Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man (I wish~!)
This is a song fic series. All of the songs will be by Secondhand Serenade. The title of the chapter will be the title of the song. Enjoy~! :3
I stared at my moonlit love in wonder. He always somehow managed to take my breath away. But something wasn't right tonight as we sat alone, on the balcony, watching the stars dance above us. It was like we were out of sync.
In the moonlight, your face, if glows
Like a thousand diamonds, I suppose
And your hair flows like the ocean breeze
And I truly loved him. There was no was that that would ever change. But there was something in the back of my mind that was telling me something different. It was telling me that we were broken.
Not a million fights could make me hate you
You're invincible, yeah it's true
It's in your eyes where I find peace
"Kanda . . . " I whispered my lover's name quietly. He started slightly, surprised that I had broken the silence that hung over us like a veil.
"Yes?" he whispered back, just as silently.
"Does something seem . . . off to you?" I asked quietly, gazing into his eyes.
"Nothing is wrong, Lavi," he reassured me while leaning in to brush his lips against mine in a quick and gentle kiss. But my body jerked away from my lover suddenly. I gasped quietly, still shocked that he had kissed me.
"Kanda . . . don't . . ." I managed to get out before he captured my lips again, though I pulled away a second later.
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let's light up the town, scream out loud
He stared at me in confusion. "Lavi . . . ?" His voice was colored with hurt.
"I'm sorry, Kanda," I said quietly. I grasped his hand, though the action seemed foreign to me. "I don't know why I did that. Everything about us just seems . . . off tonight." I hung my head apologetically. I thought to myself in the back of my mind, 'Do I not love him anymore? What's wrong with me!?'
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I looked into my lover's cerulean eyes. "Kanda . . ." I whispered, " . . . I think that we are . . . broken . . ."
He looked at me in shock. "Broken?" he repeated, "What do you mean, Lavi? Are you trying to say that you don't love me anymore?" His voice broke on the last words, as he was about to cry.
I can see in your eyes
You're ready to break
Don't look away
"I don't know what's wrong, but I do know one thing," I stood up and dropped Kanda's hand.
"What's that?" Kanda said quietly, trying hard not to cry, though a small tear escaped out of the corner of his eye and hung there.
"I know that we can't be together anymore," I whispered while silently slipping away from my lover.
"Wait . . ." Kanda said quickly, trying to get me to stay.
"Kanda . . . goodbye . . ." I whispered as I walked away.
And that was it. I thought that I wouldn't have to see Kanda anymore than a few days for a short mission. But Karma was working against me. I had to go on an extended mission to Australia with him the day after I said that we were broken.
"Isn't the sea beautiful, Kanda?" I gently asked my companion quietly.
"Sure . . ." he replied briskly, not looking at me or at the sea that was the same color as his eyes.
"And just look at that sunset! Isn't it wonderful?" I glanced at my stony friend who merely grunted in return.
So here we are now
In a place where
The sun blends in
With the ocean thin
I nodded calmly, accepting the silent treatment that my ex-lover was giving me. I realized that I was probably the last person he would want to talk to right now. But I still tried to be friendly and civil as we stood across from each other on the beach. I wondered how we would spend out days as friend if he was always ignoring me.
So thin stand
Across from each other
Together we'll wonder
If we will last these days
"Kanda . . . ?" I called my friend's name softly, for he had started walking towards the hotel we were staying at for the time being.
"Yes?" he replied calmly, his face a blank slate.
"I was just wondering . . . would you stay with me . . . as my friend?" I asked softly, hoping he would say yes to my request.
If I asked you to stay
Would you tell me
That you would be mine?
He looked at me stonily, all his inner emotions hidden behind a mask of calm. He glared at me and then turned away before uttering a single word that shattered my heart.
"No"
I think that we are broken
We walked back to the hotel in silence. 'Why did he say no? I thought that he wanted to be my friend! Does he really hate me that much?' I thought to myself in silence as we entered out shared bedroom and got into our respective beds. 'I guess we both just need some time . . .'
And time
Is all I ask for
Time
I just need one more day
As I lay in my bed in silence, I heard the quiet sounds of crying coming from Kanda's bed. 'I wonder what's wrong . . .' I thought while I got out of bed and made my was over to Kanda's bed. I then knelt beside his bed and whispered his name. "Kanda . . .? What's wrong?"
"Nothing . . . now go away," he replied huskily, his voice thick from crying.
And time
You've been crying too long
Time
And your tears wrote this song
Stay
But as I stood up and turned to leave, I felt a hand grab my wrist. I turned around to see Kanda, his face shining with tears, looking up at me. He spoke one word to me.
"Stay"
I looked at the moonlight glowing and shimmering on his tear-stained face. I smiled gently.
In the moonlight
Your face, it glows
I pulled my wrist out of his grasp slowly. "No, Kanda," I said simply. I truly wanted to stay with him, though. My arms screamed to hold him and my heart ached to love him. But my head and reason reminded me of one thing. We were broken.
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let's light up the town, scream out loud
I looked into Kanda's tear filled eyes. I had to say what needed to be said so he could move on and forget me. "Kanda . . . I don't love you anymore . . ." I saw what havoc my words did to him. His mask held and I didn't see any emotion from him, but I saw his eyes break and show all of his pain.
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I can see in your eyes
You're ready to break
Don't look away
I silently slipped away from him and got into my own bed. And as I drifted off to sleep, I could hear the quiet sound of crying coming from my broken love.
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