Disclaimer: Nothing about Naruto belongs to me, but you guys already knew that :) Hope you enjoy.

"What are you doing today?" I asked blonde on the bed.

"Nothing."

I smiled, "Great, then we can go buy some food. I'm starving."

"No."

"Oh, come on, Deidara. You never wanna do anything." I threw a paper ball at his face but he didn't even react. "Ugh, never mind. I'll just go find Hidan, I'm sure he has something he wants to do."

When I was halfway to the exit I looked back at Deidara, "See you around then." But he didn't say anything as he turned his back on me.

"I don't understand," I say, kissing Hidan's bare chest. "He's always so distant with me."

"Eh, don't worry about it."

I smiled softly at the man, this was our usual routine. We would get together and when it's over, I talk about random little things. "I have an idea of what we can do."

His purple eyes lit up, "Oh, really."

I nodded, letting out a soft moan when he pressed his body onto mine again.

"There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere."

Deidara turned and looked at me, then he went back to his work. "What do you want?"

"Someone's in a bad mood. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go with me."

"Go where?"

I stood behind him, but stepped back when I noticed how tense his shoulders where. "Everyone else is gone, so I thought maybe we could hang out. Maybe go find ourselves a date."

"I'm busy." He said, pausing his movements for a second. "And what about Hidan?"

"What about him? We're not dating, you know."

"I have things to do."

"Fine, I guess I'll just go on my own."

For two hours I walked around the small village, until I came across a bar that was not too far from the hideout. It didn't take long for me to get drunk, but even then I found no interest in any of the men there.

"How did you know I was going to be here?" I asked, looking at the familiar blonde.

"I had a feeling." He looked at the two empty bottles by my side. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Well, I'm still conscious, so obviously not enough."

He pulled the bottle from my hand, "That's enough."

I didn't even protest, "I don't wanna go back yet." His eyes remained glued on my hand, which was developing a bruise from where I had bumped into the table.

"Come here." His strong arms helped me up, "Let's go get some fresh air."

Once we were outside he asked me a question I wasn't expecting, "Why Hidan?"

"Honestly, I don't know." I sighed, "I guess it's nice having someone who can take it all away for moment."

He set me down in a bench near the small lake, "Take what away?"

That's all it took for me to spill all of my life story.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, flinching at the sunlight hitting my face.

"The villagers are building some new crap."

I smiled, too tired to move anything but my head. When my eyes landed on Deidara I sighed, "I talked too much last night, didn't I?"

He stood from his chair, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Well, you never seemed interested in what I had to say."

He pushed some of my hair from my face, "That's not true."

Then I remembered why I had been drinking the night before, "You know, yesterday was my birthday."

His hand froze, "It was?"

I nodded, and regretted it as soon as my head started hurting, "Yeah. I didn't want to be alone, so I figured a couple of drinks could keep me company."

A long silence took over, "I guess I'll be going now."

I got up the bed and walked to the door, but I was stopped when Deidara grabbed my arm, pulling me to him. "I know what you're about to do. I don't want you to go back to him."

My eyes widened, "Deidara, you don't know what you're saying."

"Yes I do. I want you to stay here. With me."

I looked up at him, his eyes held an emotion that was foreign to me, but nonetheless, it was pleasant. Despite knowing how broken and damaged I really was, he still wanted to be with me. "I don't think this is a good idea."

His hand cupped my cheek as he leaned in for a short kiss, "Tell me you didn't feel that. Tell me you don't want more."

I closed my eyes as I pulled him in for another kiss. Just this one time I would put behind my past and I would let myself feel what I had tried so hard to avoid. I would let myslef love.