a break from writing to concentrate on school (zzz), I'll be back though, you can't get rid of me thaaat easily. xD I was supposed to update UoT, but it's a long chapter. If I do update it though, it'll be by this weekend, if not, it'll be after my hiatus D:
Reviews would be awesome :D :D
(Big thanks to Senile Seline for making me post this - I thought it sucked to hard to be on ffnet initially ;;)