Seatplans

by The Subversive

Summary: "What the – " "No way… No bloody way.." "Seatplans! But WHY???" Dumbledore thinks it's a brilliant plan, Sirius thinks of it a conspiracy, and you think you know what will happen. Lily and James.

Disclaimer: Once and for all, everybody in the world knows that the author, creator and grandmaster of the Harry Potter universe is JK Rowling. She is greatly to be credited for Albus Dumbledore's cunning wisdom and Sirius Black's wonderfully drop-dead good looks, and greatly to be blamed for Snape's greasy hair. Characters and story lines not believed to be in the Harry Potter series are mine. So there, don't sue me. –MsWeiRd0

Author's very important notes: This is a like a repost, but not really. My amazing friend MsWeiRd0 has granted me rights to rewrite this story, as she wouldn't be anymore. Everything's practically the same, characters and stuff, just a very different execution and plot. So there. You can check the story of the same title out.

Rating: T. So expect some things.

Chapter 1

Conspiracy

"What the – "

"No way… No bloody way.."

"Seatplans! But WHY???"

Lily's head was swimming in the not so quiet whispers of her classmates' complaints. She was still processing the whole seatplans thing, and her head was throbbing like it was being hit repeatedly by an enormous Transfiguration textbook.

And yeah, waking up that morning to a certain blonde best friend shrieking about her missing pink lace undies was no help either. Not to mention hitting her head in one of the bedposts after the shrieking.

Lily snapped back to reality.

"Seatplans? Why the bloody effing hell seatplans???" Sirius Black's annoying voice resounded loudly in the classroom, much like a screeching muggle microphone.

"I mean really…" he continued, much to the groaning of some and giggling of others, "What kind of sick person would be so cruel to do this?" To this he dropped to his knees and buried his head in his hands…

"Noooooooooooooooooooo…" His voice died out, and emphasized it rather dramatically with prolonged echoes... "ow..ow…ow…owhhhh…"

Lily desperately resisted the urge to smack him upside the head, but it would be too rude she thought, and would require much energy to cross the whole floor just to try to knock some sense into him…which would also be futile, he was a one-way ticket to St. Mungo's mental ward anyway.

She was saved the inconvenience when a certain mister James Potter did if for her.

Queue over-dramatic green-eyed eye-rolling.

"Ow. You prat." Sirius gathered himself. Blabber-mouth mode taking over in five, four, three, two…

"Honestly. I think it's a conspiracy!!! Sirius grabbed a chair and stood on it, putting his best I'm-about-to-say-something-important-so-you-better-bloody-listen face.

"Subjects of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," He paused for effect, "I say this seatplans thing is, is, er… preposterous!"

"Padfoot down this instant!" His friend Remus called, much like a stressed-out father too early in the morning.

"No Moony. Can't you see? They are taking us from our liberty of choosing where to place our lovely, toned, gorgeous bottoms!" Sirius winked at a blonde girl nearby.

James snorted. "Yeah, you forgot humongous."

Sirius was serious now. Seriously injured? In the head? Lily likes to think so.

"Prongs, everybody, people! Don't you see where this is going?" He raised his hands exasperatedly, waiting for someone to pipe in and give him an answer. Peter, their other friend, was oggling at him and looked like he was about to drool. "Oh come on! Don't tell me you can't see what's happening here!"

Lily was getting impatient. "Just tell us then!"

"Alright, Evans. Sheeesh. Hotheaded redheads…" This comment earned him a deathglare from said redhead. He sniggered… "Hothead readhead… Hahahaha…"

Sirius cleared his throat. "We are being suppressed of our rights to freedom of choice! Next thing you know, we'd be forced to line up for lunch, eating gross things those muggles call in their schools food! And then, Quidditch will be banned!!!" he said with a big gasps. "Or, or, no… They can't! What if they REFUSE to put fabric conditioners on our clothes!!! What then?"

"You're being ridiculous, have I told you that?" Remus was patiently telling him.

Sirius ignored the comment. "So let's make a stand!!! Let's tell whoever came up with this we won't!!! What say you?" He asked dramatically… "What say you?!!!"

Cricket, cricket…

"It's a free country!!! WE DIE WITH FREEDOM!!!!" Sirius was posing like he was taken out of an epic movie.

"Sirius Black, get down this instant!" Professor McGonagal's voice boomed as she entered the room.

Everyone quickly cleared the space where Sirius was making the speech of his life.

"Mr. Black, please get down." Even the professor was having a bad day today.

"See! I'm being DICTATED, ORDERED, to get down! What is the world coming in to?!" Sirius continued melodramatically.

McGonagall sighed. "Mister Lupin, please get Mr. Filch and – "

And that was the magic word, as Sirius quickly sat down and stayed like an obedient puppy.

Lily couldn't help but smile.

"As you may have noticed, on the board," the professor said, pointedly staring at Sirius, who in turn looked behind him to see who she was supposedly looking at, "we are going to have a few changes around here."

Sirius nudged James at his sides and whispered, "I told you so…"

"No mister Black, the house elves will still do your laundry, and yes mister Black, you will still be able to play Quidditch." Sirius brightened at the professor's statements, "but we shall be doing experimental sectioning in classes."

Groans were heard all throughout the class.

"The headmaster thinks it would encourage more," she was choosing her words, "inter-house cooperation and bonding, after the unforgettably repugnant incident in the trains yesterday." Again, the professor looked at Sirius.

Sirius tuned to his left and right to see who she was staring at, and after putting two and two together, "Me? What have I got anything to do with repugnant? Ughh.. it sounds like a bad name for cologne."

"Padfoot, I think she means the Slytherin thing yesterday." Remus said.

"Huh?" Sirius was confused.

"The compartment, and dungbombs?" James offered.

"Oh." Realization dawned on Sirius. "Oh…" He and James howled in hard laughter.

"I swear. Those midgets had it coming." Sirius said.

"They were twelve!" Lily exclaimed.

"I was twelve too!" Sirius said excitedly.

Can anyone on earth really have a shorter attention span than Sirius Black?

"Professor," Lily's friend Clara shot her hand up.

"Yes Miss Harris?" McGonagall was praying for a change in topic. Where has reason gone!

"Will the seatplans be in effect only to us seventh years?"

"I'm afraid so. It's only experimental. We're going to observe, if there are significant changes with your behavior," again deathglares to Sirius, "then shall the headmaster decide."

"So professor," Remus asked this time, "there will be reorganization in groupings for classes?"

"Yes. So expect a change in your schedules." With a flick of her wand, everyone's new schedules appeared on their desks.

"I would recommend you study these schedules, as they were made with careful thought and consideration. Now everyone please proceed to your respective classes." The professor sat on her desk and began fumbling on a few scrolls of parchment.

James studied his schedule, he had Transfiguration at first period, which was a good thing, he didn't have to get his arse up and go to –

"Potions." Sirius said. "I've got bloody Potions for first period. Wait, shite, double period! I get to see Slughorn's big, round gut first thing in the morning. Great. Spiffing."

"I've got Transfiguration." James said, although it had little to do with comforting.

"Yeah. Me too." Remus glanced at James' schedule, theirs were practically the same.

"That's so unfair!" Sirius pouted. "We only meet for Defense and Charms. Eurgh."

"What've you got, Peter?" Remus asked.

Peter was looking back and forth from his and James' schedule. "Oh man. I don't match! I rarely get to see you at all! I've got Divination right now guys." Peter scurried off before anyone else could say a word.

James spaced out, and a thought occurred to him.

Lily.

He craned his neck and looked for her red hair, and there she was. Brow furrowed and her schedule almost reaching her nose, she looked bloody fantastic.

James shook his head. He was drowning in her – again. He heaved a deep sigh and slumped back in his chair.

"Do I need to guess?" Remus inquired as he sat beside James, just as the seatplan that just appeared in the board indicated, following James' gaze.

"Nah. Look, what class's she on?" James continued staring at her.

"I don't know. I don't see her name anywhere on the board." Remus was checking and double-checking for Lily's name.

James' stare continued to follow Lily, when she gathered her bag over her shoulder and made to get up. She looked kind of pleased, exiting with her brunette friend smiling. He sighed yet another deeply. "Not ours then." James brought out his quill and parchment.

"Jessica Stam." Remus was squinting his eyes, reading the girl who's supposed to sit at James' right.

James looked at Remus then the board, and it read Jessica Stam indeed. And just then a honey-blonde girl appeared, Barbie's human incarnate and the disposition to go along with it.

"James. Remus." She said with a wide smile, revealing her perfect toothpaste commercial-worthy teeth. She had bright blue eyes and long dangling earrings adorned with shiny pearls and glittering stars. She looked like she stepped out from a clothing magazine. Very minimal clothing, magazine.

"Of course, Jessica. How could I forget?" James nodded and smiled at her. Remus waved, and she waved back ecstatically.

Jessica grinned. "I know! How could you?" She sat down and settled her crocodile handbag delicately behind her. "Digging up ancient history again, are we James?"

"I'm afraid not." James smiled smoothly. He began copying notes from the board, where McGonagall was starting the lesson, transfiguring masses of dust into gorgeous butterflies.

Remus was taking down notes as well, and observing the exchange between the two, "Jessica. How's your dad going?"

If there was one thing Jessica Stam was known for, aside from being astonishingly pretty and tendencies for sarcasm, was her dad. Jessica's father was seeker for the Quidditch British team, which meant being immensely popular, filthy rich, and good-looking for a man nearing his forties.

Jessica shrugged. "Okay I guess. I really didn't get to see him much. He went to Romania for some training and I stayed with my granddad's. Still got the autographed broom, James?"

"Yeah. It's at home." James replied shortly, frowning. He was thinking about something. Something's really missing.

Remus and Jessica were looking at him oddly.

James looked up. "Remus, do you know who Head Boy is?" He asked.

Remus never got to answer as the professor's voice resonated, the three of them looked up.

"Mister Potter? The headmaster wants to see you."

Lily was walking arm in arm with Clara, smiling to her self. Potions first thing in the morning, nothing beats that. At least she was hoping Professor Slughorn would tone it a notch down with all the "oho!"'s and Slug Club thing. It was getting a little too, put in kind words, tiring.

They entered the classroom together and glanced at the seatplans, thank Merlin Slughorn was yet nowhere to be found, and Lily almost immediately wanted to faint.

Lily was dumbfounded. Her mouth was hanging open, and she was staring at the the board as if she received detention. Okay, a month's worth of detention.

"Lily what's wrong?" Clara asked. She glanced at the seatplans, "Oh there I am. And you're oh… Oh…" Clara's voice faded.

"Yes ladies," a tall, black-haired guy suddenly appeared between them, putting an arm around each of their shoulders, "this is going to be one, awesome year." His grin almost reached his ears.

A/N: Short taster. Review as you please. More LJ coming, just having fun with Siri-poo at the moment.