When the Sky Brings Dawn: Episode Epsilon
A Story in Three Marvelous Acts
ACT I
Bokkun gripped the shears tightly and ran towards the sheep. He sheared it with the utmost integrity, splitting the inglorious misnomers in twain by his sheer will.
Eggman approached and put a single egg down.
"Is it Easter?" Bokkun asked Eggman with a rasp of manliness.
Eggman threw back his luscious golden mane and stared up to the heavens. "Nay…" he replied with abhorrence. He shed tears that landed upon the ground and caused terrible erosion. The granite layers frayed.
Shadow used Chaos Control and teleported into the sheep room. He wielded his Diamond Pickaxe and tore the windows open. The glass particles landed onto the ground and cried for justice.
"Why is your doing?" asked Bokkun with the macho madness of eleven thousand rings.
"I did it for Maria…" said Shadow shadily.
"You liar!" roared Eggman and he impaled a sandwich with a pencil, the meat clung to the lead like the love of guiding hearts everywhere.
"I ain't a deceiving wretch," said Shadow and he took two buckets of lava and prepared to create his portal to the Nether.
"Shall we join forces?" asked Bokkun, his chiseled complexion shining in the radiance of the twin suns.
ACT II
"I am Luke Skywalker," said the young Jedi. He stepped forth and handed his blaster to the twin-tailed evildoer of the lands of plenty.
"Excellent, your training is now complete," said Tails. He flew and then dropped a bottled water into the ocean, polluting the once-pure fathoms of blue majesty.
"What a crime," said Luke, but he knew he had to comply with the wicked one's demands else the death of his friends and family would be at hand.
"I can see your soul," said Tails. "Do not beckon for courage. You are in deep despair, Skywalker…"
"My life…" Luke wailed as he collapsed to his knees and fed on the bread crumbs lurking about Tails's shoeless toes.
Just then, Bokkun and Shadow arrived via the Nether Portal.
"What a pleasant surprise, homie," said Tails as he drew his lightsaber.
"Do not sow our lands with tranny, vile wizard!" announced Bokkun with a booming charismatic voice. He took out his plasma rays and zapped Tails's lightsaber to smithereens.
"Hence, my vehement reign is brought to ashes…" Tails wept as he dropped down and worshiped Bokkun and Shadow's groovy presence.
"What should we do with him?" asked Luke with thankful eyes.
"I believe he deserves a dungeon of righteousness," Shadow replied as he tore open a hole in the space-time continuum using his Diamond Pickaxe. He tossed Tails into the dimensional rift and he was consumed by the darkness.
"What makes it a grand day?" asked Luke. He chuckled and placed a loving hand on each of his saviours' shoulders. "It would be friendship and a glad tiding."
Bokkun and Shadow nodded and hopped onto their motorcycles, speeding off into the sunset with the wind in their face and Boston playing "More Than a Feeling" in the background.
ACT III
"My ear," said Bokkun. He exuded blueberry yogurt from his auditory ducts. "My scanners have been jammed, my wholesome broseph."
Shadow cried as he saw Bokkun have a condition. He took his Pickaxe and cast it into the Nile. The Nile was ablaze, thus the Pickaxe melted into infinity and beyond.
"Why would you do that, humble creature?" asked Bokkun with a hoarse tone.
"Because I love my seven toes," said Shadow as he removed his shoe, sock, and nose, revealing his prized selection.
"One… Two..." counted Bokkun, but then he gave up due to oatmeal. "I concede to the wondrous forthcomings…"
"Yes, a good day it has become," said Shadow as he put his happy face back in its correct position.
"Cool!" said Sonic as he approached on his skateboard. "I am so totally an ollie professional!" Sonic did a trick, fell, failed, failed at life, died, was buried, brought back with the Chaos Emeralds and a kiss, and restored to the peace and tranquility of the universe.
That was until the land sharks attacked.
"How uncool…" muttered Shadow as he dug into his back pocket, removed a Hershey's chocolate bar, and ate it like a totally deranged opossum.
"Good thing we still have our pickle," said Bokkun as he took out his cell phone and summoned a giant pickle to the field.
"What shall we name the pickle, guys?" asked Sonic as he grew a fifth head.
"Rick," said Shadow and then he created a stellar device that could make pancake guardians.
"Nay," said Bokkun. He slammed his pirate hat onto his head and grew a beard and eyepatch. Bokkun was now the Ultimate Scalawag.
"What a delight," said Sonic. He then sold his soul to Paramount.
"Brilliance comes in all shapes and sizes," said Shadow. "I know I am the coolest entity, but Bokie here is the highest tier of fancy schmancy don't-call-me-Nancy!"
FIN