Portals!

Part 1 of the Universe Jumper Series!

Good morning! You have been in suspension for fifty days. In complaince with state and federal regulations, all testing canadaties in the Aperture Science Extended Relaxation Center must be revived perodically for a mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise.

I groaned, standing up slowly and stretching. I had been asleep for fifty days? No wonder I was so stiff. I would've been totally okay with staying asleep but noooooo. -Dude had to wake me up because LAWS!

I glanced across the room to see my relaxation buddy get out of bed as well. Apparently, Aperture ran out of room for more relaxation centers so some of us had to bunk with others. The one I was with never spoke, but I know her name is Chell.

You will here a buzzer, the announcer continued. When you hear the buzzer,look up at the ceiling. A loud buzzer blared and Chell and I complied. Good. said the Announcer man. You will hear a buzzer, when you hear the buzzer, look down at the floor.

Once again, that stupid buzzer went off and Chell and I did as we were told. Chell looked as bored as I was. Good. This completes the gymnastic portion of your mandatory physical and mental wellness exercise. I snorted at that. Gymnastic? Seriously?

There is a framed painting on the wall, please go stand in front of it. Chell and I stood in front of the painting, side by side. This is art. You will hear a buzzer, when you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. We stared at it. Just for kicks, I didn't blink the entire time. The man said stare after all.

You should now feel mentally reinvigorated. "Oh yes" I said glancing at Chell, "We are so reinvigorated." If you suspect staring at art has not provided the requried intelluctianal substanance, reflect briefly on this classical music.

A classical piece played and I closed my eyes. Man, I was really getting into this! Then that stupid buzzer blared and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Good. Now please return to your bed.

Finally! I thought as I climbed back in bed. Maybe now I can get some decent sleep around here.